h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I quite agree, I too love Malabarista's entries she is a joy and has so many interests. She seems to know a little about everything.

I suppose NZ is rather like Scotland to us we love to hate each other and yet we are all the same really.

I seem to be surrounded by poets my best friend has just had a small book of poetry published. She is really taken up with her poetry threads and spends ages on the boards. Today she told me that she thinks she is addicted and is there any special food she should be eating.

We were talking about pain the other day and I said how much pain changes a person. Keith says he has noticed a change in me. I have always been easy going and cheerful. Sometimes now I can get irritable and down.

I shall look forward to seeing you wherever you decide to go.

There is a school of thought that says when you try to forget, or ignore, some unpleasantness in your life, such as pain, there is a part of your mind that must constantly remember what it is you are trying to forget, or ignore, so that it does not come to the forefront of your thinking. This is a bit convoluted but what it means is that for everything that has been traumatic in your life, a piece of your attention units is assigned to keeping it hidden from your consciousness
and that this has a limiting effect on your vitality. I sometimes wonder what terrible things I am suppressing that leaves me so vitiated.
But then, it is only a theory.

I don't think I am addicted to poetry but it has a strange way of allowing you to be pretentious, pompous, emotional, sententious, cryptic
callow, embarrassing, and verbose and all sounding to some degree impressive as long as it has an attractive cadence and/or a clever rhyme. Also it massages the ego if somebody thinks it is good.

I suppose to the Okker type Australian New Zealanders are like a younger brother that we like to tease and belittle. I think as a nation us Oz's have an inferiority complex that we try to overcome by being good at many things so that we can brag about them. The Australian press exaggerates our victories to an excessive degree. Possibly some of our notables would be modest about their achievments but the press wont allow them. Naturally I want the Australians always to win, but it would serve them plurry right if your lot managed to beat us. Ego may not be a dirty word, but it can be obnoxious.

I don't think I have a memory that I have chosen to forget although I must say I couldn't be hypnotised. I went once to a bloke who tried to hypnotise me into losing weight. No such luck I wouldn't go out. I just kept nearly dozing off then waking up crying. He said that there was a hidden fear somewhere started suggesting all sorts of abuse and stuff so I just didn't go again.

It's good to find something you are good at. Something that can stroke your ego even just a little. When I was a child I badly wanted to act. I was really good but mother was of the opinion that acting was a bad profession one up from prostitution and she wouldn't let me although I did have some oportunities it just didn't happen.

I was watching a programme tonight about the Scots and how the English treated them. I am a Scot by blood and I have to say I understand why some Scots hate the English. I have to say though that now we are supposed to be Europeans and not English we have to forgive lots of people who did some pretty bluddy awful things in the war. The English are a funny lot they like to profess to hate everyone and yet they seem to get along with everyone. Probably just hypocrites really.

I mean the way they have treated the Commonwealth makes you spit. I am quite glad in a way that the Commonwealth gets its own back by beating us at nearly everything.

I'm a bit disgruntled at the moment having just played a less than memorable game of golf. But it will be better next time.

As a person with mostly Scottish and some Irish blood I suppose I should be a little anti-Brit, but if we go back far enough we probably all came from a similar blood pool. I guess we are what we are and what our ancestors were is a bit irrelevant.

Well your lot won the first of the one day finals. A friend in the golf club reckons it is all rigged to make sure there are three games. All a matter of money he says. To prove him right Australia has to win the next game. We'll see!

I hope your gruntle is not dissed today. I am sure that money plays a big part in the politics of sport today. It is a bit of a shame but at the end of the day like theatre it is a matter of bums on seats I suppose.

I don't really feel anti anyone. If you look hard enough ever country has a skeleton or two in it's cupboard. They call it different things the American's call it friendly fire and the Brits called it a Commonwealth.


In the South of England there has been 7 inches of snow and that part of the world has come to a grinding halt, including airports. The North of England has not had any snow. I find that in a country so small this is quite amazing.

I could not write yesterday. A mighty gale was blowing and the power kept going off.

Well we can all be disgusted with the Ozzies now. What a weak mob. And how about that Sydney weather! You may not know but Sydney siders are always slinging off at Melbourne weather. How we all have web feet etc. But it seems to me that both Sydney and Brisbane have more rain interruptions than we do in our southern climes.

I was surprised to find a new contact on my personal space. I tend to back away from people who approach me. But I did reply. Be a bit rude not to I guess. I am a complicated man who likes to keep things simple, mainly because I can't keep things straight in my head.

Tell me, those rosy red cheeks, was it your English heritage or was it a very hot day?

