h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I said the bally thing won't take me name and e'mail.Whats the good of a convention without some overbearing strident middleclass harpies in the mixture. Hope for your sake this is not some practical joke or some sort of tomfoolery or I'll have you horsewhipped to within inch of yer life.Now lets have some hexplanations ,look sharp

I say! Enough of the strong language there old thing. Can I assume that you are referring to my finest ConVivial? If so, then fret not, for 'tis indeed the, as the Americans would have it, "Real Deal". Now, why not have a seat, take a couple of deep breaths and explain what your problem is while i have my man bring in some tea.
Gammon!

You, um, yelled, m'lud?

Zantic

Some tea for this here lady, if you will. Oo, and some muffins. Lets see if that will calm her down sufficiently to explain her predicament.

(I was watching to the manor born, it went to my head)

Tea and crumpets m'lud. Will there be anything else, or shall I get on with de-clawing the whippets?

Zantic

Yes and you might tell Griffen that I would rather not have a barrowful of manure parked right outside the side door.I'm expecting a 'visitor' shortly. Well what are you gawping at man,you're not paid to raise your eyebrows more than half an inch above your fringe and what is that thing in your left ear?

Speak up man,I don't pay you to mumble.....(thinks the pleasure of serving me should be payment enough.But I could put an extra packet of hobnobs in the servant quarters)

You should never hobnob with the servants, it gives them ideas.

Its usually me that ideas about the servants