h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*KL returns before they get very far*

It's all true. That was a version of me from the future. I'm even going to be leaving a message for myself, it seems. The gist of this message says that I should go through a rather simple series of time jumps, manipulate Christopher Tonks to turn on Afgncaap5 for a brief few moments, and have Chameleon come with me, so that he can record the CD that Tonks will destroy. Also, it says that I should leave for my first time jump in about....fifteen minutes.

Then I'll just put together a handy little weapon called a "Continuity Blaster", and I will be the ruling authority on h2g2's continuity! Let's see, I can do wonders. Prevent the heroes from making it into the OmegaMatic, prevent the heroes from destroying the Masque's nuclear statue, prevent the heroes from basically foiling every single plan that I have ever launched.

But you know what? With this thing, the world could peacefully be mine! Every attempt to foribly stop me will be moderated away! I won't even have to spend much money on security mechanisms!

*KL thinks about a few more things that could be done with the gun, and eagerly watches a clock on the wall*


We're all in the Hangar now, right?

yeah

but I just saw Chameleon with it I thought.....?

[Y2K] Two words: "future version." I'm being uncharacteristically clever, aren't I?

Yes. Generally, of all of YK's characters, only Y4K's Brain would really make that kind of remark. Well,....maybe Mackenzie....

[Y2K] Or Elbert.

I see......

Er, where are we going and are we there yet?

*Minos enters his time machine*

We're all in the hangar. Shortly after I leave, the future me should return and become the present me. I, meanwhile, will be stealing the information required to get the Continuity Gun. After that, the Universe will fall before me!

*Minos closes the time machine's door as soon as he's sure that Chameleon has also entered, and the machine quickly winks out of existence*

[Y2K] 'Bye.

Have fun....

[Y2K] I wonder how it'll turn out? No, wait, we know, don't we?

I don't think we do, surely we'll find out soon enough though.......this time travel stuff is weird, I wonder what the H2G2 dimention believes in; if you go back and kill your grandfather do you disapear, or do you still stay in existance unless you go back to a time after you are born OR does it affect you at all?

[Y2K] And things get even /more/ complicated when you try to talk about it! Like in Chrono Trigger, when there's a guy in the future who talks about events "later in the past"...

*The time machine appears again, and the door opens, revealing a somewhat sick looking Agent Chameleon, and a grinning Minos Krylma. The Krylma Leader is clutching a strange looking gun, that he eagerly points at a few other machines in the hangar. They dissapear without even so much as a scattering of electrons*

The ultime clean killer! More powerful than vaporization, more lethal than killing someone in the past, more dangerous than a bull in an explosive shop! The Continuity Gun! With this little hunk of machinery, I can alter continuity, change people's lives, destroy all resistance!

Hmmm, let's see....I'll use this thing to get myself elected to all known governmental positions in the world! Then, when people complain about that, I'll just zap the continuity of the law, thus making it legal! Once Earth is quietly resting in my clawed hands, I will reclaim the moon, and my colonies on Mars.

Every tyrannical dictator in the known Galaxy knows that Earth is the hardest to conquer planet (it's practically Superhero Central), so once I've got this Solar System on my mantlepiece, the rest of the Galaxy will just fall into place.

With this Galaxy gone, I'll find challenges in other galaxies, and other galaxy clusters. Then, the Great Wall will fall, along with the rest of the known Universe! And once I've gotten control of the Universe in its present state,....

*KL glances back at the time machine*

....I think that I'll just reshape history in my own image. With this gun, I won't have any problems with interfering with my own history. I'll stake out a claim from Eden's conception to Judgement Day's wrath! And then, when everything's said and done,....

*Minos thinks for a few moments*

I'll just have to forcibly evolve myself into the next plane of existence. I'll be able to just recline, and casually splash about in the time stream once in a while, and just otherwise retire into perpetual universe owning bliss.

This is so good, I don't even think I'll let the heroes stop me. No way that they can stop me in my present state.

[Y2K] Can you evolve me, too?

Well, sure I *can*, but will I? Hmmm....

[Y2K] D'OH!

Meanwhile, it's time for my first major continuity change.

*Points at a holographic map of h2g2 on the wall*

The Aroma Cafe's Magick Forest!

what exactly are you going to do to it? Make the hive never get bulldozed?

[Y2K] Hm. Wasn't Link there?