I am having all sorts of trouble trying to get photos on my Emails. I downloaded some software, Adobe Photoshop something or other, that gathered a lot of my photos in one spot, which I thought was good, but I cant move them to the mail. The only ones I have been able to send have popped up in other places. I can see a day in the future when the word for blinding frustrated rage is COMPUTER!! Actually that day is now.

I will send you another joke. It has that rude word in it (I don't swear much but there are moments in golf when I take the lord's name in vain, which I suppose is strange considering I am not religious) but it made me laugh.

Rosy red cheeks that was supposed to be my tan. I had been living in the Caribbean then for nearly a year and it was a very hot day, with no AC in the airport. Of course rosy red cheeks are my heritage too.

I have found a few friends in my time on the boards you in particular made my days in the Caribbean a little easier to put up with. It wasn't a very nice time in my life and I am grateful to h2g2 for that.

How gorgeous is Kanga, what a little dream boat she is I can just imagine her running.

I will look forward to another joke rude word and all. Did you receive my jokes? Some of them pinched from the h2g2 Joke thread.

I guess oldtimers is getting worse as I cannot remember whether I have replied to your comm or not. And I always seem to start writing just before meal times. Maybe it is a subconscious ploy to have an excuse to stop when my mind goes blank.

We have water restrictions now due to the drought, and I can only hose the growing things (can't call it a garden as that would give you the wrong impression) between 6 and 8 in the morning and 8 and 10 in the evening and only on Wednesday and Sunday. So I was up at 6 this morning dutifully giving various bits of shrubbery and a couple of fruit trees a drink which will have to hold them over what promises to be a very hot couple of days. The soil on my block is very sandy and does not hold moisture too well. Also it is poor quality and it is difficult to grow any of the more exotic plants. The fact that I am a lousy gardener does not help either.

It seems to be a lot of work getting your business up and running. I certainly hope it works out for you. I have got myself on the mailing list of several health magazines (not intentionally) and am constantly getting earnest letters telling me of sure fire cures for all the ailments known to man. All I have to do is buy a marvellous book with all the answers. It is my failing that although I am cynical about these offers I still can't help wondering if I am perhaps missing out on a good thing.

Earlier today I was reading on the web about the prophecies of the Hopi indians and I guess if I live long enough some sort of disaster will solve all our problems.

Every year no matter how much rain we get the government put on water restrictions. If there is a dought then I can understand it but our restrictions are often because the water authorities allow so much water to be wasted. Most homes have water metres now and we have to pay for every drop.

I found that a lot of exotic fruit trees and plants can actually survive quite well without being watered after all they are used to droughts I suppose.

There is a story about a man who took a cactus plant home to a very dry part of America from a dessert in Australia where it had not rained for years. The Cactus remained dry and dormant for several years. Finally it rained and the cactus burst open and thousands of tiny spiders were inside also laying dormant until the rains came.

Now whether this story is true I don't really know, but I think that a lot of plants can stay alive through all sorts of adverse weather conditions. Except the plants in my house and I can kill them just by talking to them.

I must say we are working hard, in fact the website is slowly driving my husband insane. He is talking to himself mumbling all kinds of profanity. He is not good a thinking about two things at the same time so even interupting him for meals is a scary thing. He says that even when he is walking the dog he is talking to himself about the web site.



It is a bit of a headache and loads more work than we thought but hey it is all worthwhile I am sure

I suppose you can't have a baby without labour pains. One reason why I never had a baby I guess. Labour is a four letter word to me.

A hot day today and possibly hotter tomorrow. I used to like it when I was young, when I did not have a big belly and old man's warts. Then I could feel comfortable on the beach, apart from my tattered skin. When I was young a severe sunburn turned septic and left me with orrible scars. Keloids I think they call them.

As long as I can remember I have had a guilt complex. You only had to look at me and say, "Did you do it?", and I would feel so guilty everybody would be sure I was the culprit. At one time I asked my mother if I was one of twins. I had the vague feeling that perhaps my twin had died at birth. Then I had the thought that perhaps an embyonic twin had been absorbed into my body. Wierd huh? But I have recently heard of a condition called Chimerism where that very thing does happen.
So I know that does not prove anything, but it would explain a lot.

I suppose we all would like to feel there was something special about us. Probably why there are so many fairy stories. Where theyell has my genie got to?

I love your idea about having a twin. I believe you might have something there. Elvis was a twin can you imagine two Elvis's? I have several twin friends my best friend Joan is very close to her sister but when she was younger she spent all her time with me and her sister had her own friends it was almost as if they were completely different ages. On the other hand I also knew a identical set of twins and they wore the same clothes and were never with anyone else.

I see there is a television programme on about twins who have two heads and one body, they were talking and saying how very independant they were and how they both had very different personalities. Sounds a bit bizarre to me.

