h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Unleashes team of anarchistic supporters*

Go, my litttle wrathchildren! Destroy this building! Graffiti it! And finish it off with "Peregrin wuz here"!!!

*Katsy sprays "The Kat was 'ere 2000"*

*Lisa throws a brick at the front window which instantly smashes, spreading small pieces of glass all over the floor, ahhahahahahaha*'

*Refrains from spitting as that's a direct breach of the terms and conditions*

*Replaces jukebox music with Nirvana, NOFX, Pearl Jam, and Smashing Pumpkins*

*Steals all the pasta*

*gets out another CD player and stuffs on some Skandal music, even though that is quite probably illegal since the CD isn't on general sale yet*

How's that for ya!!!!

Sorry, but to keep in the mood....

*Kicks CD player as hard as he can*

*Covers stove in gasoline, lights it, and runs!*

*throws a large stink-bomb into the kitchen*

ANYONE WHO HATES SKANDAL DESERVES TO BE HATED BY MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE YOU ALL!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*He comes running out of the building, as a giant green underpants-gnome (that happens to live in the walls of the building) chases him down the street*

Don't take my underwear! Please!!!!!

*Sprays paint into the eyes of the gnome*

HAHAHA! That got him! Yay!

*Kicks Korn-Ball*

That gnome was supposed to steal the other candidates' underpants!

*Sprays "Peregrin rocks da house" on wall so as to direct attention away from self when authorities show up*

*Thinks to himself*

Wait a minute, I never went into the building, so this is a dream???

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!? NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm scared....

*Shivering, laying on the sidewalk*

...I see living people...

*Runs off to get guitar*

*Smashes guitar on tables*

*Screams*

Down with corporate violation of human rights!

*Tells everyone to scurry!*

Proprietor walks in. Wow this reminds me of teh Mellow Yellow Soup Kitchen on Richmond Road, Kingston. Maybe it could have done with the chance of decor. But Peregrin would never have said da. I wonder who could have done this?

What's that Cheesy smell?

*Falls from chandelier*

Shoot.

*Minions: continue anarchy!*

*returns to kitchen being careful to lock bullet proof door behind him*

Come on guys! We can kick down this door!

*Kicking, kicking, and more kicking at the door*

Sign on door says

*You think your hard enough to kick down 2 foot of Kevlar go ahead punks make my day*

*Spray paints sign, walks out, and sits on sidewalk weeping*

See? Even punks are sensitive . That wrecks my day.

Come on guys. Lets go to the Anarchist Nervecentre or something.

Not ... necessarily

*with an evil grin on her face, Lisa takes a skeleton key out of her pocket and cackles, like the witch that she is*