h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Phew - I was worried for a while there. I'll pretend that I know what you're talking about when I really don't, but nevermind, eh?

I only use h2g2 in the daytime or in the wee small hours so I don't know about what it's like of an evening. During the daytime it can be horrible though - do you find yourself getting really impatient with the computer when it's taking ages? Even if I have to wait only half a minute I get really, really annoyed. That's what living in today's superspeed society does for you, I guess.

An h2g2 film? Cool! Is this going to be a British or American film?

Anyway, I'm off to bed. I was sick tonight (Blatant appeal for sympathy) so I'll get an early night.

Ciao

Hope you've had a good sleep!

Disney are doing the film and director is the same chap who directed the two "Austin Powers" films. No casting news as yet, according to DNA on BBC Radio 5 the other day.

I just hope that Disney don't ruin it. Still, Disney made "Tron" and that was okay.

Go on! Now tell me you don't remember "Tron" because you're too young!

Well, I *do* remember "Tron", but only because it was on every christmas since....oh, for ever, practically.

But "Tron" isn't Disney's only okay film. What about "Beauty and the Beast"?

Despite having two kidletts, I've not seen "Beauty & the Beast" and managed to prevent my kids seeing it too. As a rule, I tend to avoid the new Disney cartoons like the plague! I wouldn't normally buy any Disney stuff (as my personal protest at them expanding into marine parks), but my kids nag me when they want a particular film/animation on video.

If it was a toss up between the dreaded "Dome" or a visit to Disney Land, Paris, I would probably volunteer to clean the local public lavatories in order to avoid either venue!

How's life treating you by the way? Are you managing to save funds for your "holiday"?

"Beauty& the Beast" is one of my all time favourite films - it is incredible. You have to see it. Okay, so Disney are an evil global sinister megacorporation, but on the strength of this film I can almost forgive them... See it!

(By the way, only an old fogey would class B&tB as "new" - it came out in about 1992! )

Life is...okay. I'm having girl trouble of a kind - but that's a complicated story. Suffice to say that I don't know what's going on between myself and my best friend and it's all rather confusing. But I won't complain - what would life be like without all the little complications? (Although I've always maintained that love lives would be a lot easier if everyone was gay! It would be a lot easier to understand. Unfortunately, I'm not, so I've got to put up with you weird, odd women.)

Apart from that, the money situation is not good. I've put away as much as I can in a savers account but my current account is now £100 overdrawn. Yay. I've thought of some sponsored events to do though - I'll do a 48 hour silence, a 24 hour famine and some other stuff. Should be fun, especially the 48 hour silence. If you knew me you'd realise how difficult that would be for me!

Anyway, how is yourself? (Is that good English?)

Must go - I'm ravenous. I haven't eaten since 10pm. I can't even cope with a three hour famine, let alone a 24 hour one...

So, what did you run off to snack on? Mars Bars? Beans on toast? Crisps and a pint?

Sorry the saving isn't going very well. I don't know what to suggest apart from a small, part time temporary job. But that may mess up your studies, I suppose. How about getting some sponsorship from a local paper by offering to keep a diary of your trip for them to publish?

You could always forget your girl-related problems and rent your self out with one of those male escort agencies... Arm candy, I think it's called!

I'll take your recommendation of Beauty & the Beast and give it a go the next time it's on t.v. or something. I must admit, that it doesn't strike me as the sort of thing a male student would watch!

By the way, 1992 is recent to this old fogey - so watch it mate!

It's not us women that are odd and weird - it's you lot!

My life is the usual quiet (apart from the bickering of my two darling offspring), dull (it's raining) and predictable (I heard the weather forecast) routine. I'm getting fed up with playing referee to my two kidletts and there's only another 6 days to go of the half term...

The good news is my unlimited free phone internet access which helps to keep me sane. Also, I managed to get my hands on Office 2000 and the Excell (spreadsheet) and Access (database) packages so I can actually do my college work at home on the right software!

