h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome to the atelier! If this is your first visit, please take a moment to look at A304354 , our home page, and find out a litttle bit about our salon and other rooms and labs and pets and all. There's a link that will also take you to some illustrations, more backstory and even a floor plan.

Step forward, Teuchter, and receive your award for scribing the past conversation! *Chloe holds out a plumed pen whose feather is dyed a deep gold. The base is faceted Swarovski crystal with a map of Scotland etched onto the top surface* She has made an effort to be as inclusive as possible in her recording and has done a super first-time job. She mentions the interesting statistic that there were 35 different contributors to our most recent conversation.

B wins our special occasional award for best quotes, there being two recorded by the scribe. *Chloe steps up holding a bamboo scroll on which are penned two quotations: "Must not make sex noises at work" and 'You expect coherence from a woman with chocolate in her hand?!"

Tartaronne receives the Golden Log for making up huge amounts of backlog after having been preoccupied with work. *Chloe hands over a gilded piece of Magic Oak*

The B4IWake Last-to-the-Forum Honorary Cattleprod goes to Wolfgang this week. It was a heated race, as Teuchter described it: Penny whistle made an appearance in Post 106 - but was saved from this indignity by daSilva who appeared at 118. He, in turn was saved by KerrAvon at 133. We then had domino-effect cattle prod salvation when B4 arrived at 135, followed by Rosemary at 209, Ormondroyd at 220, and Wolfgang at 354. Bryce was last of all but appears so rarely that I decided to eliminate him. This is an award for regulars!

We also have some new prizes. First, the Poor Impulse Control Award, for KerrAvon, who proved unable to resist making a chauvinist remark early on in the conversation. *Chloe hands over a nerf club with a rubber thorn sticking out near the business end, all sprayed to look like wood* And then we have two recipients for the Blatant Backlog Skiver Prize, KerrAvon and the Iron Maiden. Oh, you may skip backlog... but boast about it? *Chloe hands each recipient a cross section of a log with the middle excised, nicely sanded and varnished*

There was a newcomer, Icecoldalex, but he seems to be having trouble braving the backlog. Come back, alex! Bryce and sea made appearances and we worried about Titania and dave, who seemed to go away for an inordinate length of time.

And now I present Teuchter's notes, minus the bits I poached in order to present awards.



LEITMOTIF OF THE CONVERSATION
Education, education, education

HEALTH MATTERS
Hypatia's F is giving cause for concern - Hyp opened a separate thread for discussion on this and has been appreciative of the support from fellow Salonistas.
Various Salonistas suffered from seasonal lurgies.

CELEBRATIONS
B got a new job - which involved being away from her own home during the week and was successful in her hunt for temporary accommodation in the Halifax area - and likes her land-lady.
Hati and Marv/GDZ had guide entries on the Front Page.
Kelli and J had a weekend holiday in the Cotwolds - wine, walking and mini-meets ensued. And only 1lb. was gained.
Rosemary felt she might be falling in love, essays permitting.
FG finished a course of therapy and has developed new stress-coping skills.
Thanksgiving was celebrated on the left side of the pond - with those of us on the right doing so vicariously. One of our famous group-hugs was proposed by Hypatia and Santragenius as a thanksgiving for the community that is Lil's Atelier.
And the Salon Thanksgiving Celebrations got underway with delicious donations of food and drinks - and the usual help from Matina.
Lil starts a new job in January - as part-time secretary to the Fort Stanton Commission.
Marv became an Uncle.
Rosemary celebrated her 19th Birthday.
Lil's aspiration to have plural, concurrent (?oxymoron from scribe) conversations running was realised.
Ag got her beautiful engagement ring back from the jewellers.
Marv was invited to attend an interview for a new job.

THE SCHOOL FROM HELL
Amy the Ant got a supply teaching job in the Bradford area. Salonistas were indignant and incredulous as Amy related the daily goings-on in this establishment. An HMI inspection was endured. Unwanted calculators were solicited.
Common consensus in the Salon was that the behaviour of the staff was almost as bad as that of the children.
We hope Amy's health holds out until the end of term - and implore her never to go there again.
Ensuing discussion on the State of Education on both sides of the Atlantic. Some schools still setting mock GCSE exams but others opting out of this.

OTHER EDUCATION MATTERS
Solnushka expressed concern about some of her students who didn't seem to be working as hard as they might.
Ben started an OU mini course on writing and posted one of her poetry exercises in the salon. We also enjoyed her Ballad of Online Chat.
Teuchter attended an Oral Health conference in Edinburgh and met up with her daughter.
MR became almost overwhelmed by grading of students' work.
Z attended a Sex Conference and also taught Third Years. Studying for Medicine Finals became easier when conducted at a friend's flat - though reputations of involved parties may have come under scrutiny. A bursary was paid and a lucky scarab was loaned.
Dyslexia, dyspraxia and dysgraphia were discussed.
B4 is still working hard on nuclear studies.
Hati worried about how she was going to be able to provide skis for her children who have compulsory ski-ing at school.

CHRISTMAS
Discussions around types of decoration and when to display them took place. Later, we got onto the subjects of presents and cards.

