h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome to the Atelier, an epicenter of fine discussion and stellar intellect! If you haven't been here before, please take a few moments to visit this forum's home page at A304354, and learn about our ways. You might also check the link on that page, which will take you to a floor plan -- always nice to know which way you're oriented -- and some backstory.


The more I look over our conversations, the more I notice that they are shaped much like the dinosaur theories of John Cleese's female-impersonation of a paleontology professor: They are very big in the middle and rather thin at both ends. First people drift in, review the introduction, get drinks and so forth. Then real discussion ensures. And then, somewhere in the 900's, people become restive, furtively check their watches, look around to see whether Chloe has begun cleaning up... But if nothing happens by the thousandth post, we get what stock market analysts call the "dead cat bounce" -- chat picks up again.

But I digress.


New members: welcome to dottyfix and Agapanthus! dottyfix is out there in the backlog, somewhere.
ltp returns! -- and gets the lowest score on the punctuation quiz


AWARDS

We have no scribe this time, so I append a rough outline of events of the previous conversation, but what we DO have is a large number of Special Awards.

Most Useful Tool Award to Egon: a way of accessing information such as editorials that we share from time to time, without actually having to register at the site. The utility is http://www.bugmenot.com/ -- type in the URL of any site you need an account to access and it will give you some registered account details to get in with. *Chloe hands Egon a Gilded Can Opener*

Least Useful Tool Award goes to B4, for proposing a Last-to-the-Forum Cattle Prod. If we ever were to consider such a thing, it would have been administered to Wolfgang, who showed up at post #253. *Chloe gives B4 a Decommissioned Gilded Cattle Prod*

Witty Moniker announced with great insouciance that she makes her tea in the microwave. Oh the humanity, the humanity! Nonetheless, for the terrific discussion about tea that followed, we award her the bottle of port for best topic, jointly with Ben, who initially threw petrol on the flames with her question about electric kettles in the US. There was also a related defensive discussion about coffees and coffee making.

Most scientific post goes to dave (at #661) for explaining the process by which acid dissolves lime. *Chloe produces a small, hand-carved periodic table made from birds-eye maple, suitable for use as a coaster*

Teuchter gets the Gilded Log for consuming over 800 posts of backlog on her return from hols in Portugal.



Quizzes:
When are you most tired?
Not a formal quiz, more a referral from Amy, who couldn't decipher a photo purporting to be the cast of a 70's sitcom. Much reminiscing ensues, amongst the wild guesses which feature Lorne Greene, Forrest Tucker, Mark Slade... And in the end it turned out to be Hill Street Blues. NOT a sitcom, I tell you!
Pirates (reprise)
Dead or Alive? This quiz was abandoned due to all the ad-fleas it caused.
punctuation quiz
what's your ideal job?
A personality test discovered by Marv



Odd discussion topics:
body lotion
rosé wine
worst clothing purchase (fortunately no prizes were awarded), and loon pants
foxiest clothes ever
the Prince Albert
The PX
best song covers (renditions by subsequent artists)
Where's Mike?
hominy recipes
London Broil
Grilling, broiling and barbequing (watch for Hypatia's article)
modems and routers (but we ~always~ talk about those)
electric kettles
de-scaling the faucet
turkey fryers
Bad TV Ads (starring Grinning Bob)
deely-boppers
high school reunions
Ikea
knees
eggplant


What We Did and Said:

