h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hypatia surveys the large diplomatic office, deciding that it is ready to open to the other members of the legation to the Kingdom of 2Legs. The delay in the delivery of the furniture has resulted in a week passing from the time of the investiture, but it was important to the new ambassador to surround herself with familiar objects.

The furniture was all painstakingly built from trees harvested in her beloved Ozarks. Black walnut predominates, but inlays of hickory and pecan are also visible. An oversized desk occupies the southwest quadrant of the room. In spite of the newness of this mission, it is already showing signs of clutter. It is Hypatia’s desk, after all. Her comfortable leather executive chair is sitting unused in the corner, replaced by a simple wooden captain’s chair that is much easier for the injured ambassador to exit.

On the wall behind the desk is a rather battered-looking table built by No 1 son years ago in woodshop. No one was ever able to determine exactly what to do with the table. It is too small for a dining table, too tall for an occasional table, too wide for a sofa table. The table holds several photos, a bud vase with a single red rose, several rolled maps and a walnut bowl filled with wild blackberry taffy.

The southeast quadrant of the room is somewhat overwhelmed by a gigantic cabinet with three pairs of full length doors. This cabinet will hold the gifts being collected for King 2Legs. When opened, the scent of cedar permeates the room. The first section is filled with adjustable shelves, the second with drawers of varying widths and depths and the third is divided into two large open sections suitable for hanging robes and gowns. This cabinet has been fitted with two sets of locks – one traditional key locks and the other electronic locks with password protection. A sophisticated alarm system is in place courtesy of CLI.

The northeast quadrant contains comfortable lounge furniture upholstered in soft leather the color of ripe bittersweet berries. And the northwest quadrant holds a walnut conference table and chairs, large enough to accommodate the entire diplomatic party.

The library’s research facilities and computer lab are a few steps away, making it unnecessary to reproduce them here.

Just outside the office, is the rift portal. For several months Eleven has been busy installing monitors in various locations throughout the rift. It is important to keep abreast of activities within the rift and to secure the portal from entry by unwanted ‘guests’.

The rift is mentioned now because the only bar in the Atelier is housed in the rift gallery. Besides being a full wet bar, it also has a small, well stocked kitchen. It is conveniently close to the diplomatic office and members of the legation are encouraged to keep their beverages either in the gallery or the office itself. Food and drinks are not to be taken into the library proper. And under absolutely no circumstances is any member of the delegation to attempt to enter the rift.

Hypatia places a clipboard and a pen for salonistas to register for the mission on the corner of her desk then walks to the door and swings it open.

*David flies in, admires the furniture, wonders whether pecan wood tastes like pecan pie, and hopes that the bots don't see him as a security risk*

*floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

Marv, David... *nods*

*steps up to the clipboard, takes pen and writes 'Titania, Queen of Elves'*

*helps herself to a piece of wild blackberry taffy on her way to the gigantic cabinet*

*tries to open one of the doors, finds it's locked*

*tries the other two doors as well, same thing*

Would anyone happen to have the key for this cabinet? I want to put this platinum self-refilling cigarette case somewhere safe...

Titania, could you sign me in as well? Writing is so very tricky with wings. I have to hold the pen in my beak, and my beakwriting isn't very neat, I'm afraid...

*Enters with a pile of olive and fuchsia argyle socks for the use of diplomatic envoys*

Where do I put these?

*returns to the clipboard, still munching on the taffy*

Let's see... David B - which title would you like to use? I seem to remember you being the Dewey Demon...

Hmm, the Dewey Demon might sound a bit aggressive for a diplomatic party, so perhaps just 'David B, Librarian Owl' would be best.

Thank you.

Ag, the gifts go over there *indicates the cabinet with his wing* but we don't know how to open the doors.

*stands there, arms full of knitting, awaiting further developments*

*enters, admires the office and makes a note to herself to update the floor plan of the atelier*

Hypatia must have a system for signing the gifts in so that she can give King 2Legs a list.

