h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

thats really cool though... maybe a spot subversive
I think it would be more attractive if you could actually
buy little Satan dolls and car stickers and talk to imps
and goblins.
I thought the satanist church was actually into going out
and setting fire to sausages and making hats out of peoples
newspapers before they'd read them but it's actually quite
civil. More like an excuse to wind up middle America

I have a little satan doll.
But it's mine. All. mine.


Nice article, though it does seem a bit biased towards satanism.
Not that a little positive bias towards something so ignorantly damned wouldn't come in handy here.

I'm curious as to the persuasion of the author...

I wonder if Satanists believe in an afterlife, like some kind of eternal consequences for what they do. And I think the author was obviously biased but I didn't mind because I learned a whole lot about the religion. I guess it WOULD be a religion, right?

As far as I know Satanism (call me biased but I'm still capitalizing that is more of a philosophy than a religion, as they really don't have a deity as such and there's no afterlife (hell/heaven.)
The simple fact for them is that when you die, you're shoved into a wooden box and thrown down a hole where you proceed to decompose.

Well, in that case I can see why one would proceed to believe in partaking in carnal pleasure, as he/she sees no consequences to his/her actions. But Confucianism is a philosophy often worshipped as a religion, isn't it?

I'm sorry, but I don't see the point in calling this philosophy 'Satansim'. All it is, is human nature. People are nice to who they want to be, they're gits to who they're not. It seems to me that it's basically saying "I'm going to do what ever I want, indulge in whatever I want and I don't care what you do". It's all very well, but I can't say I agree with it at all. Basically, it seems like an excuse to be selfish. I'm probably wrong, but it's my opinion.

Yeah... This kind of reminds me of the old argument between Locke and Hobbes. Both of them big time philosophers, Locke took the position that humanity was basically good, and that our set of laws should be based on our only existing "manual" of goodness: the Bible. (This whole argument was over what laws we should include in our constitution.) Hobbes, on the other hand, said that humans are basically selfish, and if bound to a society would have to give up a lot of their rights in order to live with others. (Thou shalt not kill, etc...) He thought our laws should be geared that way. I may have the basic argument wrong, it's been a while since I read about it, but LaVey seems to take a third view: that humans are selfish, lustful, wanting creatures, and should live up to their nature at any opportunity.

However, even though Locke won the argument historically, I tend to agree with Hobbes: you can't just go around indulging yourself whenever you feel like it, because eventually you're going to step on somebody's toes, and if you step on enough toes you're going to end up in a lot of trouble, possibly in the aforementioned wooden box. Speaking for myself, I don't find that very desirable, or indulgent.

By the way, Satanism is also considered part of the New Age movement, and the practice of "Magick" is a seriously integrated part of it: presumably as a tool to get what you want. The Wiccan rede of "An it harm none, do what thou wilt," doesn't seem to apply to Satanists: they often do what they want to anyway. I've seen and heard about it a lot. (Hell, I used to be "one of those New Agey types." )

Okay, I'm off of the soapbox. Anybody else want a turn?

What's the difference between Satanism and complete hedonistic self-indulgence. Oh yeah, and what are we supposed to call those people who believe in and worship the "traditional" Satan (apart from "Nutters", of course)

Well, for the sake of convenience, why not call those butchering-babies-dancing-around-fires folk "Devil worshipers".

Another name would be Anti-christians... as opposed to Non-christians (which would be LeVey-Satanism).

While L-Satanists might be hedonistic and self-indulgent, they are also Darwinists... ie, they know that if they drink themselves silly and drive in a car, they will probably get themselves killed. There is some suggestion of 'don't be stupid' in the philosophy... but if you want to get completely smashed and drive the religion doesn't nessisarly call that 'bad'. If you crash, then the religion calls it bad...

its big, very big, on personal responcibility.

According to L-Satanists... you are a _god_. There are a lot of responcibilities that go along with god-hood... but there are few restrictions on behavior. They shouldn't be considered "Complete Hedonists" because that implies they aren't conserned with anything but absolute pleasure. 'Course, L-Satanism can be just as hypocritical as some other religions, but I won't get into that.

There are some 'Satanic Comandments' other than the 9 the author posted... perhaps they'll help clear this up.

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

I Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

II Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure that they want to hear them.

III When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

IV If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

V Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

VI Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the person and he cries out to be relieved.

VII Acknowledge the power of magic if you have used it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

VIII Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

IX Do not harm little children.

X Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for your food.

XI When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

and there is also a list of Satanic Sins:
--Stupidity
--Pretentiousness
--Solipsism
--Self-deceit
--Herd Conformity
--Lack of Perspective
--Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies
--Counterproductive Pride
--Lack of Aesthetics

for more, I found this page:

http://www.satanism101.com/110/index2.htm

(btw, I'm not a Satanist of any stripe... I'm an ecclectic Pagan I suppose... and a pretty awful speller... Just trying to help clear up what some of you are opposed to )

Nice rules. Charming.