All I need now is some sort of cage to lock myself and the computer in, so the kids can't get to me.

Free unlimited internet access? Why? How? Where? Who? When? What? But I've got that too - it's one of the perks of being at uni. So there.

I didn't snack on anything...It turned out I had no money...so I had to go to sleep listening to my stomach gurgling....

Male escort, eh? Now that's not a bad idea. I could get loads of money that way as well, couldn't I? That's not a bad idea...Maybe I could save up for plastic surgery first though....

Men odd and weird? Yeah, right. We take a sensible ammount of time getting ready to go out, don't suffer random mood swings and don't throw like...erm...girls. We're just all-round more sensible

I hope you're not knocking my taste in films, by the way. B&tB is fantastic. That's all there is to it - gender doesn't even come into the question...

What're your plans for half-term? Doing anything interesting with the kids? Or trying to avoid them

Our internet access is via Freeserve. For £10.00 per month by direct debit, we have free phone unlimited internet access plus £10.00 worth of free national or international calls at 10% cheaper than BT's rates. We originally signed up to Freeserve when we first went on line last July, but temporarily used BT Internet as an ISP for £9.99 per month who only gave us free phone access from 6.00 p.m. to midnight, and midnight Friday to midnight Sunday which was really tedious. Several times I was chatting to a friends on line via ICQ or Instant Messenger, only to curtail the conversation because I knew I was going to be cut off!

Now we can go on line any time we like without worrying about the phone bill! The trouble is, my mother is complaining that she can never get through as the line is constantly engaged! What a shame! John's positively distraught that my mum can't phone me!

Poor you, having to go to bed all rumbly in the tummy! Can't you buy stuff cheaply in a local supermarket that doesn't need a fridge or cooking (like fresh/dried fruit, cake, biscuits) for these occasions. Even some UHT milk and packets of cereal could come in handy.

I know all about the perks of the internet at university! One of my friends attends local colleges a couple of days a week as part of her nusing exams and also uses the ones in the hospital when she's on night shifts!

I'm sure you'd be fine as a male escort! You can't be that bad, can you? Plastic surgery does sound a bit drastic! Besides, some of these rich and powerful business women like a "bit of rough" occasionally...

Yeah! You lot of the male gender are strange! My 12 year old daughter, Mair wanted to know if men are really the same as how they're portayed in "Men Behaving Badly", which we've been watching on UK Gold in the evenings. I told her that men really are like that and they never, ever grow up!

Mood swings? *Kicks the bin across the floor* WHAT MOOD SWINGS??

Truly, you are branching out into unknown and dangerous territory here, young man! You're conversing with a post menopausal female here, who happens to be highly volatile! *Starts to sharpen her finger nails* If you're not careful, I'll introduce some of my fellow "more mature" female researchers to this conversation...

Nope! I would never knock anyone's taste in films as mine are pretty strange sometimes. Although I can't stand modern horror movies and always go to bed when they're on because my own nightmares are too similar to their contents. The last thing I need is to see that stuff in real life too! Give me the good old Hammer Horror movies anyday! (I used to work for the Rank Organisation, at their film processing laboratories in Denham by the way...)

Plans for half term are to avoid my kids at all costs!

Seriously though (just in case the Social Services are reading this).

Most potential entertainment or outings are too expensive, as we're living on state benefits, so I'm limited as to what I can do with the children. It costs us £45.00 just to fill the car up with petrol nowadays, so even going for a drive to a cheap/free venue is expensive, as is public transport.

One day this week, weather permitting, I hope to take them out to a local forest for a picnic, loose them and spend the rest of the holidays serenely playing with my 'puter and gardening, weather permitting.

Today, I'm taking them shopping with me, then on to a stationery shop so they can get lots of paints and pens, etc and buy them lunch while we're out, which is a bit of a treat (just to get away from my cooking)!

You know, you're always welcome to Email me. Then, if you have access to Emails while your working abroad, or not in university, you can let me know how you're doing...

