h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One thing I have never seen anyway when a gay/bi/lesbian web page is set up is - Straight men (&woman?) with gay friends.

Now I know this might sound a little strange, but I really feel it is an area that gets left out. There is no forum anyway I have found for this.

Of course as a straight (as far as I have only had sex with women) man with at least two very close friends (one since we were at school together); we do not have to suffer the same attacks, etc. But as we mainly mix in straight male company (at least at work, personally I try to mix only with females outside and no not for sexual relationships), we do get the 'guilty by association' label.

Anyway, thought I'd empty my handbag on the stage!

/Shaun

I go to a boys only school and I know many people who are either bi or gay. I myself am not gay but that doesn't mean I can't be very good friends with gay people.

I hope did say anything that made you think you could not be good friends with someone who is bi or gay.

I know what you mean about being the friend of someone who isn't straight. It poses some dilemas.
eg When telling anecdote about friends, who don't know and aren't connected to the people you're telling the tale to, do you bother to change genders to fit conventional expectations? How do you tread the line between outing people and being overly secretive. ie if you're with a friend and you bump into another friend with their partner do you introduce them as a couple or just leave it?
I know there are no easy answers, and I don't even claim they're difficult questions, but it isn't something that there ever seems to be a bulletin board for and it doesn't seem to come up in many conversations. Maybe we should start one here, what do you think?

I think starting something here on h2g2 would a great start. I shall try and get around to writing an article soon and ask to see if it can be included in the M2M2 section.

As far as what to say to others, I find it deppens on if you know the person you are telling the story to is anti-gay.

If not then I would normally just tell them the truth. I do feel guilty when I do not tell the truth, like I betraying my friend(s), but sometimes I think it is better not to get into an arguement with someone you know is just going to say "you are wrong, I am right". Neither of you is going to change the other, so don't bother.

I am also thinking of writing something on Gay icons effect on the straight world! People like Madonna, Ru Paul, Boy George. Should be fun.

Putting something in the M2M2 section sounds like a good idea. I'm sure Tony wouldn't mind including it if it's of concern to the lesbigay world.

The problem with not lying is complicated further when you are in the closet to the people that you are telling the story to and don't wish to deal with them beginning to open their eyes about the circles in which you move until you're ready to deal with the consequences. So you end up keeping secrets carefully which really in themselves aren't a big deal but together would form a pattern.

Gay icons - don't know much about that so an article would be good.

I think both the straight-to-gay etiquette and the gay icons article would be marvelous additions. I'd be happy to help out in any way with either of them. Of course, I can't duplicate the perspective of a straight person so there's only so much I can do. Still, please let me know if you need anything and drop me a line if anything gets complete.

Good point on the straight freinds of gay people.

Fashion Cat would be a really good person to get involved with that for as well as me and sex_kitten she has other gay friends out IRL. All of them at various stages of 'outness'.

I know that the friends who know about be have been descreet in the past put now that I'm more fully out I waiting to see how that will change. But some sort of article on it would be helpful. After all we all have friends who are straight, so you guys are not alone in being straight with lesbigay friends.

*ping* Hiyas - just wanted to point out that the m2m2 entry "choosing a sexuality for dummies" is in Peer Review - at http://www.h2g2.com/F48874?thread=72411 - it's likely to be moved to the writing workshop soon - and all you happy people might be able to help get it to return to Peer Review in a new, more splendid form. Or, of course, tell me I'm an idiot, and it's perfectly ok for the guide already... ;-)

Re: The telling of anecdotes mentioned above; I don't change the genders when telling them, but have often thought it would be easier to do so, just in order to differentiate between the two participants. With he and she, you can at least tell them apart, whereas he and he just gets confusing.