If LaVey Satanism is NonChristian, wouldn't Islam be pretty much in the same NonChristian category? And Buddhism, etc.?

Another question: is this LaVey religion working to accomplish any goal or is it just to help people have a good time?

Wait a minute... I'm having trouble understanding these rules now that I think of it. What is the purpose of the Eleven Rules? Who punishes you if you break them? How does following them help you? And this 'magic' stated in number 7... where does it come from? Satan? I thought he was just a 'mascot'. Or maybe there is disconformity in this religion, so they don't all follow the same beliefs. Either way, I'm lost.

The difference between Islam and Satanism is this. Satanism tries very much to be non christian, while Islam just happens to be, according to their faith. The Goal (yay capital letters!) that Satanism is working to accomplish is the improvement of life not necessarily through the society first, but through the individual first, which will then bleed out into society once everyone is happy. A good time is necessary to keep from having a bad time, and having a bad time usually spreads through not so nice ways. Columbine, for example, started with anger and general bad time-ness. Though, it needen't always be on this horrific a scale, it is oft said that "misery loves company"

The purpose of the Rules: A guide, most based on the beliefs inherent to Satanism, some a combination of those with comon sence.
On a side note, I don't remember those rules being in the Satanic Bible, but ah well.
No one punishes you if you break them... though insulting someone through the breaking of them could get you punished by them, and breaking others could bring about unwanted bad feelings.

the Magic stated in 7 comes from the self. More precisely, it comes from wants and desires, and the expression of such. A more technical term given to such magic is called "Manifestation." Interesting stuff.

The other stuff I posted was from LeVey, but wasn't from the aforementioned book. I think he probably wrote it later in way of clarification. The link in my above post might have more information on where it came from.

i'll look into it... but would you agree on my interpretation?

Yup... you seem to know more about it than I

I was visiting Seattle one week and bought the Satanic Bible for a friend of mine intersted in LaVey... i read it once before giving it to the aformentioned friend, but it made a lot of sence, and i remembered quite a bit of it... *shrug* I just wish i could still quote the awesome Confucias sayings i picked up in the library doing research one day... i had some zingers.

The whole thing sounds pretty arrogant to me, kind of like covering that awful dog poop smell in your carpet with manure perfume. Seriously, though, all of these "rules" or "guidelines" or whatever you call them are completely subjective according to your opinion of how they should be followed. And this talk of destroying people? Seriously folks, it's pretty ridiculous. Buddhism sounds perfectly reasonable too, but that doesn't mean we're actually put on this earth to suffer and wake up from it.

Sorry, I just have a strong opinion about this subject. (A lot of subjects, come to think of it... )

I tend to agree with that, but not quite as harshly... I think the only thing I actually like about the religion is its absence of hippocrity (is that right?). I don't think MY religion is hippocritical, but I do think many modern mainstream churches ARE hippocritical. But I feel wrong putting down anyone's religion, even if it IS the Antithesis (ahem) of my own. I think LaVey, while trying to do what he felt was right, was just giving people an excuse to go around doing whatever they want, which couldn't ever happen. But I do have a lot more... uhh... respect for Satanists because before I dismissed them as so-called Devil Worshippers, who I thought were absurd. Not evil, just absurd. I hope I didn't offend anyone.

What kind of smell? The main tenent of this religion(and yes it is one) is to enjoy oneself, not bust his ass over and over waiting for a reward later on. Whats so wrong with that? Are you trying to tell me you want to work like hell and get paid after you die? If so I've got an acre of orange trees that are aching to be picked.
All things you take in are subjective. Its part of being an individual.
The rules aren't the "thou shalt nots" (no offense. I'm all cool with anyones beliefs its just when you come at mine you better cover your knees) that have pervaided us for years but more a list of common sense crap that we should open our eyes and realize.
And talk of destroying people is quite logical. Long ago(storytime kiddies) I tryed to be a humble pacifistic person. I ended up getting punched in the face, lost my girlfriend and a trunkload of self respect. I'm not saying that i'm perfect and did the pacifism thing the right way but it didn't work(for me). It shocked me that i got jacked, till i read the part about rewards. I still am pacifistic at heart but you just can't survive in this society bending over because one day your gonna get something rammed up there. I mean whats so ridiculous "if a man smite you in one cheek smash him in the other". If you don't wanna get hit or do some hittin get out of the game. Look at Ghandi's life, he preached non violence and then he got shot. Survival of the fittest(mentally or physically) is the law of the jungle and its a jungle out there.

REGIE SATANAS!
AVE SATANAS!
HAIL SATAN!

P.S. could somebody tell me where the term "Yankee Rose" comes from?