h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We live in a universe where stupidity is either infinite (per Einstein) or the most abundant substance (per Zappa).

Everyone has been affected by stupidity, and everyone has committed some sort of stupidity. It is quite simple to spot stupidity in everyday situations. In a very general sense, a stupid act works to the detriment of all parties involved. The important distinction is that stupidity manifests itself in an action or decision.

Stupidity is situational. Academicians, especially those lacking the more esoteric social skills, can be considered stupid by socialites. In turn, those socialites who lack the
intellectual acumen, and sense enough to avoid highly cerebral company, can be called stupid.

This is not quite correct, though: an ignorant person is not necessarily stupid; stupidity is the act by an ignorant person which engenders damaging consequences. As Forrest Gump frequently reminds us, 'Stupid is as stupid does.'

People can properly be labelled stupid when they achieve a threshold number of stupid acts, and can thus be expected to act stupidly in most situations.

Carlo M. Cipolla, Professor Emeritus of Economic History at Berkeley, in his essay 'The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity', applies transactional analysis to posit a set of laws:

1. Everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.

2. The probability that a certain person may be stupid is independent of any other characteristic of that person.

3. A stupid person is a person who causes losses to another person or to a group of persons while himself deriving no gain and even possibly incurring losses.

4. Non-stupid people always underestimate the damaging power of stupid individuals.

5. A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person.

Professor Cipolla uses a standard Cartesian graph, with the axes representing 'gain/loss', for x=self and y=others. In the 'gain/gain' quadrant the Intelligent* people (I) are found. The 'gain to others/loss to self' area is the home of the Hapless (H). Bandits (B) dwell in the 'gain to self/loss to others' zone, and the Stupid (S) occupy the 'loss/loss' quarter.

Dividing the graph further, along x=(-y), we subdivide the Hapless (H) and Bandit (B) groups. The (IB) are less of a threat than the (SB), due to the fact that the losses to others are less in proportion to their personal gain. The (SB) are prone to make mistakes which contribute to the general loss. The (IH) produce a greater general good than their individual loss, while the (SH) lose a great deal to produce only a marginal benefit.

Using this schema, events, actions and decisions can be measured in terms of their consequences. Since people engage in a variety of activities, with the usual variety of consequences, this graph would identify personal tendencies.

[Darwin awards.]

[Should stupid people be allowed to breed?]

*I am of the opinion that 'intelligent' is not the most appropriate antonym to 'stupid'; we should all be aware by now that intelligent people are as capable as other people to perform stupidly. 'Competent' is perhaps a better tag.

Stupidity in action:

After a Raiders game at the Oakland Coliseum, my sons were accosted by a stupid person, who asked them for their help. He wanted to assault a cop.

Fun article. Want any stupid questions from library patrons to add? Oh, right, this is a serious study on the subject of stupidity.

I have a patron who went through a very depressing summer. It's a long story, and I blame the selections from Oprah's Book Club. Anyway, she asked me for somethng to read that would cheer her up. So I suggested she read the Darwin Awards. She brought the book back and told me I was a very sick person. She didn't find them amusing at all.

There ought to be some kind of treatment to heal a person's sense of humor.

There were several really stupid moves by our architects/contractors during our building project. The first one happened during the planning phase. We have a stone building and needed to match the stone for the addition as closely as possible. So the architects brought us this hugh box of samples. We took them around to various places on the building and held them up next to the original stone and finally made a selection. Then they went off and placed an order for the stone. A couple of weeks later they steam-cleaned the building, washing off 90 years of accumulated pollen, dust, etc. You got it. The stone when delivered was the wrong color and had to be sent back. We wound up 2 full months behind schedule and over budget as a result.

Close behind in the stupidity sweepstakes are the guys who did the demolition inside the building. They took out the wrong staircase plus a load-bearing wall.

And the standard defense is, "We did what they told us to do..."

A stupid move like that is usually a group effort. Workers follow the plan, and the planners never visit the worksite.

Surgery patients have been known to write on themselves with indelible markers: "This is my good (foot/leg/arm/breast/etc.) Work on the other one."

True. Nothing is ever anyone's fault. Funny how that works.

Yes, it may be worth mentioning that the one thing stupid people are really good at is blame-shifting.

I guess this isn't in the stupidity department, but I'm also puzzled by the people who work harder avoiding work than if they just worked.

Very old joke -
Man sits down next to a bum on a park bench. "Why don't you get a job?" he asks.

"Why would I want to do that?" replies the bum.

"Well, so you could have a house and a car and a comfortable lifestyle."

"I don't need any of those things. I'm comfortable the way I am."

"But you could save money so you could retire and not have to work anymore."

"I don't work now!"

Hope you don't mind my joining in.

I think most stupid acts are caused by inattenion and/or an attitude of not caring what the result is going to be, both of which I've seen in the work place far too often. My belief is that if you don't care about what your doing you shouldn't be doing it.

Yes, I have made my share (at least) of cock-ups.

Natural Deselection aka Darwin Awards, a wonderful thing.

,DickyB.

Stupid originally meant mentally slow. It had a close association with “stupor”. However, I think your definition comes closer to a current usage.

Napoleon said that there were four types of officers: intelligent, stupid, lazy and industrious. He said that the best type of officer was lazy and intelligent. The worst was industrious and stupid. My highest workplace complement was “Napoleon would have liked you.”

My German friend is a nuclear engineer who speaks about six languages. I told him a joke one day:

“Have you heard about the new German microwave?”

“No.”

“Seats six.”

After a moments puzzlement and blank stare. His response was”

“Bob, that is stupid…You don’t sit them down, you stand them up to get more in”

Hi DickyB, welcome aboard.

Yes, even competent people 'do the stupid' when they let their priorities lapse.

There's already a good entry on the Darwin awards, so I'll add a link to the PR version.

Phred...Napoleon...the man was a genius, and to think he finally succumbed to a larger stupidity is kinda heartbreaking.

I always got along better with the lazy intelligent officers, to be sure. Their credo is 'maximum effect with minimum effort.' Makes a lot of sense.

'...you stand them up to get more in.'

There are laws and regulations in force which were designed to protect stupid people from themselves, as they inconvenience everyone else...

I'll have to research some good examples of this...any suggestions?

Intelligent people usually understand immediately when they have 'done the stupid'. Hence, they are more inclined to modify their behaviour.

How about the warnings manufacturers have to put on their products? Some of them are clearly intended for stupid people. Like the ladder manufacturer who put on a warning lable saying not to stand the ladder in manure.

Rats. There is an e-mail of silly warnings/instructions going around and I bet I can't find it. But I will look and see if I have it in my history. Another one was something about not using an electric heater under water.

Excellent! I've seen something like that...I hope you can find it.

'Don't put beans up your nose'... Who?...what?...why?!?

In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my
hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular
soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not
turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!


On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot
after heating."
(...and you thought????...)


On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)


On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)



On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or
outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?


On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the
other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious)


On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)


On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

that last one.

The Dr Pepper bottles manufactured in College Station TX have this note embossed on the bottom:

'Open other end.'

* * *

"Say, who's that young fella there with the holes in his face?"

"Oh, he's an Aggie. They're teaching him to eat with a fork."

Stupid: lighting a cigarette when you've just been dawbed with a flammable ointment for a skin condition.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/south_yorkshire/4918538.stm

(The family aren't stupid, they're sueing the hospital for neglect)