h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It must not be forgotten that rice is a popular choice amongst thesps for fake rain....

One can put grains of rice in a salt shaker to absorb the moisture that would otherwise make the salt clump. It doesn't work but it's nice to feel you're making an effort.

Don't forget the nuptial use of the grain...
Though I don't know why throwing it is supposed to bring good luck to the couple!

Of course, here in the U.S., many churches are outlawing the throwing of rice because someone then must sweep all that thrown grain up after the wedding. Some are now making wedding parties throw bird seed, because (presumably) the birds will eat al the thrown seed - of course, someone will have to clean all the bird droppings off the sanctuary, but I'm sure someone is working on that problem....

Actually, the reason places are pushing for weddings to use bird seed instead of rice is that it makes the bird's stomach blow up. Which, incidently, is another excellent use for rice.

One word - STRESSBALLS!!!!!

Take one balloon that has not been blown up and fill with rice, then take how ever many others as you want (however two is suggested) and cut off the bit you blow through. Cut other circles in the extra ballons and then place around the rice filled one (this requires a lot of pushing an pulling, tugging, exertion.. and while there are other activities that also involve this - this is longer lasting).

Voila!! Instant clolurful stressball!!

Rice also makes a good kiddies shaker. Simply put some in a tin and give it your young offspring. Seconds of real amusement guaranteed.

Rice is well known for it's capability to absorb alcohol, making it an ideal pre-session meal. Obviously this involves cooked rice, but I have often wondered what would happen if you just ate the rice uncooked and then went out on the beers. Presumably it would only occupy the same amount of space in your stomach as the cooked rice would have, allowing you to double your beer intake for the evening. I have never tried this because I am sure that alcohol and logic don't mix. Or rum and ginger ale...

let us not forget the pesticide uses for rice, if say assuming a pigeon was a pest. When
the pigeon 'accidentally' eats rice it expands in their oesophagus and suffocates them,
bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. try it in Piccadilly circus.

Another fine use of uncooked rice of any variety, is to fill the heater air intake on your mates' car. Thus, on turning the blower on next time, he gets a fantastic reminder of what a jolly good person you are, and what an excellent japester he has as a friend. We used to use the chad out of a paper tape punch, but it's not too good on the lungs if inhaled. Maybe someone should put chad down for the pidgeons in Trafalgar Square or Picadilly Circus !!!

Just on a non-rice note for blowing up birds...if you can get a pigeon to eat an Alka-Seltzer, it'll also expand like ninety inside it and blow it up lots. Nice and messy and nearly worth giving up your hangover sure for...

There are large amounts of starch in rice - and large amounts of starch are posionous cos we can't turn it to sugar quick enough. SO the amount of uncooked rice that would need to be consumed to double your alcohol intake would kill you.

Wich gives us another use for rice - murder!!

My children presented me with a christmas decoration which was a circle of card with pasta and rice stuck on in a pattern and then sprayed gold. Hanging from a red ribbon. It actually looked quite nice in a tacky sort of way. So could also be used to decorate picture frames when you are bored.

Yup,
My friend tried this, having heard about it, but not having Alka-Seltzer, he wrapped a couple of Neurofen in bread to test the effects. The bird didn't explode, but it did wobble through the air for a bit before failing to clear the top of a cliff and instead flying into it.

Less messy but twice as ammusing!

Rice is thrown at weddings because some cultures (mainly Asian, as I'm lead to believe,) believe rice to promote fertility.

And nearly a year later, I finally get my answer!

The Guide - not very fast, but we get you there in the end!

Thanks a lot!