h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It has been noted that the moment of perfection produces a distinct noise. Researchers are hoping to exactly define this noise, with an eventual goal of detecting objects as they attain perfection.
Attempts to measure the Perfection Incursion Sonic Giveaway (PING) have been stepped up recently by perfectionists* - and they fully expect to release their findings as soon as they've chosen the best font to use for the report.

*perfectionist: (n) One who studies perfection.

Interested parties should note that perusal of this report will be tricky - once the perfect font, layout & file format has been arrived at, and of course the perfect content decided upon, the report will naturally vanish...

Capt Spin's observation (imperfect though it may be) leads one to believe that "virtual perfection" is perhaps the nearest we shall get to "pure perfection". Not only is it visible in all it's imperfection but it has the added advantage of being extremely "nineties." As the Captain knows only too well, there are two different kinds of "perfect." His, and mine.

I think my sex life has now attained perfection. At first I thought I was just..well different, but now I know I'm perfect in all matters concerning sex. Strange isn't it. You thought you might have had it but can't remember. Now I know why, the moment just slipped into something silky and slid away.

In my perfessional Psycological opinion. The belief that oneself to be sexually perfect suggests either impotency, sterility,
sexual death*, or compleate lying through the teeth-ness.

Besides it's me

*sexual death: Death of the sexual areas of the brain (usually turns the person into what is known as a 'sleazemonger' (e.g. hey darlin' wanna see a sexually prfect person, you just found him etc)

I prefer the perfect chat-up line, "Hey, doll, you don't sweat much for a fat lass."
(NB don't actually use this on a fat lass).