Z passed his exams
The passing of "Just Now" was mourned
Fahrenheit 9/11 generated plenty of discussion at different points in the conversation, both as to content and as to the objectivity of Michael Moore and US News reporting generally.
Having endured proximate fires, Lil now gets flooded and produces a photo containing an 'orb'.
Marv has a housewarming party, with pictures.
Coely hires out her daughter for odd jobs when not dope-slapping her for stray piercings -- this generates discussion about our own teen behaviors.
Z went to see Elton John.
Lil completes jury duty.
Sporky takes his leave, with all our best wishes.
Marv passes another certification, Nortel Networks Certified Support Specialist- Alteon. He is now Archbishop Marv the Grate, CCNA, CSPFF, NNCSS.
B4 starts a collection of futuristic-themed rock songs.
Ben comes to the end of her job, and spends a good portion of the conversation redecorating the bathroom, only to have water come pouring through the ceiling from upstairs.
Titania starts 4 weeks of vacation.
The London meet happens.
Amy runs for Sport Relief and collects 60 quid!
Egon wins "The Man in the Basement" by Walter Mosely as a prize on the Collective, but never mentions how he earned it.
Witty tracks her daughter in Italy via the net.
Caerwynn has a birthday, same as that of the USA
Z inherits three old tortoises.
MR's ex goes to Iraq.
Hypatia has a new nemesis besides the smellfungus -- a food prep Nazi!
Having endured Egon's youth taunts during the 70's program question, we then learn that Z considers Monty Python to be before his time!
But we get to explain to him what douche products are.
Kelli runs into bureaucratic contradictions when trying to adopt some dogs.
d'E goes on holiday to the beach.
Hati returns from her hols.
B4 looks forward to promotion and protracted training at his newly-housecleaned nuclear power plant, to the post of Assistant Equipment Operator .
Bald Bloke posts meet photos, but without any names.
We learn, apropos of his bathroom ceiling falling in, the 6'8" Egon was once a unicyclist.
We wonder what avatar would suit us best.
Sol's SO finds a job.
dave wonders how to solve the problem of his mailbox being sabotaged and receives some very shocking suggestions.
Assorted illness attack various salonistas and GDZ has motherboard problems.
And then we started talking about train schedules and trains! It's true. Train schedules realle ARE a British national obsession.
dave finishes writing his paper and immediately wants to celebrate, so we launch a cookout on the terrace.

And that's where we are now, everyone. We're looking out over the garden while dave slaves over the grill and Matina supplies the drinks. Please join us!

through all those error messages.

Clean burgers! Clean Burgers!

*dave has finished grilling, and starts to distribute the charred meat, calorie free meat, cheese covered meat, and non meat patties*

MR, did you say hold the buns?

*dave gooses MR*

*Matina brings Hati a multi-colored drink in a tall glass with FTTF etched on the side and a little paper umbrella stuck in the top*

Wow! Isn't it cool!

*sips her drink wondering if she should actually consume it before or after the burger*

I was just in the last convo like 5 minutes ago!

*dave wipes soot off his hands, and accepts the coaster*

Thank you Lil & Matina! This is really nice.

*he pulls out a magnifying glass*

Wow, you even got the correct lattice constant for Europium! (4.61 Angstroms, for those who are curious) Thanks!

*dave puts away his magnifying glass, and starts grilling some hot dogs*

*blames her 'on vacation' mode for arriving late*

*Leaves, comes back dragging his beanbag*

I think that I need darker lenses on my sunglasses. The sun is really hurting my eyes of late.

Oh dear, I see backlog

The last thread is saying 1,169 unread posts, and I've no time to tackle it until the weekend


* fades away into the distance *

It is mean when I thought I only had 40 odd posts to read to discover clean cups mean that it is nearer 50!

Been painting Rainbow's new house with her and two of her four teenage boys and am absolutely shatterd. At least there was only one of the Stepson!

I have to say that painting without preparation is new to me, and very much faster than the anally retentive fill-and-sand and fill-and-sand cycle I go through!

B

*runs in with her deckchair and a half-eaten burger*

The new forum caught me by surprise. I was busy looking up 'axe murderer' on Google . Don't ask. It's amazing what you can learn sometimes.

[GDZ]

*Walks out onto the terrace wearing a light safari jacket and panama hat. Shame this clashes with the jeans and t-shirt but hey when has style EVER been my forte!*

I'll have a whatever is cooked please!
So why are you looking up "axe murderer" on Google Amy, is there something we should know?
Me, I've been busy trying to learn visio to build up a set of network diagrams for the new building they're putting up at work we'll get into next year, thanks for asking
That and trying to get into a set of online wedding lists for a good friend who I got the invite to the bash this morning.

*sits in the comfortable wicker chair by the doors with one of MR's beers*

Z rushes in with a half eaten none - burger.

Last one for a while I was watching 'Your are what you eat' on channel four where she put a family of four on a practially vegan diet just because it was healthy.It looked really nice as well. I'd better give it another go.

It was music to my ears when she suggested bean burgers as a healthy alternative to meat!

*grabs a cheeseburger and a wine cooler and finds a quiet corner*

*Steps onto to the terrace, chagrined to find the words Witty, tea and microwave all in the same sentence. *

I will never live this down, will I? Ah well, I'll drown myself in the port, then, but after the cookout.

I'll have a cheeseburger, please.

Witty, any sins with tea are herby abrogated by me due to your taste in Coffee .

*moves her patio chair into the new thread*

Hypatia, have you made bread yet using Splenda? It occured to me whilst making today's loaf that yeast needs sugar to grow and do its thing.

*admires the various awards on the table*