h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

well, 50 saints is a biggie... *places water column on table*

What else can you give the man who created the universe???

Peace of Mind !!!

presents!? oh no! was i suppose to bring a present? oh man!

Well, your 'present' anyway !!!

ah, i get it. but really i must get you a present of some kind (but what do you give GOD?). This may take a while.

No Hurry...I've got Eternity !!!

i'm working on the 'peace of mind' bit, but in the mean time-

*slaps a pair of pink bunny slippers on the table*

these'll have to do.

beautiful entry page... uh.. really... yeah...

ducks head and hurries thru to the party...

* HE grasps the pink bunny slippers with something approaching joy... *

* Well at least somewhere in the ballpark anyway... *

Thanks !!!

* teeth grind... *

*Pops head back in thru doorway*
yes, well, any sensible deity- knowing his first child as he does- would PUT THEM ON before he decided to dislike them!
*returns to main room*

Okay...present...

Um...

Here's a sub-atomic particle accelerator.

3

JOTD: Why is it that when you transport something by ship it's cargo, but when you transport it by car it's a shipment?

Oh...you shouldn't have !!!

No really, you shouldn't have...

OKAY! i have here, in this beautifuly rapped shoe box the greatest present you could posibly give to anyone in the entire universe and beyond. *plops the box on the table*
there you go. Hope you like it.

Well the peace of mide is diffacult but here have an all expencis paide vacatian to any destination of you choice.
That is if you are not already there this thing about you being omni presant is very confusing

*push push push push* oof!

Only the Americans could have invented a piece of furniture like this. Only God would throw a party on a Monday and make it impossible to arrange for someone else to deliver it.

This is a sofa with recliners built in to it. And a thingumbob (you forgot to name everything, didn't you) you pull down in the middle that has a circular depression in it where the glass rests, the one you're probably drinking from.

So when you achieve peace of mind, here's something you can enjoy it in.

Jeez, what to buy the man who created everything?
Well, I could give you a piece of *my* mind, but I don't think you'd enjoy it...
*grins*
Your present, big guy:
Zax, I'm not appearing alcohol, I'm appearing my present, which just *happens* to be alcohol...
*A large selection of the finest Scotch (the real stuff, all the way from the country itself) appears on the gift table*
Now feel free to share that around...

Oh yes the scotch should be sherd (Ok I am n online alcoholic so what)

*swagers in fashionably late

I got a couple of sacrifices in the car for thou, my almighty droog and leader. They are cute and all yours.

*walks to the bar, pours a rather large 'joe cocker', hands it to the almighty

enjoy, but slowly.

It would, of course, be apt for me to give you a Teapot however, I've gone one better.
Introducing, The Never Emptying Tea-Pot!