FAMILY MATTERS
MR's daughter, D, was diagnosed as ADHD and discussion flowed on the topic of using strong drugs to treat ADHD. Later, D won a prize in a class competition that required lots of focus and concentration and reduced her Mum to happy tears by protracted and concentrated reading.
Salonistas queued-up to enjoy the spectacle of the Army lawyer, wearing full dress uniform and escorted by two regular soldiers in fatigues, marching into school to demand repayment of the testing fees.
Agapanthus' mother is making a determined take-over bid for the wedding plans - Salonistas exhorted Ag to stand firm and have the wedding she wants. Ag has forgiven her parent sufficiently to get involved with the organisation of Mum's seminar on osteoporosis.
Santragenius worried about his Father-in-Law who is recuperating from serious illness and still having some problems.

FELINE MATTERS
d'Elaphant, Zeppo and Jersey Gummo acquired three new housemates. We were entertained by d'Elaphant's accounts of his endeavours to make these shy felines feel welcome and at home and Salonistas chipped in with advice gleaned from personal
experience of dealing with such reluctant visitors.
Hypatia's two cats and dog gave her a well deserved and therapeutic laugh when there was a stramash involving one of them entangling herself in a plastic bag.
Caerwynn's Cassie continues to bring mice into the house - one of whom seems currently to be residing under the larder unit.
Marv's Jupiter is settling in nicely and making himself at home on top of computers, desks and anything else Marv wants to use.

ARTISTIC MATTERS
Giclee prints were discussed and explained, courtesy of ltp who supplied an excellent link.
Lil was inspired by frost to take her camera outside.

FAECAL MATTERS (ie shi**y stuff landing on Salonistas)
GDZ dealt with impending lay-off at work and finally got his redundancy package advised to him. The news that he's only eligible for food-stamps whilst actually in work seemed daftly illogical to the rest of us.
Freddie went retrograde again - and will be causing angst, software misbehaviour, cut fingers, general disruption, blocked drains, malfunctioning boilers and cleaning frenzies until the 20th December.
Witty Moniker seems, so far, impervious to the Freddie Effect - having successfully taken delivery of new furniture in two deliveries which happened within minutes of each other.
(Lil made a generous offer, to Salonistas only, to draw up individual astrological charts.)
Lil's realtor demonstrated dubious ethics by failing to market her property because they wanted to buy it themselves and then, months later, denied having been interested in the first place.
Caerwynn's H is suffering at work because of unreasonable behaviour by his boss. Being stuck in a traffic jam for five hours didn't make H's week any easier.

OTHER MATTERS
Marv went to a Green Day concert and was amused to see illuminated mobile phones being held at arm's length during the ballads - rather than lighters.
TIM got himself a temporary job at Royal Mail and also had some driving lessons.
There was snow - on both sides of The Pond. Marv was responsible for some of it.
Drinks were imbibed and hangovers were hung.
Ben and ltp debated the delights of dealing with British Gas - who are keen to bill you for power they haven't actually got a contract to provide.
Trees featured - stumps which needed grinded (?ground) and roots which invaded drains.
People's pens went missing - while wire hangers seemed to breed, unbridled, quite possibly from missing socks.
Pratchetts and other books were enjoyed and discussed.
Shoulder rubs, both welcome and unsolicited, were discussed. (Why did I read 'neck-rubbers' as rubber-neckers'?)
Ormondroyd played Demetrius in Midsummer Night's Dream.
Kelli was invited to do photo-shoots for two publications, following her involvement in a tv programme.
ltp brought to our attention the possible demise of Get Writing and it was agreed that, in addition to signing the petition, hand written letters to the Beeb would be useful.
Caerwynn and Teuchter had one of their periodic mini-meets at Wisley Gardens.
FG heard a voice from the past when an old high school friend got in touch.
Phil is still working on the move to the new building and, separately, had a mini-meet with MC and other researchers.
There was a discussion on welfare rights matters and opposing views were exchanged in civilised fashion, upholding the traditions of the Atelier.

DOMESTIC MATTERS
Kelli spent time readying the garden for winter. Inside, paint was chosen for the bathroom - not an easy task colour-matching to avocado. She also found time to post a recipe for Chrishtmash Cake. A canine acquisition is being considered.
B4 has been decorating, DIY-ing and mending in his new abode.
Ag is still dealing with Mr Mouse and his assorted relations and also coping with a dysfunctional boiler and recalcitrant boiler-mending people.
Marv is also dealing with mice - and what seems to be a Packrat.
Lentilla admitted to an interesting method of coping with cluttered kitchens and sinks - place all items in a garbage bag and hide this in the shed. We liked this style of domestic management.

CULINARY MATTERS
Comme d'habitude - we discussed food, recipes and food canning - a new cookery page was inaugerated. The Hitchhiker's Cookbook: A3359973
Best recipe title so far Ag's 'Cuddly Rice Pudding For When The Entire World Is Being Bl***y' - the ultimate comfort food?

GLOBAL MATTERS
Concern was expressed for Sudanese and Ukranian people.

