h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~Greebo fluffs the pillows... on the huge 102 person bed... She is wearing her pink P.J.'s... with the hole in just the right place so her tail can comfortably stick through...~

Hmmm... me wonder when everyone will arrive...

~She glances at the cat shaped clock on the wall...~

Hmmm... time for a glass of milk me thinks...

~Greebo gets off the bed... tis a huge bedroom... and opens the built in fridge and removes a glas of milk... nicely cooled... ~

Tum... te.. tum...

*Pops out of thin air and lands on Greebo's huge bed with a soft thud*

Wheeeee! *Bounces up and down, spilling Greebo's chilled milk*

Whoops! Sorry Greebs me old fruit! *Embarrassed grin* Allow me to clear that up...

Am I the first to arrive?

*Knocks at the door of Greebo's bedroom. She is wearing a long tee shirt with a puppy on it and pink fluffy slippers. She is carrying a heart-shaped pink plastic case.*

Hi Greebo! Hi Gwennie! I brought curlers, and mousse, and nail polish, and stuff to do make overs with.

*Regards Mari-Rae's pink, heart-shaped plastic case with suspicion*

I don't usually wear make-up coz I'm luverly enough without it.

*Gaffaws and sniggers can be heard from Greebo's side of the bed*

However, if this is custom and practice on such occasions, do proceed. Who's first? Would you like me to practice on yourself or shall we paint Greebo's nails?

*Realises that she's still sporting her day wear and decides to sneak off to change*

Won't be a minute!

*Pops back in wearing a pair of brushed cotton blue and white striped pajamas which are far too large for her and fluffy slipper socks. Greebo and Mari-Rae start to giggle*

They're my father's cast-offs! Well, it gets cold in the North East of England....

~Grin~... you both look gorgous... hmmm... do you think the men folk will come... me does so hope so...

*Gwennie and Mari-rae look at her with fake horror.*

Men?? We don't want any of those crashing our pyjama party!! They would see us in our jammies! Eeek!

*Turns to Gwennie and pops open her case.* Let's do you first, how about a mudpack? *She unscrews a jar and slathers lilac colored mud all over Gwennie's face.* You have to wait 20 minutes, then rinse it off. Your skin will feel baby soft afterwards! Go on both of you and dig in, you can use anything you want to in the case.

*Turns to Greebo.* Do you want your claws painted?

*sneaks door open*
*uses shaving foam hose to great effect*
*legs it*

*Gwennie tries to look cross at Baldrick, but the face mask is preventing movement of her facial muscles*

Greeeoooo! Heeeep! Ihinkisshuck! Arri-Raee! Ishit shoposhed to do jish?

(Rough translation = Greebo! Help! I think it's stuck! Mari-Rae! Is it supposed to do this?)

*Struggles to wipe shaving foam from her hair*

He isn't your kid brother by any chance, is he Greebo? *Goes into the attached bathroom and brings out lots of hot fluffy towels. Everything is swiftly cleaned up.*

Come on, Gwennie, time to rinse off that mudpack.

*They go into the bathroom together. Lots of splashing sounds are heard. Then a gasp.*

*Gwennie comes back into the bedroom. She looks just like Fergie, Duchess of York; except that her hair is long and dark instead of strawberry!!! Mari-rae follows, reading the mudpack label's small print intently.*

It says its Celebrity Mud. Gee! I'm going to try it too! Greebo, how about you?

*Slathers on Celebrity Mud.*

Me would rather have my claws painted... ~Greebo extends her titanium tipped falsies~

*Carefully paints Greebo's wonderflly long claws a deep purple. Her mask is drying, she can feel it stiffening.*

Wunner who 'm gunna be?

*In search of revenge for making her look like Fergie, Gwennie doesn't bother with fluffy towels and a trip to the bathroom. Instead she rips the face mask from Mari-Rae's face and a shriek of pain issues from Mari-Rae, while Greebo and Gwennie both shriek in terror*

Argh! Quick - get another face mask before she sees herself in the mirror!

*Greebo has to avert her eyes as Gwennie desperately rummmages around in Mari-Rae's pink plastic case for some more face mask with her eyes averted from Mari-Rae*

Mari-Rae, don't go in there!

*Greebo desperately tries to prevent Mari-Rae entering the bathroom to see herself in the mirror, but just misses her as the door slams shut. A shriek can be heard from inside the bathroom and very slowly the door opens, creaking on its hinges. A mirror image of Barbara Cartland is standing in the doorway, gasping for breath, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.*

*opens air vent*
*uses second shaving foam hose to hide that horrible sight*
*shuts vent*
*legs it again*

ohnohnohnohno! *Bursts into tears.*

Come on Mari-Rae! We'll just have to slap some more face mask on and hope you get your original face back!

*Makes a snorting chuckle like Fergie*

*Stifles her tears and slathers tons more of the face mask on.*

This time I'm leaving it on for the full time. Gwennie, I like you as Fergie. What's wrong with Fergie? It isn't a permanent change, you know. It justs lasts a couple hours, it says so on the jar.

*Goes back to doing Greebo's claws and ignoring Baldrick.*

Cor thank heavens the effects only last a couple of hours! *Snorts like Fergie again*

I've got some of those pretty transfers for putting on nails here. Is there room to put some on Greebo's nails! Which pictures do you think she'd like?

Stars and moons?

*face is beginning to itch beneath the mask.*

Isn't there a perfume of the same name to match the moons and stars that we could squirt behind Greebo's ears?

*Digs in her case and comes up with a nearly empty bottle of "Andromeda's Passion".*

Will this do?