h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You said, you got a warm beer....
That´s not usual, of course, like everywhere in Germany, beer has to be cold!
And, never try to get a Kölsch in Düsseldorf! Never!
By the way, when you order a Kölsch in Colongne, don´t worry if you get some yellow water in a small glas! That´s the beer, you can drink as much as you want to...you´ll never get drunken! It´s nothing more than coloured water! So better drink Alt Beer! Or, if you don´t like it -> Weizen! But no Kölsch!

It certainly is funny stuff, this Alt Beer. When I took the first sip of my first one, the thought crossing my mind was, "OK, so now we know why they keep the glasses that small..." which I think is just the standard reaction to this experience. However, during the last few months of AB drinking (I moved to Ddorf half a year ago, so where's the alternative? Giving up on beer? Ha!), I noticed a strange change... I actually started to like the stuff. I am considering seeing a therapist about it.
And talking of Weizen: I don't understand why this is the only kind of bavarian beer that is known and approved outside of Bavaria. There simply are things far more worth drinking than this syrupy so-called "liquid" slightly smelling of vomit. Should you ever have the chance to come across the beer they brew in Kulmbach, for example, lean back and enjoy!

Your posting seems to be bit from the past. There truly once was a time when it was definitely unhealthy to ask for a Kölsch in pub in Düsseldorf. (I'm not referring to the effect of the drink). Things relaxed a bit. Some pubs offer Kölsch (e.g. Schnabelewopski in Bolkerstrasse) and Alt Bier (e.g. "Füchschen" - beer from a small private brewery) is now available in Cologne, too.

I haven't had an Alt Bier in over 10 years (but I can get Bittburger).

Folks, I live in Düsseldorf for 4 yrs now, and I never learned to enjoy an Alt Beer. For me, it tastes like not finished yet. But the Weizen is as terrible! (I liked the description which called it vomit...) The best beer I ever had was Tartan Special, a Scottish beer in a lovely can. But no matter what you drink, have fun, right??? Oh, and about Kölsch: Why the hell are the glasses so unbelievably SMALL???
Hey, grendel, you should rather drink good old DAB, made with pride in Dortmund

Try Rothaus Tannenzaepfle

Considering beer i´m in a real mess: originally I´m fron krefeld, which is situated in the Alt Beer part of germany... we have gleumes, diebels and rhenania and i really like them all...
But my boyfriend is in cologne, where i´m really disriminated fopr beeing from Krefeld and for drinking Alt Beer..
As I would not give up drinking in cologne i started to drink Koelsch and i really like it (especially reisdorf)
But now my friends from Krefeld discriminate me for drinking Koelsch..
So I started to drink Guiness
The glasses in cologne are so small because they don´t want you to count them.. i tried it a lot of times but i got always lost at least at numer 10... In fact if u want to get drunk on koelsch you should not calculate in glasses, but in litres...this will help !
Have fun anyway ! P

Right, you cannot count the Kölsch you drink- you're pi..ed before you find out the correct number! In about two weeks I'll be in Scotland, cannot wait to get a pint of whatever Baird's Bar sells... YUPPY!!!

When in Dusseldorf you'll have to taste "Schumacher Alt".It is sold only in Dusseldorf and its suburbs and its the best (and most expensive) beer you can get there. You'll have to search a bit to find a pub which sells it. But it's worth searching for.