h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*walks in*

Ooooh! Air-conditioning!

*orders a couple of , sits at the Maverick Table, and begins to hum merrily*

*walks in randomly*
Oh...
*attempts to make it seem intentional and passes over to Yossarian*

It makes no difference to me, really. Nice to see you. We haven't shared a pint in a while...

*takes the , and offers Tink a seat at the Table*

*tries to think when they last spoke*
Hmm...
*grins*
Thanks! Do you have 's in here or just pints?
How are you today?

We've got it all.

*passes over three *

Today I went insane just to see what it was like. How was your day?

Hiya Yosso....

'sme again, and you'll be glad to hear I'm off the man hating thing (for a while)

You never did tell me what your favourite cheese is.

Hi tinkerbell, hows things?

purplejenny

*walks in, humming the theme song to the Muppet Show, reads some backlog, orders and drinks a few , decides he needs something stronger, orders and drinks twelve , and falls into a seat at the head of the Maverick Table*

Good. Man-hating is ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous, did I ever tell you how many hours I played with various blues, rock, jazz, and funk bands three days ago?

*feels a little sick after drinking his 27th , stands up on the table and shouts,*

I know I've been out a lot lately, but it's only because I've things to do, you know? It has nothing to do with how much you all mean to me *gets an odd look from a passing female researcher*, I just have just been bombarded with responsibility and such...

But I promise that I will be here every night, drinking as hard or even harder than in the good old days!

*orders and drinks another few and also a for some variety, gets up on the Table again and screams,*

So it was not so much the earth to which I addressed my gaze but the heavens, where the mystery of absolute immobility was celebrated. The Pendulum told me that, as everything moved -- earth, solar system, nebulae and black holes, all the children of the great cosmic expansion -- one single point stood still: a pivot, bolt, or hook around which the universe could move. And I was now taking part in that supreme experience. I, too, moved with the all, but I could see the One, the Rock, the Guarantee, the luminous mist that is not body, that has no shape, weight, quantity, or quality, that does not see or hear, that cannot be sensed, that is in no place, in no time, and is not soul, intelligence, imagination, opinion, number, order or measure. Neither darkness nor light, neither error nor truth!

*bows, climbs off the Table into his seat, and passes out*

*wakes up*

Don't touch my stuff!

*looks around to find no one, orders and drinks a couple , and glances around the bar again in a desperate attempt to find some company*

*clears some empties and pours a few *

*Wanders in and sees .*

Cheers Menza . The air conditioning in here is just the thing for this hot day.

*thinks*

.....

I might have left the freezer open.

*walks in, humming to himself the Mongolian National Anthem of which he's never heard before but is sure is hilarious, sist down at the Table, orders and drinks a few , then proceeds to grab his right ankle and hop madly around the room on one foot until until he crashes into the pinball machine in the corner and collapses insensible upon the floor.*

I didn't know we had a pinball machine in here! If only I'd known...then I wouldn't have spent so much time conversing with that semiotics lecturing shed outside...

*walks into the shed, has a furious argument about Nothing*

Basically we were just shouting at each other...

*wakes up at the Maverick Table wearing a lampshade over his head and an incredible hangover, orders several to clear his headache, nothing happens, orders another round of , and feels much better*

I feel like a million bucks!

I know what you mean... Usually the shed says some very mean things. It's not like I really listen to what it has to say, though, but it's not What he said, it's How he said it, you know?

Let me buy you a round...

*orders a lethal amount of , and begins to drink away*

Thats the great thing about virtual , no side-effects on the liver.

*pours *

Amen.

*drinks the , and decides to go outside for a walk. upon opening the door, he screams, "Ahh! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!" holds his hand over his eyes, and runs blindly into the great outdoors*

*struts in*

Anyone know the guy that just ran out of here? I crashed hard into him, but he ran off screaming before I could see if he was okay.

*sits down without invitation*

Drink please.
*lowers voice to a whisper*
Cheapest thing you got.

*walks in*

You can call me whatever you want to, wherever you want to, except for here. This is the Table that I created, so you may think that I'm no more than a bum, but so long as you're on my turf, I ask for a certain level of respect, you know?

And now that we've gotten that much out of the way, I say we formally introduce ourselves over a few pints.

*orders twelve , and hands one to God's Gift*

My name's Yossarian. I am a MuG, and a regular here and at the sweetly perfumed cafe. Nice to meet you.
*offers handshake*