*enters carrying a large walnut tray with a Fiestaware tea pot, sugar, creamer, several cups and saucers and a plate of chocolate chop cookies made with blck walnut pieces"

This isn't as elegant as the samovar, but it is in keeping with the ambssadorial persona. Funny, isn't it, how tea seems to taste better out of a samovar. Oh well, as my dear grandmother always said, "We are who we are."

*places the tea try on the coffee table and hobbles to her desk where she opens the center drawer and removes a leather-bound diary and makes an entry*

Gifts for King 2Legs:
Platinum, self-refilling cigarette case from Titania, Queen of Elves

Lovely, Titania. *takes the cigarette case to the cedar-lined cabinet, carefully unlocks the center section and places the valuable piece into a small drawer*

Agapanthus, how did you know that argyle socks are very special to me? I may become all teary eyed.

*hugs the knitting tour guide then carries the socks to the cabinet, where she opens the left section and neatly stacks the socks on the shelf above the clothes rods.*

Come what may, our party will have warm, dry feet. Taking care of one's feet on a long journey is more important than many people realize.

http://www.asterlil.com/h2g2/aplanbig.htm has been updated to show the Diplomatic Office. Hypatia, you now have a suite of three rooms that look out over the grounds and the atrium, with easy access to the guest rooms for visiting legations. I also widened the east-west hallway for use as a grand entrance by aforesaid visiting legations.

One of the rooms is intended as a secure room, and it will give you access to the other areas you mentioned. I hope this all is more or less what you had in mind.

The suite of rooms is very generous, Lil, and excellently placed. Thank you. It will save me many steps, which at this time is important.

I notice from my previous post that the vowels on my keyboard are playing tricks again. I will speak to Sir Marv about that.

I believe I'll have a chocolate chop cookie. That is not a typo by the way. They are made with chocolate chunks rather than chips. They were named 'chocolate chops' by my nephew many years ago.

*David suddenly remembers one of the main points of his visit. He opens his satchel via its beak-friendly catch and extracts his gift, the Bookamatic, to hand to Hypatia. As it can fit in his satchel, the Bookamatic isn't huge, and can only cope with regular-sized novels*

*arrives in olive-green combat fatigues* her dragonFLYbot, in it's leather case, is slung over her shoulder* she carries a small laptop in one of her other claws*

I'll just sit over here and w*rk while I wait for the rat . If I don't seem to be around, assume I'm in Styx's backpack. I may not be much use for the next few days because I have a deliverable to deliverate.

*signs in on her way to a large squidgy chair*

David, does the Bookamatic read the books to 2Legs? What an excellent and thoughtful gift.

*goes out to the bar and fixes Amy a G&T with lots of ice.*

Amy, don't worry about your schedule. Whereas we are all anxious to be underway, we also want everything to be done with taste and forethought. We are not yet ready to depart.

It's much better than that, Hyp. Book 'readers' are excellent, but also fairly readily available. It does read the book, but it also creates the sights, sounds and scents of the book, exactly as the reader would wish them to be imagined. It's an experimental model, but has coped with both Thomas Hardy and Dan Brown in test runs.

*patiently levers the ice from her drink into the nearest plant pot*

Thanks, Hyp.

*looking out the window of the reception room* What sort of plantings would you recommend for the atrium, Hypatia? All we have now are the trees.

.....although feeling a little out of depth in a diplomatic office, I enter none the less, in a slighly nervouse manner, bowing far too much, and stand in front of desk.
.
.....although not able to join diplomatic mission , due to possibly being in that strange and dusty land of Tunisa, I would like you to consider this peace sword of ornate gold, jewels and the finest quality tempered steel, for your collection of presents for King 2 Legs.
....just one swipe of the peace sword would even make a frenchman like english food, yes it's that good!
.....sorry Ambassador Hyp that you are having trouble with your 'vowels', I often do after consuming too much food.....