h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In a 1968 short story, 'Not By Its Cover', Philip K Dick brilliantly imagined that all literature could be usefully amended by wrapping it in the fur of the Martian wub, a mystical creature endowed with a strange form of immortality. In Dick's vision, the wub edited all literature, exuberantly, with an affirmation of eternal life.

He wasn't the first. Remember those Ouija board writers? Even before they got started, there were channelers like Lizzie Doten. In the 1860s, Ms Doten published poetry she channeled from all the 'greats' - and they had a lot to say about the Afterlife. Now, it's a question whether we're too impressed with her Shakespeare:


"To be, or not to be," is not "the question;"
There is no choice of Life. Ay, mark it well! —
For Death is but another name for Change.
The weary shuffle off their mortal coil,
And think to slumber in eternal night.
But, lo ! the man, though dead, is living still...

Lizzie claims to have been a bit overwhelmed by the Bard. Her favourite poet appears to have been Edgar Allan Poe. She channels him better, and it's not surprising that he would show up - after all, that sort of thing should be right up his alley. Check out his (sic) poem, 'The Streets of Baltimore':

http://www.eapoe.org/papers/misc1851/18910401.htm

(Bottom of page.) Poe obviously has a wonderfully uncluttered perspective from the Other Side: he seems to be referring obliquely to Civil War events in Baltimore. I'm kind of surprised he cared, though, when writing about his death in 1849.

If you'd like to enjoy more of Lizzie Doten's oeuvre, check out her volume, 'Poems of the Inner Life', available through archive.org:

http://archive.org/details/poemsfrominnerl00dotegoog

Spiritists' literary efforts give us the advantage of being able to critique our favourite writers from beyond the grave. Cool.

Like a fiery serpent crawling, like a maelstrom madly boiling,
Did this Phlegethon of fury sweep my shuddering spirit o’er,
Rushing onward ......

now there's one to quote, under the influence of a couple of festive shots of whisky. I could stand on a table right now and declaim to anyone who will listen, which will be no-one, but hey. ....



I love this. Splendid!!The writers from beyond the grave.

And the Martian Wub is in my life, and I can't believe I've lived so long without meeting him/her. I know not the gender of this aforementioned creature.

I will most definitely be checking Lizzie's oeuvre. . I am bonded with this lady. In fact, I could have a chat with her right now.



Thankyou so much for this inspiring information, Mister D!

How do these dead poets choose whom to entrust with their channelling? And when to communicate?
It could be quite inconvenient, couldn't it? If you were, say, stuck in a traffic jam and Wordsworth started spouting about the beauties of the rural English countryside. You might get something like this:
'I travelled busy as a bee
That visits ev'ry flower in sight
When all at once I saw a sea
A host of cars besieged in tight
Formation on the road ahead,
Engines idling, brake lights red.'

Any time.

Here's an audio version of the first wub short story, 'Beyond Lies the Wub'. I find the story both hilarious and inspirational:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7naAQlarvg

And I agree; Lizzie's rather impressive. Or else Poe writes better dead than Mark Twain, whose posthumous work got panned...

I love your channeling, MVP.

Wasn't it Whoopie Goldberg in that ghost movie who got mad at those importunate ghosts in her flat?

I love it, mvp. Brilliant.

Ah, Beyond Lies the Wub! I shall introduce myself.



And from the beyond cometh the message! Or not. .



It would be interesting to write an entire novel in automatic writing, and convincingly credit it to a voice from beyond.

Until the copyright hassles begin.

'It's all my work', saith the voice from beyond. 'You just wrote it down. This work must be in my name, exclusively.'

'No it's my work too!' saith the scribe, I took the trouble to listen to you, I've wasted hours of my life listening to you in fact.'

A divorce lawyer is called in. Things get messy. Words like 'subconscious mind' and 'you don't really exist' are bandied around. The voice from beyond huffs off to discover new channels of creative expression.

The scribe, alone at last, loses all interest in writing, but one day, quite by chance, runs into the voice from beyond in a roadside cafe, and they eat baked beans and talk about it all again.

And ...



Oh, OK. Byeeee.

It has been done, many times: A87840967

Poor Mark Twain...

According to Terry Pratchett Granny Weatherwax doesn't trust because after all most of them have been written by dead people Just saying

Now this is a fine piece of writing, Mister D! Just up my street, the first paragraph has me hooked and I haven't even got to Mark Twain and things concerning the Ouija, which will spook my dreams, in a rather fine way.



heheh. How wise is Granny Weatherwax. I love it.

The Ouija board as a literary tool is probably kind of overrated...looks too much like work to me...

Let the tabby drowse and blink her wisdom to the firelog!!



'...that apostrophe is too far down. I am in danger of falling off the board every time I make a run for it.'



Great word, amanuensis. Never heard this word before.

This is great stuff. I'm in Heaven, reading this.

(if you care to contact me) (Ouija only, no email)

heheh, yes, I've never seen a Ouija board. I wouldn't share my room with one, or even my house.

I did have this idea once that a computer would be a fine medium (as it were) for spirit communication. Disembodied energy finds the broadband channel to be less clunky than the weeja.

Worse...you can find Ouija boards online...dunno how that's supposed to work...

Really?? Seriously?? This is most worrying.

cue an mvp story.

Yeah, what mayhem could an online Ouija board create? Hm...

There's great potential for ye poets and writers, with this one.

I'm scared now. I need Granny Weatherwax to read me a comforting bedtime story.

No! No! On second thoughts, perhaps not.

Ouija boards online? That certainly explains a lot. Like for instance the comments on dailymail.co.uk and a lot of other sites