h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Look where's your vision by the time we get it Everest size Joanna will probably have to open a second stall somewhere. I reckon where better than the top of our h2g2 world. Now are you in or not BS?

DD

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I take a 10 minute study break and now This!!!!
Y'all can have some donuts, but pretty please don't destroy my stall
Gotta go again soon, manic revision calls.
Until I get back you can help yourself...
Don't be greedy now boys and girls!
Joanna
PS Can't go to sleep in maths, its too cold & I have to take lots of notes.

Okay Joanna, I'll try and get BS to be careful with that JCB of his. Your stall is in very safe hands after all we are some of your best customers.

DD

*Finally she comes round and climbs out of the hole*

That was quite a fall - I totally lost track of the time I'd been unconcious.
Hi Joanna! Any donuts left, or have they all been eaten?

Thanks for not burying me in there DD What can I do to help?

Sorry! My hole, its the beginning of a mariana trench sized moat

Can I help bulid the castle too? I am attempting to overcome my usual prejudices against building sandcastles. Construction of this size needn't be restricted to kids.

So it was you who put the hole there was it?
Nice work...you know, if you put some leaves over it you could trap a few people in there...anyone who tried to cross this moat is in for a long climb on the other side - trust me!

And it isn't even filled with water yet!

*She invites R97644 over withh one hand whilst starting to shovel up more sand with the other, most of it runs through her fingers before she can throw it somewhere else.*

Anyone have a shovel? *looks over at JCB, is BS asleep at the wheel, or is he just napping? A mischevious grin crosses her face.*

*Plan now fully developed, she tip-toes over to the JCB and prods BS on the shoulder.*
*No response, great.*
*Looks around carefully, checking to make sure where Joanna's donut stall is so she doesn't hit it, she carefully shifts BS in to the passenger seat(do JCB's have them?) and rubs her hands together with glee.*

Hee, hee, hee.

I've always wanted to get my hands on one of these.

*Suddenly remembering that she can't drive a JCB, and realising that any improvisation on her part could result in serious injury, she decideds it wasn't such a good idea after all and puts BS back exactly how he was before.*

Back to digging with my bare hands, I suppose...*wishful thinking...*

The more the merrier

We'll soon shift enough sand so they can build these Everest sized walls.

*Starts shovelling*

Where'd you get your shovel from?
I've just got my hands - I didn't know I'd be getting involved in this, I thought, grab a donut, get tan, great. Now it's grab a donut, build giant sandcastle and get tan - I didn't think to bring a shovel...
...perhaps I can improvise...
BTW, how are we going to get to the top of the almost-Everest sized walls to make them Everest sized walls when it comes to it???

I'm sure someone will think of something...

I brought my shovel with me to the beach. It's a habit I picked up as a kid.

*Scratches forhead, thinking carefully*
No, I can't say that's a habit I picked up.

Did you bring a bucket as well, cos I could always use that?

Yep it's somewhere over here,

I know I threw one down here somewhere, now where is it?

*CLANG*

Found it, it was getting buried beneath the sand.

Here you go:


..___
./........|_____|
|...........|
|...........|
\_____/

Drat, it worked on preview

*Eventually tires of shovelling sand*

I need a drink, want one? *reaches behind a nearby tree and, low and behold this amazing trick, pulls out bottles of Baileys, Archers and Vodka and a couple of shot glasses. Fills one 1/2 full with Archers and floats some Baileys on top. Downs it - Mmmm - has another - offers one to R97644 - then starts to improvise...*

*Decides that sitting down in the sand would be a very good idea and waits for the others to get back, miraculously making another bottle appear from behind a tree to keep her company...*

Shame there's no donuts, I could just fancy one about now...

Thanks for the offer but I don't drink.

That is one neat party trick though, guaranteed to make you popular, especially at university

Thanks for the bucket - I can keep the bottles in it now that I've stopped shovelling with it - they'll be proud of us when they see how much we've done...and Joanna's stall is still in one piece!

Well, now that I've made all these bottles miraculously appear I just can't waste them...there's only one thing to do...*opens another bottle*
*Hic

You might like to fill it with seawater to keep the drinks cool.

Better remove any clothing first, there could be sharks about.

Good idea.
*Heads off towards sea, but it appears to be at a funny angle, the slight spin on it makes it very hard to walk towards ...*

*...Stops in her tracks, decides that although sea water is a very, very good idea, the drinks weren't going to last long enough to get warm*

I think I should tell you if you don't already know, I am a member of HRASC (H2G2 Researchers Against Swimming Costumes). It is estimated that 99.99999% of people were wearing swimmming costumes when attacked by sharks. To prevent anyone on this beach getting harmed we have declared this a no swimming costume beach, hopefully avoiding any sharks in the process.

Full details can be found on:

http://www.h2g2.com/A229303.