h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm very sad that you haven't said anything about yourself - and I'm also curious - who are you, and what were you before? Come on, I'll put the kettle on, and you can tell me all about it. That's what my Grandma always used to say to me whenever ANYTHING (and I mean anything) happened in my life.

*Gwennie produces tea pot and cakes*

Believe, me you don't want to know..... Not all 42 year's worth of stuff, surely??!!!

Yes, all 42 years. Compress it into three lines of text. I think you must relish a challenge.

Gosh! A challenge - wow!

*Gwennie thinks this is impossible but after a slurp of tea decides to "give it a bash".*

Born 1957, married & moved to Hampshire 1979. First child 1987 & divorced 1989, remarried & 2nd child 1990, moved to New Zealand. Now in Co.Durham with family, 5 cats & 3 dogs. I'm a vegan & quite mad.

Cool - I've always wanted to live in New Zealand. You like animals then?

Cool - I've always wanted to live in New Zealand. You like animals then?

*Gwennie detects echo in the room*

2nd hubby's a Kiwi..... We lived there for a couple of year's...and lost all our money in a business venture that went bad (John's partner went bust, owing us heaps of dosh!). However, what's past is past and it's all character forming! *Tries hard to look on the bright side* NZ is a lovely, mostly unspoilt country where the sheep outnumber the people. There are quite a few Kiwis on h2g2 you know - make some friends and get an offer of holiday accommodation! It's well worth a visit (or three!)

I'm very supportive of human and animal rights so yes, I guess I do love animals - almost as much as my sprogletts....and long-suffering hubby too of course! He has much to put up with!

I'm waiting for later on in the year to get a new dog, hopefully - the current one is 14, very old, very depressed, and we're hoping that a puppy would be good for him as well as good in itself. So, I'm curious to know, what do you do with your life?

We got Jess, when my old collie cross, Kim was 14 and yes, they got on fine although Kim used to get along with everyone and everything, bless her! She pottered on quite healthily until she was 17 1/2 years old and had a stroke which she didn't recover from and had to have her put to sleep

Our latest, 7 week old addition is also called Kim and is giving Jess (now 6) and Spike (3) a really hard time - but they're very patient with her..... unlike the cats!

My son who is 9 is autistic and attends a special unit in Durham on a daily basis, Monday to Friday. I haven't worked since he was born as I couldn't afford two sets of child minder fees and now claim a state Carer's Allowance for Christopher, which means that at least I have a first class National Insurance stamp credited to my State Pension (for what it'll be worth in 20 year's time!)

We're living on Income Support, unfortunately as my husband, John (40)is very ill with migraines... I know it doesn't sound much but he's been this way for the past five years and thinks himself lucky if he only gets two per week. The medication he takes doesn't really help and only makes him overweight and tired all the time.

Consequently, I tend to do all the running around, paperwork and organising for the household although I manage to find time to work out with weights, run, swim, do Yoga (which I qualified to teach in 1989 but don't teach any longer due to family committments). I walk the dogs, do the gardening and mundane household chores which I hate. I'm crap at cooking (a confession for a vegan, hey?) and find the least time spent in the kitchen, the better. Mind you, the family feel that way too - it's a running joke about the pervading smell of burnt food emanating from the kitchen!

I belong to the Green Party and am involved in the local group. I also belong to a local Vegan group. Two days a week I work as a volunteer with the British Red Cross in their local charity shop... It keeps me sane(ish) and, as I don't have any money to donate, my time is the next best thing and it is my way of making a little difference in the world.

We bought this PC last summer. Subsequently, I've developed an addiction to h2g2 and have run up huge phone bills (not any longer though as we've subscribed to BT's free time for £9.99 per month - hooray!). I'm currently attending a City & Guilds course at a local college one evening a week to learn basic applications and word processing skills. I used to work in a office but had only been given a WPC just before leaving to have my 2nd sprogg although we did have an old Amstrad WPC at home but the software on that was dated 1984! This Windows stuff is amazing! I could sit here all day, playing whilst the family's dinner burns!

I belong to the National Secular Society too (I'm an atheist).

*Offers a couch to Possum*

Your turn - tell me about yourself but I won't inflict the three lines thing on you!

*Possum takes seat on the couch*

Okay, I hate talking about myself, but I'll skim briefly through my life up to this point. I've been around for 18 years, lived all of them in a town called Wallasey, near Liverpool. Nowadays I'm a joint honours English and History student at the uni of Kent. I like eating meat and am a christian, so I guess we have ever so slightly different takes on life, but, hey, that can only be a good thing - variety is the spice of life, to use a tired old cliche.
People always bitch and moan about their studies but I LOVE English and History, especially Shakespeare and the history of the Americas. Life is peachy at the moment, I'm really lucky to be a student and its great. You seem to be about 1000% busier than I am. Hopefully once I've left uni I'll join the foreign office - my dream is to work in the British Embassy to Japan in Tokyo. I'm stumbling through learning Japanese - Ogenki desu ka. I'm learning Judo as well, attending the gym, trying to get fit. I also help with a system they have in Canterbury for helping the homeless - giving them food and shelter and a friendly ear.
That's about it, really, as far as my life is concerned. There's a lot more, I know, but like I said I hate talking about myself - I never know what to say.
I've not been in the best of tempers today because I was woken up at 4am by stoned French people banging on my door, so I'm going to have an early night tonight. I'll have to ask you 2 questions though -
1) Which is nicer - a Mars Bar or a bunch of flowers?
2) What's your favourite planet in the solar system, apart from Mars? I've found that once you know someone's answers to these two questions, it goes a long way to understanding the way they tick. Seriously, try it the next time you meet someone for the first time.

