h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At my writing workshop, it's usual for everyone to submit at least 2,000 words of writing. Each month three people are invited to submit 5,000 words. I volunteered to submit 5,000 at the end of April and promptly regretted doing so.

I am coming up to the climax of my story and thought I knew what ought to happen. Steve goes off to stay with his friend Andre Ricaud, because he's fed up with his parents after Alison told him she was thinking of leaving. (I decided Alison had to tell Steve - partly because Steve is 16 and old enough to have his own ideas what he wants to do, and partly because relations between father and son have got bad enough for there to be potential for violence.) When he comes home, an argument breaks out between Steve and his Dad, during the course of which Steve blurts out that his Mum has another man. When Alison comes home, Brian confronts her with an accusation of infidelity and a row ensues, in which Brian hits Alison, she bangs her head against the freezer and is knocked out. Steve finds his Mum unconscious and phones for help.

That, I thought, would be enough drama to fill 5,000 words. But, when I tried to write it, I found it very difficult. My first scene, where Steve goes to the Ricaud's, is serviceable enough. But the scene where Brian rows with Steve simply developed too fast. The scene where Brian hits Alison amounts to a few hundred words of dialogue. The dynamics between the three people are obviously wrong. I need to slow the arguments down, build them up more gradually. Maybe Brian would brood over Steve's revelation that Alison has another man over several days, and only confront her when something else triggers the row.

But I've only got until next Saturday to finish this piece of writing. I'm beginning to panic!

Can you cut something else into the dialogue? A fast forward in time interspersion with one or more of the characters looking back at that scene and commenting?

Thank you for your comment.

In our course, we've talked about having more than one point of concentration. So you place a row between a couple against the background of a noisy pub, or in a school playground where children are shouting. It's surprising how many of my scenes feature people eating, or drinking, or preparing food!

Although I've got some back story, I haven't tried having people look back on a scene and commenting on it. I don't know whether that would work for a key scene.

But you're probably right in thinking that I need to build up the background - both physical things like furniture and clothes and emotional things like internal thought.

mvp! Five thousand words by Saturday? ... erm ... don't panic! You'll get there, I know you will, because you're a pro in these matters. I think it will all fall into place by 6.34 pm on Friday evening, that's my prediction.

I know a few writers who thrive on deadlines, despite the panic, as if the adrenaline somehow helps the plot to fall into place.

dear poetlady, and yes! I love this story, I'm a fan, and involved with these people, and await the completed masterpiece, confidently assuming I am going to get to read it. teehee

I wonder if Steve could say that Alison is thinking of leaving him but not say about the affair

This gets Brian to thinking about her leaving, where to and who with, the pieces click together and then he confirms his suspicisions for himself in someway.

This could be some of the build up, with his brewing away, then he corks when he finally confronts her with what he knows

I was thinking Brian might go looking for proof before confronting Alison anyway. In the meantime, any interactions between them get progressively more tense.

But it depends on whether you think the story is moving too quickly or the way you have written it. I'm thinking you think the latter, so y'know, that.

I am quite looking forward to this novel in its entirety.

Thanks cc, Peanut, Solnushka.

I think Brian might brood on all this for a few days, then some other incident - perhaps something quite minor - sparks off a row.
I suppose he could go to the restaurant and hang around, in the hope of intercepting one of the members of staff.

Either way, I suspect this is the first of a whole string of drafts.

Well, I've posted my piece of writing on the Creative Writing Programme website. It's 4334 words, which is enough to be going on with. (The 5000 words is a maximum rather than a rule.)

I slowed down the scene where Brian rows with Steve by weaving the dialogue in between descriptions of them getting a simple meal in Alison's absence. I'm still not sure if the row builds up enough to give Steve cause to blurt out the truth about his Mum's affair. But he is only sixteen and he's angry anyway.

I've extended the scene where Brian knocks down Alison by showing them trailing round a supermarket, arguing about wine, then having difficulty paying at the checkout. They're in the car park by the time Brian accuses Alison of having another man. Perhaps I've overdone this. Would he really hit her in a busy car park?

This is the problem with writing fiction. It's not the words - words are only tools. It's understanding people - who are things.

Well done MVP

I have been thinking about you today and your deadline, do you feel good now it is done? (Even though you might like to re-write things at a later date)

and more

probably shouldn't over do it on the it is hootoo party tomorrow and there is an infinite supply apparently

Well done, mvp!



Yes, it's the understanding of people that's the research, eh? That's interesting.



My mother used to be hilarious with people watching. Sitting in hotel lobbies with her was the funniest thing. She'd come up with the strangest ideas about who was who, and why, and what and when. And she would stare in such an unsubtle way. . I tried to get her to write a tragic yet gripping novel. I'm sure it would have been a best seller. .

Thank you for the congratulations!

I did feel euphoric for about half an hour, before I decided my piece was probably rather weak.

And yes, people watching is intriguing. What was this person's story? Why did he or she behave this way? What could happen next?

Did you ever play consequences? If so, you know the sort of thing: Napoleon meets Mother Theresa at Kings Cross Station. He says "I hate tapioca" and she says "It's a long way to Tipperary," and the consequence is that they get lost on the road to Kathmandu.

Good training for a writer!

What? Yes, I've played consequences, but the storylines never came out quite like that, , they were quite dull in comparison. .

My mother used to be convinced that in every gathering of people there was either a murder being planned, an illicit love affair going on, or someone was about to die (from natural causes) in the next ten minutes. She had an eye for the dramatic.