h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

women have finally finished me off. i wash my hands of the lot of you. you look as though youll be just as well off without me anyway.

Bah, you're lucky. Women never finish me off properly.

B

Oh my goodness me

That's one of the best rejoinders I've ever seen on h2g2 B

Yes, indeed!

If it makes you feel any better UH, shortly after I posted a similar sentiment to my Journal a few years ago, my relationship with TJ started up. Maybe it'll work out as well for you!

what? no, ive more or less just split up. its actually a long story and no more than she or i deserve, but i still miss her.

A desirable young chap like you shouldn't have any probs finding another girlfriend UH The pain will last a while though

its lasted three and a half months and counting. she is bang over me; i had hoped to get back together, but she has now decreed that we cant be real friends until im over her. this could take a while, and its not helped by the fact that she is beautiful enough to pick up any man she wants, and in fact is seeing other guys, while i just miss her. also, my finals are in under three weeks.

also, i am rubbish at getting new girlfriends.

Best to just worry about your finals for now. The new girlfriend will come, I'm sure.

I'd be miserable without you, unc.

DZ

But we care Unc! And we you! Hang in there bud - the next great "gal" is right around the corner...

Did someone say "Great Gal?" I was just around the corner...

Awww, poor, heart-broken Unc...
It will get better, dearest, I promise. I suggest you sink into studying for your exams and try and spend some time with friends of the Platonic kind.

bah, it was a volatile relationship, and should have come to an end.

id just be happy if, when she saw me, she a) smiled b) said aynthing.

frankly, she looks very angry with me. i think its because i went over to her room and we had a bit of a barny about space issues. its oddthough, shes never been angry with me for more than a day...

I've been trying to invite you to my wedding, Unc. If you want I can try and clear a space

You could always get your mate to take you out, get you drunk and then sit you next to an ex. Worked for me.

Better still, if you're invited to wedding there's bridesmaids to get drunk and seduce.

**Master B's tips for being a salacious dirty bast*rd, no. 1927**

B

The disadvantage, of course, is that you won't remember a thing in the morning, including name(s)...
My darling husband wants to add that seducing bride's maids in your wedding is a no-no.

Just be sneaky and don't get caught till later, when all the juicy details come out.

Good tactics, though if Unc's demeanor hasn't changed much in the last 3 years, I doubt he'll do it very well.

I was just a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding. The troupe consisted of me, my obsessed-with-ex-boyfriend other sister, and three calvinists. He'd have the best chance with me!

hmmm...

So how have the most recent weeks been, Unc?