h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I shall be planting a large bomb under JZGs campaign bus. This policy of oppositional iradication shall be called...

The Kurd Way

(Any Kurds referred to in the creation of this policy are purely fictitious, and any resemblance to any armed organistation is coincidental, and should not be seen as an encouragement to fire any form of ballistics.)

All green fruit pastilles and fruit gums to be outlawed, and it will become an offence to even consider adding this flavour to any sweets. Yes, it's

Tough on lime, though on the causes of lime.

Merkin's pages to be cleansed of all limericks in perpetuity.

Tough on rhyme, tough on the causes of rhyme.

Curses! Discovered!

All gentlemen wearing monochromatic striped clothing and effecting the semlance ofr fighting against a strong wind, or seen feeling an imaginary pane of glass will be shot on sight. It is indeed...

Tough on mime, tough on the causes of mime.

All advancement within the temporal dimension to be halted forthwith.

Tough on time, tough on the causes of time.


Ray Charles and Sugar Ray to be joined in concert by the ghost of Ray Eberle. Yes, it's

The Third Ray.

HMmmmmmm!! That could take some time!!
shazz

All numbers forthwith must be divisable my an integer other than itself and 1. This is...wait for it...

Tough on prime, tough on the causes of prime.

Charlie Kray shall be made special advisor for the Metropolitan Police Service.

The Third Kray

That's just not fair!! Anyway, with his noew policy on all things temporal, time is one thing JZG doesn't have!!

Certain songs from the album Breaking Glass will be reduced in length to fit the new, shorter working week. Obviously this will lead to

The Third Day.

(getting desperate here!)

Special advantages to be given to those who demonstrably have no life, for example those who have volunteered to stay in the computer room over the millennium.

The Nerd Way.

May 3 to be declared a bank holiday throughout the known world:

The Third May.

Free bus passes for all, combined with strict regulation allowing the London Mayor to tell the bus drivers where to go and when, thus ensuring that London will be:

In buses, but not run by buses.

Legislation to be enacted to force the French to keep the Eurostar station at Lille, and not move it to Rambouillé.

So it's Lille Europe and not Rambouillé Europe.

Jim Reeves' career is flagging these days, due partly to the fact that he died the year I was born. This is unfair discrimination. At the same time the talentless Bananarama and the Fun Boy 3 are able to secure bookings. I therefore propose new talent-based controls on the ability to tour Europe. This policy will be known by the convenient handle:

"Jim Europe, but not Fun Boy Europe"

Monet to be cloned twice to paint the millenium skyline (one to do it from the right, one from the left). This will herald...

The third Jean Baptiste Pierre Antoine de Monet

Computing power at the Meteorological Office to be increased by 50%, through the purchase of (yes, you guessed it)

The Third Cray.

hehehe....another good one Jz.....but,are you cheating?!!I now have 2 votes for you with the same name!!hmmmmmmmmmm.......I will overlook it ...THIS TIME LOL
shazz

You shouldn't have more than one of any name. Naturally my wife and sons voted for me, and these messgaes would all have come from my Mac, but any others should be honest-to-goodness votes from real folks. Honest