h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Doctor Smith, hello. Spacechick here. In that other dimension I am a writer for a newspaper and would like my publisher to accept an article on villains from me, what with the movie Hannibal coming on the 9th. I am looking for uses for villains. So far I have three.

1. Guys on dates use them to frighten their girlfriends into cuddling.
2. Once riding my bicycle through the woods I was so frightened of the Mad Hessian (headless horseman) that I made the best time ever, and got a good workout to boot. So they make pretty good personal trainers.
3. If you have trouble sleeping you can close your eyes and play this game: imagine your favorite villain is in your house. Follow his footsteps around. Here is the rule: He can't touch you if he thinks you're aslee. You'll play possum so well that you'll soon be asleep for real. This really works, by the way.

So, with all that in mind, I am searching for other uses for the baddies. And since you obviously have an interest in Daleks ...

By the way... did you take your name from Lost in Space or Doctor Who?

Spacechick

P.S. I actually met a Dalek once, many years ago. It was quite startling.

Spacechick

I always thought it would be fun to have a Dalek of my very own, but unfortunately I haven't been able to find a pet store that has them in stock.

My name comes from Doctor Who. I've never watched Lost in Space, though I suppose I should sometime.

As for your article, it sounds like a lot of fun and I would enjoy seeing it when you finish it (if you haven't already). Let's see what I can come up with:

-Some villains are good for a hearty laugh now and then. Apparently there is an old B-grade (or D- or F-grade) sci-fi movie called "Manos: The Hands of Fate" where the villain has a bodily disfigurement (like many villains do, such as a scar or hook-hand or something likewise scary) -- he has abnormally large knees.

-I think that villains have probably kept the world from getting conquered by power hungry egomaniacs. When you consider how many villains have implemented foolproof plans for world domination only to be stopped at the last minute against all odds by a single hero, it really makes you stop to think of what your chances for world domination are. I mean, if the Daleks, Borg, or Cybermen can't take over the earth, why should some measly little head of a multinational corporation think he can?

-Seriously, though, I do think villains remind us of the fact that good will triumph over evil. No matter how powerful and evil the villain is, no matter how inept the good guys are, good will eventually win out. Even if the villain does win, some child of prophecy will eventually rise up to save the world from his cruel dominion.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'll give it some more thought and let you know if I come up with anything.

-Doctor Smith

I am a Doctor Who fan (and hate the term 'Whovian')

Other uses for villains:

4. Learn from their mistakes to help you in your own plans to take over the world.

5.To make hero's look good. James Bond/Batman/Doctor Who would be pretty bland people without incompetent villains to defeat.

6. How can you rescue fair maidens without having villains to lock them up in the first place ?

Villains also make life more interesting...

Out of interest, and I may be wrong, but I am sure that a Dalek was seen to hove in 1985's "Revelation of the Daleks".

And you can own Daleks, not from pet stores, but from This Planet Earth along with TARDISes and K9s. Why exactly, I am not sure. They must have seen the marketing potential.

Hmmm. The hover function WAS seen in Revelation but it was our man Davros doing the hovering!