Nowadays people seem to be more sensible when it comes to sun burn. I would get sunburned on a regular basis, being to lazy, stupid or just forgetful to put on the sun cream. I have not heard of keloids but they sound painful.

Guilt is an odd thing and I think you are right it is something borne from childhood. I heard about a man who would not eat anything but salt and vinegar crisps, pizza and chips with tomato ketchup. He ended up talking to a psychologist who discovered that his father always became very argumentative at meal times and there was usually a bad atmosphere at the dinner table. Consequently this man could not sit down at a dinner table with anyone and felt physically sick when he tried to.

This feeling had become buried in his subconscious mind and he had no clue why he behaved the way he did until they talked to his mum and brother.

I believe our parents are responsible for a lot of 'odd' behaviours and feelings including guilt which often lead to all sorts of personality disorders.

Just been watching Australia thrash us in St Vincent. Our bowling and fielding was absolute and total cr*p.
Hope all is well with you. Last time we spoke you said that Kanga was sick. Keeping my fingers crossed that all is well.

OH has lost 25lbs since November he is over the moon. Me the one who cooked, shopped and made up all the meal ideas haven't lost a flippin pouund there is no justice.

Better late than never they say. Dumb dingoes! Just thought I'd put something here to keep the thread alive.

Just put a poem on another page based on writer's block and only now realised I left out the apostrophe. That annoys me! Yesterday I mis-spelled weird. Three times. I thought it looked strange but was too lazy to check up. The email spellchecker failed to tell me. Maybe it was correct in US. After all, they are wierd.

You still have not told me how to pronounce Ruud. It is like when I read Fantasy novels and they have all those WEIRD names. Slows me down no end.

Middle of Autumn now and still not much rain. Except last Thursday. I'd just made par on the fourteenth hole when the game was called off because of lightning. Then the rain came down in buckets. Only two men finished and one of them had a nett68. He was not amused. It might have been a winning score. That's golf.

Nice to see the old place again. We pronounce Ruud as Rude. It is a Dutch name of I am ashamed to admit a footballer in the Manchester United Team.

He has now left and is playing for another team, however once you have given a dog a bad name and all that. We thought about changing it but poor old Ruud won't answer to Charlie.

When my husband was a child he was adopted his mother decided that it would be a good idea to have another child for him to play with so she started making enquiries re another little boy around the same age. However, the adoption people came up with a lad who was quite a bit older and who had the same name as my hubs although spelt a bit different. Stephen instead of Steven.

Well after pondering the problem of having two lads in the house with the same name she decided that the older boy had had the name longer so he should keep it so Stephen became Keith and Steven remained Steven.

Consequently Keith is very certain that Ruud should remain Ruud in case the poor thing gets confused and worried about his identity.

Worry not about weird. The rule is i before e and people of our age and education always think about that before writing, therefore getting words like Keith and weird wrong.

When the bad weather comes do you stop playing golf? If you do then you will miss it big time. Do you still get together with the guys you play with? Do you maybe sit around together and complain about the weather or is that just an English thing to do.

I am told that we have moved to one of the most wettest places in England. It probably has twice the rainfall of the rest of the Country. I am telling myself you cannot have a green and pleasant land without rain.

It is odd that you have so little green places around you. It's abit like that in America even gardens or yards are quite small there. I imagine Australia to be huge and open and am always surprised when I see pictures of beautiful cities instead. Unfortunately the green of England is being taken over by roads and buildings although there is some land which is in what they call the Green Belt which will never be built on.

Where we live now is a National Park. The Lake District it is very lovely. If you Google The Lake District and Cumbria you will see some of the lovely scenery that I live with. You can't get the lovely bits without a drop of rain it would appear.

How I go on, one thing sets my mind off on something else. I was a psychiatric nurse for many years and there is something called Knights Move it is something to do with chess it means going off on to different subjects constantly. It was usually a problem with people who were bi-polar disordered and diffinite sign of a mental illness.

I think I have been put in my place by Jab. He is obviously my intellectual superior which makes me feel defensive and rather inadequate. (Say nothing to this as it is obviously designed to induce words of sympathy and reassurance.) Only I can know the mush in the way of a brain with which I have to work. A fumbler in the forest of thoughtery, a scrabbler in the dust kicked up by the knowledgeable feet of the big brained highminders.
Well, that might be a bit strong.
Really I just wanted to write something that has a bit more permanence than does an email.

I was awakened in the early hours by Kanga jumping from the bed and running across the floor. Then I heard her being violently ill. She had been trying to get to her litter box and didn't quite make it. Poor little thing. She is back to normal today, eating well, and went for a tour of the yard for a couple of hours. Now she is curled up in the chair behind me as I write. A worry and a blessing in a ball of fur. Life can be a continual sweet and sour meal.