h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I need a very large hangar to put a very large colony construction ship in. Can you help?

Any particular type of colony ship, out of curiousity?
You could probably fit it in my Heighliner, or Peregrin's Death Star if there's no room here...

I'm sorry if I didn't make myself clear. This is a factory ship for refining asteroid metal and making pieces of colonies. And it is big. /Very/ big. Colossal, in fact.

So, you mean you'd only be able to fit about seven or eight of them in the average heighliner - hmm... very interesting. A very impressive scale!

Hangar #16 is reserved for you!

*running from place to place around the station after a week's absence wondering where all the aid is when it's needed*

*sneaks in and hides in a corner*

Hello there... I was wondering... I have a ship which I would like to park somewhere, but unfortunately, it's rather big. Very big, in fact... (more to the point, the ship could be somewhere to park your space station)... it's bigger, even, than Krans's ship. It's a GSV, called the Incorrect Catachresis... I won't ask for a hanger, but is there any possibility of some sort of docking implement (enclosed gangway, etc) to which I can attach it when I'm not using it?...

An umbilical cord thingy?

That does sound big, Nian. You're not going to be interfering with our gravity or anything, are you. Because if that's the case, I'm going to have to re-hand my pictures on the wall.

Oops, I almost forgot!...
*gets box of cookies*

Krans, here's a welcoming present. I'm in the hangar next to yours. I was wondering who was going to use that huge hangar! As for me, little number 15 is just fine. I only have a ship big enough for my cats and a few guests. Much easier to handle.

Umbilical cord thingy, yes, that's the one. Btw, has anyone around here seen a GSV before? *smiles innocently*

Yes. Well, no. It has effectors on board which deal with that... and it has plenty of anti-g generators, don't worry... it has to have them, since different areas of the ship are configured to emulate different gravity areas, and even different atmospheres.

Ooh... you're giving Krans food? Can I have it? I'm sure he'd let me.. I mean... umm... he's a Windows NT user! he doesn't need cookies!

Don't worry... There's enough cookies for everyone!

...even brought a donut in case Greebo's around!

Aah, I see. *takes a cookie*

Oh, thankyou Redbeard... sorry, I only have facilities for donuts and hot chocolate in my lab... so that's all I brought...

There's plenty so you can all have some if you like... they're leftovers from the opening party

BTW, how do you open the hangar doors? I'm expecting the delivery of an E-200 EktaChrome, some power packs, a recharger unit, and a new tractor beam generator matrix for the factory ship.

Hang on a tic, Krans... *scuttles off*...

*A small grey spec appears in the space in front of Krans, which widens to a silvery-grey sphere about 2m in diameter... it then disappears with a "pop".. to reveal an E-200 EktaChrome, some power packs, a recharger unit, and a new tractor beam generator matrix for the factory ship. There's a small note on top which says "Compliments of Njan's GSV's 22nd Short-Range Displacer Unit"

Hey, I only invented that last week... pretty quick of you to install the Enstrecht Matter Transmission Nodes in such a short time... and I'm impressed by the Horstmann Quantum Efficiency rating... what settings did you use?... sorry, going a bit off topic here, let's go back to the lab and discuss it there.

You invented it last week? *chuckles*... we in the Culture have had such technology for many millenia. The average Culture displacer isn't as efficient as that, and hence it has about a once in a hundred million failure rate... I managed to tweak a bit, and although the mass of the displacer unit has nearly tripled, it's now a few million times more efficient, and thus safe, than normal. But well done working out the technology for yourself.

Grrrrr... I /hate/ bloody... okay, I won't use the language I was about to. However, I will point out that our rate of technological advancement is extremely rapid. I will have multi-trimensional displacement tesselation-effect generators by next week, with the ability to feed them Fermat elliptical equations by the week after...

Umm, my popularity might drop a bit around the Space centre if the verdict comes out wrong, so I'll take the liberty now of reserving a hangar for my runaround craft.
It's qute small, a two-seater actually, so it can be a small hangar. All i ask is that it has a refuelling port and a Coke vending machine.
It's currently on a mission to Zork, but I'd like to have the hangar ready when it gets back.

Hangar #17 for you, Chrome101... *runs back to the courthouse*

...I asked first! I didn't get a hanger! *sniff*...

Terrbily sorry... *hits herself with a shovel* I thought you didn't need one because they were too small... Here, have a key to hangar #18 - it's a lot bigger than the small #17 Chrome got - I'm sure you'll like that one!! And if you still find it too small, sure you can use it for docking...