h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Several Chiss ships land. They easily take over the ship, and after this is done, a Royal Chiss Cruiser lands, flanked by two smaller starfighters. Out of the starfighter on the left comes a Chiss named Maisetoria, also called Setor.]

[Setor] I claim this city in the name of STUMPED.

*A small ship lands and GL jumps out. He runs over to Setor and pushes his face close to Setor's*

Oh yeah? Sez who?

[Setor] Sez me. [pushes GL back] And all my troopers.

[About thirty Chiss officers come out of the various ships and train their weapons on GL]

[A young Pokémon Trainer enters; he has five Poké Balls]

[Boy] Oh yeah? You and what army?? [looks around] Ah. THAT army.

[From the Poké Balls, he releases Mewtwo, Vekura, the MewOne twins, (Ketsar and Poxlu), and a Mew, and then turns into a Mew himself]

...Also arrives on the scene, having recruited a devoted band of fierce Mongolian warriors, on loan from the BBC costume department.

(Best I could get at such short notice)

You shall not have the Komi Republic!!

[Setor] Watch me.

[They start shooting]

[Mewtwo] }GAA! Shields up!{

[All six surround themselves with shields that deflect the bolts in random directions]

In go the Mongolian cavalry to take up the initial fire (sorry guys) while the heroes perform a valiant pincer move.

*At the first shot, GL turns into his wolf form and leaps at Lord B's throat.*

Really? You jumped all the way from Syktyvkar on Earth to the Unknown Regions of the galaxy? Ancba ain't here, GL. I think you meant to leap at Setor.

[Mewtwo attacks some of the Chiss with bolts of psychic energy]

[OOC] How far are we away from water?

I dunno. I picked this place at random.

Pretty far. We're right next to the Ural Mountains.

Inkwash presses a random button on the device he picked up at CHOPPER HQ.

---*

Ooops! Where's the controls on this thing?

Ooops. Sorry. I'm leaping at Setor's throat.


*Remains suspended in mid-leap*

[Setor steps out of the way and GL keeps going and crashes]

[Mewtwo fires a bolt of psychic energy straight at Setor]

Inkwash decides the device is truly of no use and stamps on it repeatedly.

-- -- ------ ***

Guess I'm better off using my own super gifts!

*GL changes back to human form, picks up one of Inkwashes 's and hurls it in Setor's face, temporarily blinding him. He then pushes Setor, who trips on the left by Inkwash.*