h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Without wanting to be overly harsh, I think a few corrections might be in order. Firstly, you'd be hard pressed to view the sunset over the river from King's Park, given that the sun sets in the west, and the park looks east over the river. The sunrises are quite spectacular however, and I heartily recommend them. For sunsets, you can't get more spectacular than going to one of the many beaches that seemed to escape mention in this article - a bit strange given that Perth thrives on its beach culture, and the beaches are of a pretty high standard - clean, attractive, and not overly populated (compared to others around the planet).

Secondly, describing the river as murky brown is taking artistic licence just a bit too far. You need to take a close look at the Yarra in Melbourne, if it's murky brown that you want. I even went down and took a look at the river today, and there it was, definitely blue.

Now, you might think I'm just being overly defensive (apparently that's what we do here, according to your article) but hey, would a little bit of accuracy go astray? Besides, I'm well aware of Perth's faults, and the smog problem is definitely one of them. But then again - I can't think of one day this winter when it was an apparent problem.

Oh, and I can think of three or four shopping centres that are two storeys high . . . not that I've ever considered that to be one of the great criteria for a city in the first place. And I'm hardly likely to be upset about having this pointed out to me. Let's face it - the shopping mall is an American creation, and last time I looked, Perth was definitely an Australian city. Give me the local shops of Fremantle any day.

As for the weather - yes, we do have a winter which geographically, is hardly surprising. And if you want my tip, visit in autumn - around March to April, when the days are warm and sunny, but the really intense heat has disappeared.

I don't want to sound hypercritical, but I think a better article could have been written about Perth - one with a bit more balance.

Must say that having lived in Perth for just over a year, I too found the article a bit harsh. Sure if you don't support the footy (its egg shaped not round!!!!) you are regarded as retarded, and yes they don't have any mountains and the place is built on sand, but having lived in many other parts of the world all I can say is don't knock it unless you are REALLY picky!

The main problem we have with Perth is the isolation; it costs more than an arm and a leg to get to other parts of Australia - actually its much cheaper to visit Bali or Indonesia than to go to Darwin or Cairns or NZ - but we made the choice to come here so we look at the good things like clean uncrowded beaches and relative safety when going out at night - as we have sea kayaks we take full advantage of this. Everywhere has something you'd like to change, but having lived in Africa, England, Papua New Guinea, and Brisbane, Wollongong, and Tasmania in Australia I don't think there's too much to gripe at.

I'm sorry if you found this article to be offensive in any way - it wasn't meant to be. I love Perth, and love the clean Hill's air. Except in winter, when it *is* actually pretty smoggy up here, at least at night. I love the unpolluted beaches and the size of perth - it makes a nice change from the masses of Honolulu and SanFran.I love being able to go for bushwalks in the Darling Ranges and fishing in remote locations.

The article was written with the sole intent of teasing my friends (being a still-acented American, I tease them unmercifully about the lack of decent malls -a situation which is improving with the extensions to Carousel, not that we actually need anything more, thoug a Maccas in Kalamunda would be nice, damn thsoe council by-laws!) I submitted it for the hell of it, fully assuming it would be rejected. To my utter surprise, it was not.


Again, if I caused any offense, my appologies.

Regarding the minor corrections, sorry!
I'll see what I can do about those.

I lived in Perth for 13 years, and it's not all bad.

Good Points.
1) Weather. Predictable sunshine but too windy sometimes.

2) Beaches. As long as you are prepared to drive 3 hours south to Yallingup or Margaret River for a wave, Perth has nice clean not-so- crowded beaches ideal for paddling in. But watch out the the wind in the afternoons. Not for the surfers. Not much chance of catching a fish either, but plenty of crayfish to be found for the adventurous.

3) Complete lack of people. Compared to East Coast cities, Perth is empty. Desolate. They complain about traffic jams but they have no idea. Give me a Perth "traffic jam" any day.

Bad Points.
1) Perth drivers. They are all asleep. They all drive in the right (equivalent to the left, or overtaking to all you yanks out there) lane and they can't judge distance or velocity.

2) The wind. The Fremantle Doctor as it's affectionately known is part of the local folklore. In summer it provides welcome relief from the heat but all too often it has the tendency to blow a force 10 gale.

3) The flies. Too many, mostly bred in the farming areas to the east. Very annoying and much faster and persistant than the eastern states variety. Thankfully due to 2) above these often get blown away in the afternoon when the Doctor comes in.

4) Local ego. All native Perth inhabitants know without any doubt that Perth is the cultural, technologocal and sporting hub of the entire universe, but 85% have never left the state.

5) Night life. Ot lack of. There are a few clubs, and about 5 pubs worth viviting. The pubs close between midnight and 1 am. The clubs are all the same.

6) The Swan River. It stinks. Bad. Toxic algal blooms and various species of jellyfish abound. To be avoided at all cost.

In summary, Perth is quite livable but not the most exciting place on Earth. I chose to join the youthful exodus out of the place, chosing to live on the East Coast (Sydney) until I get old and disinterested in life. You get paid more here, the city doesn't close down at midnight and generally a lot more interesting. But I'll go back one day.

There is a word that has all Perth in panic mode.
I can't believe that the reaction is to close the beaches. Like as if a shark's thought process is.....
"Oooh, there is no-one on the Perth beaches today"
"I might as well pack up and move North"
"So long and thanks for all the swimmers"

...Yes, Perth is much too isolated.

Which beach was the incident on? Pardon my ignorant curiosity, but I lived in Perth for a few years.

There was a guy killed off Cottesloe in about 1998 or 9... Occasionally they have a chomp at someone off Margaret River and surrounding areas. They like surfers and surf-skis I gather - possibly for the vague resemblance to seals...

More about Perth - as a geographer, I have to point out that it´s no where near 1 third of the way up the coast, even if you work from a straight north-south line... It´s more like 1 fifth. This is an excessively detailed map http://www.west-oz.com/Maps/westozmap.pdf but if you´re european, you may be interested to note the local government areas (roughly equivalent to UK counties), some of which are bigger than moderate sized countries. In the north it shows pastoral leases, enormous swathes of semi-arid land, leased from the government by individuals (or families).

Perth is lovely. Yeah the river is pretty screwed, but 200 years of mismanagement of an enormous agricultural catchment area will do that to most waterways... The night-life´s not that exciting, but it´s the people that make the place, and while they may be small-minded and parochial at times, Perth´s people are easygoing, friendly and more diverse than you might anticipate