Our address is: [email protected]

Catch you later and get some wholesome meals inside you, lad!

Thanks, I will email at some point. My inbox is like a ravening monster, constantly searching for new mail.

Hey, I think that I have to spring to the defence of "The Brotherhood" and say that Not All Men Are Like The Ones On Men Behaving Badly.

I mean, they remarked once that Claudia Schiffer is better looking than Cindey Crawford - what a load of rubbish....Only kidding Some of us are nice and sensitive and stuff. Sometimes.

Anyway, how's half term? Mine is currently being spent writing essays....okay, pretending to write essays and messing around on h2g2....

On the subject of wholesome meals, I had fish, sweetcorn and new potatos tonight. I think that's quite wholesome, isn't it?

Speaking of which, I think I might go and get some chocola...I mean, erm, fruit, from the vending machines down the corridor

The half term is washed out and it's pouring with rain. Poor John has had two migraines so far this week (or maybe it's just a ploy to avoid the sprogs). Today, my washing machine broke and I have two loads waiting to go in. I wouldn't mind but this is the third time and the machine is less than two years old. Before you ask, no, it isn't under guarantee as I couldn't afford the £70 per year insurance! However, John can fix most things fortunately.

Fish, and veggies is a good meal!

My son loves vending machines, by the way. I think he like the way his selection "drops out" of the machine!

I'll look forward to your Email.

Check your inbox

I'm being a good boy and working right now - so I can't talk for long

Aw! Thank you for taking time out from your essay to drop me a line. You're too kind!

Now then, young man! Get ye back to that essay! I can see you're still on line... Go on! Off you go!

By the way...I like the "Vote Green" bit to your name - well done!

Well, I'm mostly here in spirit only....minimise buttons are handy things....

This way I can flick between "Crappy English Essay" and h2g2 and Netscape Inbox with just the click of a mouse....

I notice you're on line again and have just sent you an Email. Beware! It contains a picture of our family! I hope you can view it okay.

I tried Netscape for a very short time, but prefered Internet Explorer and Outlook Express to use.

I hope your uni. doesn't have to pay internet phone charges!

Catch you later, hopefully!

Gah!

I just clicked on my inbox and suddenly there was a huge face staring back at me - it gave me quite a fright....thought for a moment that there was someone inside the computer...quite scary...

Seriously though, thanks. It's nice to be able to put names to faces...I mean faces to names...I'm very tired, as you might be able to tell - off to bed soon

I would send you some photos of me, but I wouldn't want to disturb you too much with my hideously ugly visage ....actually, though, I couldn't even if I wanted to, because I ain't got no scanner

Yes, I finished my Marxist Critical Theory essay. It probably makes for interesting reading, given that I didn't really answer the question and just basically rambled on about marxism and outlined the fundamentals....but right now, I don't really care

Anyway, I'm off to bed soon. I'm exhausted, but I'm at that stage when you're on h2g2 late at night and just decide to go snooping around on some old forums and end up spending a whole night...that's not going to happen tonight - I need sleep

Have a good sleep! Sweet dreams. *Gwennie tucks Possom into bed*

Thanks! You too (at whatever point you actually decide to go to bed )

Quite frequently, I'm up in the wee hours because I've crashed out on the sofa earlier that evening and then find myself being up half the night because I can't sleep.

The past two nights, I've done this and subsequently not gone to bed until about 4.00 a.m. However, I've have managed to get up before 8.00 a.m., before the kids and so get some work done (or play quietly on h2g2!).

John thinks that I'm nocturnal!

I hope you've caught up on your sleep in preparation for all that studying you have to do. If I had to sit in a class room and through a lecture, I'd be asleep within ten minutes!

Hi there if you would like to sleep more i will tell you my life story that puts most poeple to sleep*.in the mean time why not try my new sci-fi quiz i have offered a small prize so good luck.
*The rest just go for my throat

Hello! I love listening to life stories! Fire away!

On the other hand, I'm awful at answering quiz questions...