h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Give that special person in your life who has everything a nice brick. And to ensure that that person cannot call you a schmuck for giving him/her a brick for christmas, have it bronzed, and have a meaningful message engraved on it.

I'd have to go with this one.... my grandmother was given a brick, wrapped with wrapping paper, and she still has it today... as a doorstop, BUT she STILL has it !

*sits in chair, cradling brick like a baby*
I LOVE MY BRICK!!!

Not fair, I want a brick!

Maybe if you're lucky Santa will knock one- I mean give one to you for Christmas

I have access to bricks "straight out of the kilne", if your intrested!

(for a small fee of course)

This sounds like another suspicious money making scheme, Sid...

Only if they're sold as "Genuine Bricks from the Manger in Bethlehem".

Actually, that's not bad.

Includes certificate of authenticity signed by the three wise men...

Actually that should read "three wise guys" - Tom, Dick & Harry.

*throws brick away, hitting Sid on the head and knocking him out*
FED UP WITH BRICK NOW!!!

S@@t happens...

Should have read the small print: "Brick is not suitable for those with a short attention span."

True, Brick is objet d'art, for enlivening dull floors.

"Brick - best before September 1979" I think it's gone off... Is it okay if I've kept it in the fridge?

Dunno... I probably wouldn't eat it if I were you.

I don't know.... I have some pretty good recipes for bricks, like short-brick cookies etc...

Short-brick bread is my favorite

Sitting there holding surplus building materials - you look a right brick.

"You're a real brick winker!" Aaah great days. Not as good as the Beano though.