h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Life is chaotic, unfair and unpredictable. Accept it.

Someone will always step on your toes, not caring is better than getting obsessed with paying back.

Be nice to people on your way up- you'll meet them again on your way down.

Never stick your head in a tigers mouth and tap it repetitively on the nose with your index finger

In the so called "sunscreen song" (Everybody´s free to wear sunscreen) Baz Luhrman gives loads of cool and wise advice. some of them are:
- do one thing every day that SCARES you. I have tried this and it is amazing how you sort of GROW when you overcome your silly fears.
- DO NOT READ BEAUTY MAGAZINES- THEY WILL ONLY MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY!!
- be nice to your siblings, they are the best link to your past and the persons most likely to stick to you in the future
- respect your parents, you never know when they will be gone for good

shalom. CCG.

Do one thing every day that scares the person your stalking

"Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to."

"He who dies with the most toys, wins"

Although if you want a serious one, how about:

"Blessed is he who can laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be amused" (it's the one I follow )

My golden rules.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Men and women are different.
Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.
Moderation is good, but boring.

And for comedy -
Don't suffer from insanity. Enjoy every minute of it.

In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

That's more of an aphorism than a golden rule, I think. Then again, so were mine...

Never smoke a cigarette whilst stood in a barrel of petrol

Never base a mission critical system on a beta of a new development system.

Yes, I suppose you're right Marduk. Now I'll have to think of something else. How about this:

If I'm surrounded by nit wits, I won't be vexed, I'll be grateful. There (at the bottom of the pile) but for the bumbling idiots, go I.

There must be a better way of putting that, but you get the idea.

Ah! ... are we getting to the ultimate answer to the question of L, the U and E? Something to do with Dilbert?

There are more Dilberts than answers.

oo - OO --OO I got one!

Never marry a Trillionaire.

Yeright Sal...
inflation everywhere.

How about "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?"

Nah, too cliched.

(how do you get the little accent thingy atop the "e"?)

- If a thing is worth doing it's worth doing well, if it's _really_ worth doing it's worth doing badly.

- The house will still be dirty tomorrow, but your children will be grown up and not want to do finger painting with you anymore

Tube: what's the German version of the deer thing, I still don't get it?

Sho

The German Deer thingy:
Ein Reh ohne Scham ist ohne Anmut.

That's why I was able to come up with the "shame"-mix-up of meanings. Coming to think about it, "A doe that is not shy is gracelss" might be a better translation, not?

Do unto others before they do unto you.

A more elegant translation could simply be: The timidity of a deer is its greatest attraction. Marduk - there's a whole official page of how-to-dos on this: (but it only applies to GuideML and HTML) http://www.h2g2.com/A266951 Otherwise, we have been collecting them in the German Class, maybe you can work from there: http://www.h2g2.com/F59873?thread=96034

Which leads to my other golden rule: never translate anything!!!!!