h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He stole my toffees.

Well he's in a place where there lots of toffees.
Or somewhere where it's very hot .

and no toffees. Or perhaps there are lots of toffees, but he can't eat them, because they melt as he picks them up.

And demons poking forks in him.

And fire.

And brimstone.

And stuff.

Come to think of it, what is 'brimstone'? And why is it meant to be so scary? I mean, the traditional idea of a fiery hell puts a little fear into my heart, but brimstone?! It's like saying, 'You are going to HELL! HELL I SAY!! NYAHAHA!!! Where you will be tortured by demons, and RABBITS!!! HAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!'
Well you get the picture.

I wouldn't want to be tortured by rabbits. They look too cute and nasty and I'd be distracted and spend all my time laughing which would ruin the torture, and I wouldn't enjoy it.

well i expect the evil rabbits go to hell same as the rest of us, if there are any evil rabbits, that one in watership down was just screwed up cos his mum was killed by a weazle wasn't he?

Brimstone is sulphur.
Bet you wanted to know that.
(BTW I've been around here for 4 weeks and as yet no ACE has greeted me...I'm going to start the race to greet me before I've finished posting this message - just long enough to tell you a few vital facts that you really don't want to know about me; I'm non-existent, I also am 15 and my birthday is 25th October. OK, I'm going to start the great ACEing race to greet me first! On your marks; get set; *waves starter gun around aimlessly* bang! (Hope I didn't shoot any of you, I apologise profusely if I did, see you in hell, oh dear, I can't 'cos I'm non-existent, such a shame...no, really, it is...))


I bet no one's reading this 'cos everyone's gone to greet me.
*suddenly gets shock of reality*
You're all still reading here, aren't you? No one's bothering to go and greet me? Oh well, I'm really not worth people's phone bill...
Bluebottle, I want to commit suicide. Please inform me how.
*suddenly gets second shock of reality*
I can't commit suicide 'cos I'm non-existent and therefore I can't die. I feel really depressed now, I really want to commit suicide. I want to comit suicide 'cos I can't commit suicide. Great, this is where my life has been heading all along: to perpetual depression stemming from the fact that I want to commit suicide 'cos I can't commit suicide.
I'll stop wasting your time and phone bills with my problems now. Sorry to have bothered you.

I would go and greet you ming if someone would hurry up and make me an ACE, i just know i'd make a good one *sigh* by the way did i ever ask how Germany was?

It's a hobby, beating arses.
ooops! I'm a hamster so I can get away with it .

It's OK, I'm feeling loads better today, please ignore all that suicide stuff...I just started being depressed and attention-grabbing... It's strange 'cos when I say I attention-grab, nobody believes me, but I do and no one gives me any attention. Strange indeed. And I don't think you did ask about Germany, Jenny, but it was, well, German. And I would make you an ACE, but I can't, 'cos I'm not one...
You're a hamster?
Greebo, do you eat hamsters?

there are evil bunnies in hell.......i went there for my hols.
no toffes though. just evil rabbite poking nasty children with sticks and toasting the occasional cute kitten. a poor defencless cute fluffy wuffy kitty......oh u bastards!
enough of that.
ming u must exist because if u did not exist we would not be aware of your existance.

You exist, therefore you exist. If you did not exist you would not exist. If you existed, you existed. It is simple.

Me exists if that helps... ~grin~

It always helps - where would we be without Greebo?

We'd have more donuts, but we wouldn't be as happy.

Very true.

I thought Doughnuts = Happiness

No that was what Greebo told me.

no i thought it was happiness=doghnuts because when you are happy you have more time for baking, or am i thinking of gherkins?

u bake gerkins? what kind of sick pervert are you?

A gerkin-baking one, apparently.

Gerkin is an odd word... ~grin~... it makes me want to snigger when me says it...