h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Twilight Zone

So... twice this summer I've seen magpies eating dead sparrows - OK, so I know they do kill smaller birds, right?

And then one morning I saw a dead magpie, half-eaten - are they cannibals?

And then - I saw a dead hare (and yes, I do mean hare, larger than a rabbit) with magpies eating from it. OK, so magpies are meat-eaters, but I doubt that they are able to actually kill a hare.

So something else must have killed the hare. I take a walk in the forest/s every now and then, and...

No wolves in this part of Sweden (apart from the wolf that wandered right through the city centre in the middle of the night some years ago)

No foxes

No ferrets

No badgers

No birds of prey

OK, how about a dog running lose/loose? (I'll never learn the difference)

Yeah, maybe...

...and maybe that would also be a possible explanation for the very big paw prints I saw in the snow last winter?

*looks around checking the surroundings, just in case*

*lowers voice to a whisper*
And then there was this poo that I noticed on my way to the commuter train station this morning - not dog poo, not cat poo - darn! I used to be a girl scout, you know! I ought to be able to recognize this specific type of poo, you know?

But I don't

If you can't identify it, I'll have to insist that you turn in your Poo Badge.

I don't have a poo badge, so there!


You mean there really is a poo badge for scouts?

Not in the US. But you brought up the subject. I thought it was a Scandinavian thing.

Darn! That means I'll have to check it up in order to be able to tell if you're right or wrong, right?


*drifting off to check Swedish scout links*

I think conservation agents have to take courses in poo identification.

aliens..

So THAT's why they visit earth.

What, Aliens visit earth to do courses on Poo identification? A. A. Milne's family must be very happy.

No, I meant that they are leaving the poo.

"Next rest stop 2.5 Light Years"

That explains why Ti couldn't identify it.

If it was a very large pile, it was probably Vogon poo.

Pah! Bah! All this joking around is really a sig of the 'I don't know, why ask me?' pattern, right?

Now, if somebody could just simply point me to a site with various poos and how to identify them...

Oh - and by the way - everyone who has responded to this journal seem to have these extremely silly explanations for the poo - is there a so far undiscovered conspiracy including aliens going on at h2g2?

*peers over her black sunglasses* Conspiracy? What conspiracy?

*looks furtively over her shoulder* What aliens?

Excuse me. Gotta run.

maybe if you could describe the poo, I have spent some time in the bush and have friends in forestry.
[life]

And you think it might belong to them?

Maybe next time you should take a picture of the pawprints.

And you certainly have other animals prowling the woods who can kill hares: men with guns.

Try searching under 'spore' or is it spelt 'spoor', anyhoo that's what trackers call poo on those wild life programmes.