I'm really pleased to hear that you're enjoying life at the moment. You seem to have made up your mind about what you'd like to do career wise, haven't you? I really wish you luck! Japanese is always a language I'd love to have learned. Mair, my 12 year old daughter is doing really well in Spanish and German at school but then again, she's a "jammy little moo" and finds all her subjects easy...

Hope you have an early night tonight and catch up on that sleep to restore your "brain power"!!

S'alright about the God thing ..... some of the "bestest fwends" I've ever had are religious My hubby, John is an omnivore as is my son Christopher although Mair is vegan (by choice) like myself...

Re the questions:

Well, because I'm a vegan it would have to be the flowers over the Mars bar although for environmental reasons, I don't buy cut flowers so they'd have to be artificial ones or a pot plant!

The planet would have to be this one - the Earth unless of course that you meant any other planets apart from Earth and Mars!

Okay then! Analyse away....... How does it work?

I can't possibly give away my secrets now, because that would take a long time and I'm just off to play a mammoth game of Risk (our last one lasted from 10pm to 6am, and this time we're playing for World Domination).

*Possum offers Gwennie a Chorley Cake, purchased this morning from the Uni campus shop and very tasty indeed*

I'll speak properly tomorrow...

*Gwennie sits patiently with a large pot of tea and pile of biscuits...*

*Possum arrives apologetically after long absence*

Sorry, got caught up in other things. Sorry, sorry sorry.

Anyhow, what were we talking about?

Oh, yeah, the Planet thing - Okay, people can be divided into three things based on their answer to the planet question -

1) Equivicators - These are people who procrastinate and are vague and indecisive. They try to dodge the question by laughing or pretending not to understand

2) Down To Earth Types - They say "Earth"

3) Most other people - including interesting people, strange people, those who talk to themselves in public, those who are on a similiar wavelength to myself and those who don't shave for weeks. They always reply instantly with "Venus" or "Neptune" or "Saturn", as if they've actually considered the question before this point.

Actually, I was lying, there is a fourth kind of person (the ones who are into maths or computer science or something like that). They either a) Insist on saying "Mars", or b) Think the question is silly and that I'm a loser. (There are a lot of people in the latter category)

Interesting, hey? Probably not, but I felt that I should be sending someone to sleep because I'm so tired tonight - and you're it...

Hopefully I'll do some more thinking about this and be able to work out what personality types like which planets and such like. It's all fascinating stuff - if you're me. I have to think over things like this, otherwise I'll go insane for sure.

How are you, anyway? Is life treating you well?

*Possum looks hopefully at the tea and biscuits*

*Offers tea and biscuits to Possom*

Ah, we've had trouble at t'mill! I had a phone call from my 12 year old daughter's school Monday afternoon..... She was drunk! Aparently, she'd raided my bottle of vodka (purely medicinal, you understand - I've had it since before Christmas) and decanted some into a drinks bottle and started drinking with one of her friends at the bus stop in the morning. Her friend, Gemma also had alcohol but ditched it before it was found...

I thought that Mair may have been excluded as this was mentioned but they've let her off with a couple of days in the isolation unit as she's normally a star pupil.... Her pastoral manager said that she couldn't believe it of Mair - "Anyone but Mair!" were her exact words...

Still, I hope she won't do it again and she's grounded for six months with withdrawal of pocket money until July.... I haven't yelled or ranted at Mair just quietly said "Your grounded for six months..." I'm at my most annoyed when I don't shout!

Mind you, in my case, it's the pot calling the kettle black as I can recall doing far worse stuff at school (or when I was supposed to be there!). But I was about 15 by this time and not 12!

Any thoughts or suggestions most welcome regarding Mair (ex-tom boy and usually a super swat!)

*Takes a sip of a nice cup of tea, but having just eaten, declines a bisuit*

Sorry - I'm going to have to do the 18 year old male thing and turn around and run away from any question regarding managing kids...Grounded for 6 months sounds good.

Well, not 'Good', but you know what I mean...

I was extrememly good as a child - never drank or smoked or anything. Well, until I was 16 - then things went a little pear shaped.

But we learn by our mistakes. All good parents try not to let their kids make the same mistakes they made, I think. Maybe. I don't plan to
have offspring for another 10 years yet at least.

Sips fresh tea and nibbles biscuit....

It's a good decision to leave having children until later in life. I was 30 when I had Mair...... Up until last week, the best accident I ever had!

One thing that I've learned as I bimbled my way through life, it's virtually impossible to plan one's life more than a year in advance as things often conspire to change your "plans"...

The worst thing is that if I allow Mair to make her own mistakes, I'm still legally responsible for her and her mistakes! *Sigh!*

If you don't mind my asking, what promped you to pop along to my page in the first place. Were we in a forum together at some time?

*Passes more tea to Possum...*

I think that I was just checking who was online at some point, saw your name, and thought "Well, I'll just check this out..."

There you have it...

Not stunningly interesting, but hey.

*Drinks some more tea*

Oh, bother! I thought you may have read one of my postings and thought something along the lines that I seemed witty, intelligent... blahdeblahdeblah...... Yet another dent to my deflated ego...

*Sips tea, chuckles and tries not to look disappointed*

How long have you been a "researcher" on h2g2 and how did you first stumble across this wonderful community?

Hey, although I've never read any of your other postings I'm sure that they are fantastically witty and stupendously interesting.

I've been here for about a week - a friend put me on to it. And I'm glad I did. *Sips tea as if to add extra weight to this statement*

How about you?