h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Passes over an ... full to the Bream.

Can I have a pint of Bass?

<BB<

Yes .... or, if you prefer revolting lager, there's Carp ....

*wonders what the lager is revolting against - the puns perhaps?*

Then again, if you like your ale warm, you could always mull et.

*tries to drown self in slops tray*

What's the matter dar ling? You look a bit pale around the gills...

Don't worry about me, I'm having a whale of a time.

Ah, hello EV! Is that your Electric Yellow Labido or are you just pleased to see me?

*just trying to prove a point for BB *

*not entirely sure what the point is, mind... Perhaps should have considered re-inventing myself as a female cake before saying that *

Sorry... it's been a long day...

*slaps Cakewalker with the halibut*

You do realise I'm a vegetarian cake?

*hands EV a packet of tofu and a large aubergine to hit him with*

All these fish puns are causing haddock in here!

*slumps in a chair in the corner*

A please?

*gurgles from slops tray then pours *

*drags menza over to a handily placed armchair infront of te fre to dry him out*
Right then, I'll serve tonight whilst he recovers! What can I get you all? Fruit pastilles? Ribena? Kylie?

Vodka and cherryade please, Tink.

Are you a Fishcakewalker perchance?

Pint of Irn Bru, please, Tink.

<BB<

we don't seem to have smilies for these but nevermind!
*pours EV a pint of vodka and cherryade, adds a little cocktail umbrella and a slice of lime and slides it down the bar*
Much higher class of drinks when I'm in charge don't ya think?
*passes BB 2 cans of Irn Bru*
Do you want a glass with those or will a bendy straw do?