h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Aroma Cafe, on the boardwalk, by the swimming pool, in the heart of the commerce and comestibles section of h2g2!

A spacious area with overhead fans, lots of comfy furniture, a scrabble champion blue orangutan named Ook, a lifelike statue on the back porch ("Venus Irked"), an IIEM (Infinite Improbability Espresso Machine) to fill your orders if no staff are here, and good conversation -- all features of our place.

A man, who has successfully tracked down the package containing the bolts and screws for his brother's bed and kitchen table from the myriad collection of packages at the storage company, staggers in.

Green tea please IIEM

*Lil overrides IIEM and serves green tea personally in FTTF cup, having boiled up some NZ water in anticipation of Looney's arrival*
-----------> ^}~{^

I've worked at my lightning proof computer on Billy all afternoon, with a spectacular tropical storm going on outside. And I'm pretty knackered, so I won't be here long, but it gives me great pleasure to serve you this tea and to congratulate you on sorting out your brother's assembly.

To the tune of "Little Boxes" playing on the piano in the background Loony sips tea. Excellent.

Lil, can't you get an anti-surge attachment for your computer? You connect it to your power point.

hey all!

yeah, Lil, though its not needed to quite the same extent i dont think, i have a power surge thing within the 4-gang plug i have for all my computing things....

i cant stop, but can you get a latte ready for later... please?

*trudges in, wearing dark sunglasses and dishevilled clothes*
Hi Lil,
Can I get a really, really black coffee to help combat these Monday afternoon blues?

Hi St Fashion Cat, hi Looneytunes

*drops exhausted into a comfy chair*

*lifts dark glasses and notices with a jolt I have been addressing an empty cafe*

*mumbles* couldv'e sworn....nevermind, must have something to with the day I've been having.

*trudges up to IIEM*

The blackest brew you got, please. To go.

*takes styrofoam cup and wanders out again.*

*jingle*

*Walks in and surveys empty cafe.*

Double Espresso please IIEM.

*rises mysteriously out of teapot*

Morning all. Some raw coffee beans to chew please.

*prods IIEM*
don't tell me this thing wants to know the meaning of life AGAIN.

[WM]

*Washes up and puts the v/_\3 on*

Time for tea.

Hi BB, thanks for the tea last night. Kept perfectly for me, unfortunately this is a 'Hi' and 'Bye' again.
{[B17]}

*comes in through back door, invigorated by forest experience*

Good morning BB! Hello Ook! *fetches in today's papers*

Ook, could you bus the tables and take the Sunday papers to the recycle bin? Now that the new wood is settled, I think it's safe for you to go exploring after breakfast.
*Ook drops happily out of the rafters and goes to work*

IIEM, one Ook Special please. I think I'll have some of that tea, as long as you checked that Peregrin isn't in the teapot any more

About surge suppressors: I have major UPS boxes attached to my computers. But I live in the lightning capital of the United States, if not the world. When I worked down the road in the DP department of a major retail company, they had just built a new area for DP and installed a brand-new brute of a UPS -- 50 car batteries!

Well, the place got struck by lightning one night, and when we came in, almost everything was damaged in one way or another -- the NCR mainframe was garbaged, and our desktop machines were either dead or Parkinsonian or epileptic. Even a battery-operated clock on my desk had had its settings garbled because it sat close to my phone!

So when the storm was at its very worst I even turned off the most heavily protected machine, because when the lightning comes for your equipment in this area, the only protection is to unplug stuff.

Minoova, get some pastry out to thaw, please.

That was a phone order to my maid-of-all-work bot at the atelier -- we are out of mbougatses here.

Well, hi and bye. I'll keep the pot warm so you can have a tea when you return.

aw... thanks BB, just what i need before I get back to w**k.. *sigh*

*gets comfy on the sofa, finishes her tea*

all over too soon... see you all later..

Okay, see you, my friend.
*Washes up again.*

*hurries in*

I'm late today, behind in everything, and ready for an espresso if you don't mind, IIEM...

Thank you! *immediately heads for table by open window*

*jingle*

Hello once again, all.

*waves to ox*

Did you know that you and I are on opposing tribes? And that we're supposed to be on a tropical deserted island right now?

This is totally news to me... Last I heard, I'd just dropped off my application. I go the survivor mainpage today and, lo and behold, I'm on the island.

I'm confused... I need my usual. Please, Lil? c(_)