h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Carl Sagan mentioned a possible 10th planet in his book "Comet"but it orbital period was 33 million years. Refered to as the "Death Star" it would explain the regular mass extinctions on earth.

Wasn't there supposed to be 10th planet somewhere between Mercury and Venus, nominally named "Vulcan", I'll have to dig out some books to check the details but this was ages ago, long before they got around to discovering Neptune and Pluto.

Yes, there was.

It's presence was supposed to explain certin irregularities of Mercury's orbit, and it's location was placed as either between Mercury and Venus, or between Mercury and the sun.

After Einstein, scientists realized that the irregularities were caused by the sheer gravitational pull of light exiting the sun. Or something like that.

Yes, there is a tenth planet! It is my dominion and I hereby claim it as my own!

Free the 10th Planetians from the cruel regime of the Masque of the Red Herring! Let freedom spread her wings throughout the Solar System!!!!

Well, see, that's the embarrassing part. No one lives there. I rule over a dead rock.

Excuse me, but in most cases I don't think that dictators are voted into power. Usually they tend to seize control rather forcefully. So, my question is did you assasinate the big rock that had been ruling the planet or did you just imprison it for life? or is exile more your style (that could explain a few of the comets we've seen)? Even if you would hold an election to become dictator, a bad political move in my opinion, wouldn't you need people there to vote for/against you? Or do you have the rocks that you havn't jetisoned into space vote? Do you actualy campaign saying that you will promise to reduce errosion by 10%? Or do you just assume that they will be won over by your charming smile that I'm sure they're jelous about (being that they have no mouths to smile with and all). Well, that was my question. Thanks.
Chach

PS. Whats with your name?

I am the Masque. You can call me Lord Blackstone if you like. I did not *run* for dictator of the Tenth Planet. It was more along the lines that I landed there, and I was the only living person there, and I wanted a planet to rule, so I seized it in my name. Sort of like the Anglo Saxons seized America, except there were no Natives for me to bother (except, of course, the rocks, who don't seem to mind. I don't bother them, they don't bother me). I'm thinking of setting up a Dr. Evil style base on the planet, Planet Blackstone, and having all of my hench-people build nightmarish devices to help me trap and kill Chrome101, or Afgncaap5, or Garius Lupus, or any other ones of my mortal enemies.

I am *running* for dictator of H2G2 (All these fools are out campaigning to be virtual president, I figgured I'd at least put some honesty into my campaign and call myself a dictator). It's not entirely unheard of for a dictator to run for office. Hitler ran for office, and then burned all the votes that were against him so that he could rule. Lenin ran for office, too, and did pretty much the same thing, I believe. Stalin had one competitor for the dictatorship, but he had that man exiled to Mexico or some place and then killed.

So Vote for Justice, Vote for Power, Vote for the rights of the Fish and the Plants! Vote for a world free of Spammers and Spam! Vote Masque for Dictator!

Hitler didn't run for dictator. He might have run for office, but once he gained office he seized power. Anyways, whats this about president of h2g2? I havn't heard about this. Also, your 10th planet secret-Dr.Evil-style-base-thing is missing one key point. It's not secret any more. hehehehe
~Chach

PS. have you thought of a more people friendly campaing such as Masque- the dictator who cares or
Need a friend? Just vote Masque.

more campaign ideas

Masque - The personal mass murderer
Genocide with the family touch - vote masque