h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just posted this to the forum about the lightbulbs entry... then I thought I should cross-post it here...

A specialist technical note for you: what people generally refer to as "lightbulbs" are known in the lighting and electrical world as "lamps". This is obviously an attempt to create even more confusion since most people think of a lamp as being the thing you stick a bulb into.

However, "lamp" it is, whether incandescent (which is what most people think of as a lightbulb), fluorescent (more often known as a tube, for obvious reasons), halogen(which is actually an incandescent as well), low-pressure sodium discharge(those horrible orange streetlights), metal halide (much nicer), etc etc etc

So... how many lighting professionals does it take to change a lightbulb? One to change the bulb and a dozen to chorus "It's not a lightbulb, it's a f+*!ing LAMP!!!"

Now, is a lightbulb called a "lamp" only in the UK, or is it true in the US as well?

Because I am an American, and the idea of calling a lightbulb a lamp sounds pretty damn silly to me.

The Traveller
ISO-9001 Certified

I'm English and the calling of a lightbulb a lamp is pretty silly to me too, but then we English are a pretty silly nation. Just look at all the terms in the brewing industry, they actually call water, liquor. Some people eh?

More confusion - I worked in an industry that called incandescent light bulbs "filaments". I never found out what they called discharge type lights/lamps etc!

Sorry.... strictly speaking, they're lamps everywhere... the US included. As for Bob's "filament" terminology, I have not come across that one used for a whole lamp... scary.... another whole level of confusion!

I've been thinking about this topic in more depth, and it strikes me that only incandescant lamps and certain discharge lamps actually earn the appelation "bulbs", by virtue of being bulb-shaped. A fluorescent tube is definitely a tube not a bulb, and as for compact fluorescents ("energy-saving" lights to most people).... definitely not bulb-like. I could continue.... but I will be merciful!

How many council workers does it take to change a light bulb?

2. 1 to change the light bulb and 1 to hold the ladder.

How many pet shop boys does it take to change a light bulb?

2. 1 to change the light bulb and 1 to look bored.

OK here is a lightbulb joke that is actually not that funny but I liked it anyway:

'How many stressed women does it take to change a lightbulb?'

'One. And do you know why it takes one? Because there is only one person in this house that actually knows how to change a lightbulb. The other people who live here would probably sit around in darkness for three weeks until they realised that the lightbulb needed changing. And if, by some miracle, they did manage to work it out for themselves, they wouldn't know where the lightbulbs were, despite the fact that all the new lightbulbs have been in the same drawer for the past ten years. And when they did get a lightbulb out of that drawer they would go looking for a chair. And then they would return to the the dead lightbulb and do you know what they would find there? The wrapping from the last lightbulb and the stool that they dragged there for the last lightbulb that needed changing. Probably because no-one else hinks of cleaning this house and they make mess faster than I can clear it up. The house! It would take an army of women ten years to clean this house! Heaven knows how I ever manage to find...I'm sorry, what did you ask me?'



CAT