OFF-SITE MATTERS
FG's link to Whackyourboss was enjoyed.
We got to Post 895 without a quiz - then someone provided one to assess your millionaire potential. The Salonistas would seem to be unlikely to make a million. We also took part in a spelling quiz.



And now, while we have been assembled here for the reading, our housebots have cleaned the salon and placed the Christmas tree in a corner where we can admire it without having to actually leave our comfy chairs. We will be contributing decorations and exchanging gifts as the holiday season comes upon us. There is glög, eggnog, kahlua, Matina's famous Blue Powder Punch, and all manner of refreshment. Make yourselves at home.

Hmm... I think that I've got some backlog to be catching up with

i have' nt real life now there a bit

*Matina brings Greydesk an irish coffee in a FTTF mug, then goes back to the kitchen, shaking her head*

Assuming the count at 73Xth remains stable from this moment on, the backlog stands at 282 posts. A mere bagatelle

Oh, and thanks for the coffee and mug

Hi

GreyDesk, I think you're a mighty daring Salonista - getting the mug and then boasting about missing backlog - after Lil's prize giving in teh resume.....

He probably hasn't read that either.

I did ,conspirace, i shall now sulk

Goddamnit! No mug for me! But the new prize is cool (stashes it with the cattleprod)

It's been a bit of a while, don't mind if I blab to y'all...

Things have been interesting lately. I'm loving my driving lessons, burning round a steady 25mph or thereabouts most of the time. Seeing a lot of the city I've never seen before yikes! Got into 4th and hit 40 on the main road today, w00t. Love it.

The novelty of the Royal Mail has worn off and I'm rather bored. Thank god it's only temporary, I don't think I could stick it without getting a bit irratable. This is considering the great shifts, frequent breaks, good people in general, great pay and even good food! At the end of the day I'd much rather sit on my ass playing San Andreas. Brown bread

Looking like I can assemble a new band. Had a jam a few days back which resulted in the demolition of the drummer's kit. That guy's amazing. He's one of my best mates, only been playing for five months and he's destroyed one kit already, and his current one is just about holding out from the battering it's taken. I am still bonded by blood with my bass, so all we need to do now is get our singer to cut his tongue out or something

I appear to have accidentally fallen madly in love with one of my mates too. Dear me Steadily over the past few weeks, very strong feelings for the last week or two. Blew a chance with her last summer, though she did fancy one of my best mates that time. No such trouble now, a clean start, lots of advice from friends, a clear plan of action and a bloody-minded determination that she WILL be mine! meeting up with her on Friday. By Saturday I should know whether she will be mine or not. I feel confident, but my track record doesn't back up my optimism We shall see...

Reply or die!

Just checked on the cusp of going home then or I'd have missed this for a while!

Um. Two prizes, neither of which one should boast about .

Is it technically possible for me to be a chauvinist though?

Chauvinism is as chauvinism does .

Mike, your band that never quite forms, never quite stays together, is even more entertaining than Spinal Tap!

Great scribing Teuchter

Have I made it on to the first LED? Just back from the vee eee tee, both pups took the jabs in their stride and were pronounced healthy, although Edina has a very slight heart murmur *worries* The vee eee tee said that this was fairly common in little dogs and was often gone by the time their second jabs were done in a few weeks. Even if it doesn't go away it may not make any difference to her life, but we'll need to keep an eye on her. Am quite glad I took out pet insurance yesterday, before I knew about her possible problem, as any treatment she may need should be covered by it and wouldn't have been if I had done things the other way around.

k

Oooh, lovely tree! Look, I've found some glass icicles that we always used to hang on ours - they're about six inches long and look just like real icicles. Shall I hang a few on the Salon tree too?

I felt a bit better, so I went and did some shopping and found a present for S! Hurrah! I shan't say incase he's following me about in his invisible lurking cloud - he ususally doesn't, but he might be having a slow day at work and you never know.

Hideous embarrassing moment of the week (and a little too much information, sorry, but I need to share or I'll burst). I was queueing in the supermarket with my basket. Behind me was a woman with her little boy, aged about six I think. He was at a good height to have a really good peer into my basket, which contained in among the cauliflower and satsumas, a large bar of chocolate and a box of, umm, personal lady thingies as my Dad calls them. The little lad turned to his mum and whispered in that special penetrating whisper only small children and grandparents seem to master 'That lady's going to be grumpy tomorrow too, Mummy!'. And guess what was also in Mummy's basket? We both went puce to the roots of our hair and then caught each other's eye and luckily we both burst out laughing. Little lad looked extremely pleased with himself, the little imp.

So, what is your plan of action for romance TIM?

::instigates a round of applause and "Bravas!" for Teuchter's scribing efforts::

Great scribing!
[Hati]

*murmurs, my manners, my manners - a for my manners - or at least Danish incoherent words to that effect*

The scribing - yes, indeed, very well done. I 'd the "and hangover were hung" one. Guess I might borrow that to the extent of calling it my own on Saturday....

Well done on the scribing.

"Bryce was last of all but appears so rarely that I decided to eliminate him."

Lil isn't that a just a tad extreme? just for being late

[BB]