h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Awwww my head.... what the f@@k hit me....

*rubs back of head to feel a lump as big as a spud*

Give me back my brick!

I haven't got your bloody brick!!!

I never had your bloody brick!!!!

Yes you did, you hit your head on it just then!

It was a mear glancing blow which left only a small indent...
*tosses brick towards EV*

*catches brick* Ta.

Mind the blood!

Hey! When I started this conversation back in the mists of time, I said "bronzed" brick, not blood-coated. It's supposed to be a Christmas present, not a weapon.

You guys seem to have lost the true meaning of Christmas.

He started it!

*takes brick, wipes blood off it, has it bronzed, engraves the word "Catch" into it, and throws it back at Sidney*

ROTFLMAOWAFB!!

*rolling on the florr, laughing my arse off whilst avoiding flying bricks!

PTPP!!!

*Pleased To Provide Pleasure*

What to buy to a person whos got everything???
Well the answer to this question should be "The Build Your Own PERPETUM MOBILE Start Up Kit", also known better as *ByoPM.Suk.
Imagine yourself sitting with your family at the christmastree, and its time for you to give your gift to for example. your father the person whos got everything.
Well he picks up your package and shakes it a bit and then listen to figure out what it is, but he cant figure that out.
Why? you think, well its only because he doesnt thinbk that he will get a *ByoPM.Suk for christmas, and the best thing is that i can promise you that NOBODY has got one.
So take a few bolts and a little bit timber,and som metalthings and anything else you think might be handy and place it all in a box and youll have your verry special *ByoPM.Suk.

*ByoPM.Suk is not availble at any supermarkets and me writing this do not take any responsibilities, for what might happen to you when youre trying to build this thing.
And remember that if you would like to know anything else about ByoPM.Suk you give me a beep.

What to buy to a person whos got everything???
Well the answer to this question should be "The Build Your Own PERPETUM MOBILE Start Up Kit", also known better as *ByoPM.Suk.
Imagine yourself sitting with your family at the christmastree, and its time for you to give your gift to for example. your father the person whos got everything.
Well he picks up your package and shakes it a bit and then listen to figure out what it is, but he cant figure that out.
Why? you think, well its only because he doesnt thinbk that he will get a *ByoPM.Suk for christmas, and the best thing is that i can promise you that NOBODY has got one.
So take a few bolts and a little bit timber,and som metalthings and anything else you think might be handy and place it all in a box and youll have your verry special *ByoPM.Suk.

*ByoPM.Suk is not availble at any supermarkets and me writing this do not take any responsibilities, for what might happen to you when youre trying to build this thing.
And remember that if you would like to know anything else about ByoPM.Suk you give me a beep.

Isn't that the device Santa uses to hypercharge his reindeer?

*luaghs at the ridiculousness of the whole conversation*

Assume for a moment that you are going to buy your best-loved Person Who Has Everything a brick for Christmas. You've had it bronzed, had gold patterns put on it in 24-caret loveliness, and had a thoughtful message engraved in the side (What would this be? "Don't Panic", of course ). Now here's a clever tactic to make the appeal of the brick last far longer - wrap it up in a half-inch thick stainless steel box, secured with good large dollops of epoxy resin. Now your loved one will be able to spend all Christmas Day, Boxing Day and possibly New Year and Easter as well trying to get into the present, thus preventing the inevitable "It's a brick" reaction which will probably occur the moment he/she finds out what the present actually is.
I know this is mean, but then I'm a mean kind of person

What do you mean?

I don't know... I'd have to inform P- er... I'd have to suggest a brick

It is a unique present - esp. if from the Berlin Wall.