h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have an idea for my Dungeons & Dragons campaign. The characters are in the Feywild, which I interpret as the land of fairy-tales and stories, where heroes always face challenges and emerge triumphant, and villains always get their comeuppance.
The party are just about to defeat an evil sorceror (of course) and my plan is that, when they do, the benevolent ruler of the region will appear Deus Ex Machina-style and tie up all the loose ends.
Now, here's my idea: he speaks entirely in song lyrics! I will then have a bit of a mini-game at the end of the session where the party will get experience for every one they can identify. So, he will begin as follows:
"Please allow me to introduce myself: I'm Mr Brightside." This, of course, puts the Rolling Stones and The Killers on the list from the outset, and I would continue in similar fashion.
The thing is, it paints me into something of a corner. I thought it would be easy, but a lot of things one might want to say don't quite match any song.
This is where I could do with your help. I need to paraphrase the following, in lyrics a bunch of fairly well-read millenials might recognize:
"I am the ruler of this region. I am grateful to you for defeating my enemy because, while I am powerful, I cannot stop other beings with power from sneaking over and digging in. I know that you are seeking: a way out of this land. I will take you there shortly, but first, I must free the children the evil sorceror has enslaved with enchantments."
If the odd anachronism slips in, the whole will be all the better for it, as I aim for him to be a rather bewildering fellow. Too much modernism, though, might ruin it.
So, any thoughts, for part or all of it?

Whilst I know not a sausage about dungeons and dragons I'm sure my rock collection may come up with a few lyrics....mmmmm thinks.....

Treason, treason, the spectre looms again
Treason, reason, the realm is safe and then
Oh no, move away from harm
I need a spell and a charm

Kill the King , Rainbow

" it paints me into something of a corner" [Just Bob]

I don't like being painted, as getting the paint off is hard.

You see what I mean? You would have thought that, given the prevalence of boasting in rap, it would not be so difficult to find a paraphrase for "I'm in charge around here", but I can't think of one that quite fits.

The albums Queen, Queen II and A Kind of Magic sprang to my mind when I read your text, but I'm not sure there is a very good fit...

Princes of the Universe... I have the power... they've taken an arm and taken a leg... some day one day we'll come home... I follow every course... I am forever searching high and low... it's a kind of magic...

Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But the castle’s crumbled
And you’re left with just a name

Okay, here is what I have so far:
"Please allow me to introduce myself: (1) I'm Mr Brightside. (2) I'm the King of Wishful Thinking (3a): fairyland (4).
It's not easy being (5) in charge of the world. (6) Magic (7), Warlords (8), Demons (9); everything goes around here. (10) You can have anything you want, but (11) you got to fight for it. (12) I guess that's why they call it (13) Wishful Thinking (3b). I've tried so hard... (14)"

That's a start, but I still need to cover how the evil sorceror imprisoned him in sleep, and he has only just woken because the sorceror has been defeated. He could turn and address the empty chair (Clint Eastwood style), so 'he' or 'you' lyrics can be made to fit...
Still needs some work.

1. Sympathy For the Devil, The Rolling Stones
2. Mr Brightside, The Killers
3a & 3b. King of Wishful Thinking, Go West (or New Found Glory, it would appear)
4. Fairy Land, Kula Shaker (not too happy with this one, it's an obscure B-side. I'd prefer something more well-known that references the land of fairies, or something similar)
5. It's Not Easy Being Green, The Muppets
6. Hypnotised, Terrorvision
7. It's a Kind of Magic, Queen
8. Warlord, Taberah
9. War of the Gods, Amon Amarth
10. Aisha, Death in Vegas
11. Welcome To the Jungle, Guns n Roses
12. Stand For Something, Skindred
13. I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues, Elton John
14. In The End, Linkin Park

Just edit the following together from mp3s in Audacity or similar:

"I am the ruler of this region."

I'm the king of the swingers, yeah - the Jungle Book soundtrack.

"I am grateful to you for defeating my enemy"

and I want to thank you - for giving me the best day of my life - Dido.

"because"

Because - Patti Smith

"while I am powerful" - I am the captain of this ship, Dave Mathews Band.

"I cannot stop other beings with power from sneaking over and digging in" - I used to have demons in my room at night Desire, despair, desire... SOOO MANY MONSTERS! - No more I love you's, Annie Lennox.

"I know that you are seeking:" - I know what you want, you know I got it - Busta Rhymes.

"a way out of this land" - got to get out of this place - the Animals.

"I will take you there" - If only there were time enough, Or word enough, or rhyme enough, I would take you there: I will take you there, Harry Nillson.

"shortly, but first, I must free the children" - Little children today are really gonna suffer tomorrow
Oh what a shame, such a bad way to live
All who is to blame, we can't stop livin'
Live, live for life
But let live everybody
Live life for the children
Oh, for the children
You see, let's save the children
Let's save all the children

Marvin Gaye.

" the evil sorceror has enslaved with enchantments." - it's a kind of magic, Queen.

Stitch all that together, it should be nicely confusing while still being more or less comprehensible.

Thanks, that's almost exactly the kind of stuff I am looking for.

You might also (having spent the half hour or so it would take to stitch that speech together, assuming you have all the mp3s to hand) choose to set up some preset answers to questions to permit some limited interaction. Invite questions from the players, and in response offer:

"Yes" - chorus of "Yes" by LMxAO. (Filter doesn't allow me to type the correct name of the band)

"No" - start of the chorus of "No Limit" by 2Unlimited (just the word "No" repeated 12 times)

I leave "maybe"'s and other possible answers to your imagination.

I had ideas of that kind. I wouldn't be using the actual music though: I read it out in a neutral accent. This has the added benefit of allowing me to provide my own emphasis.

Fair enough. However, if all you're saying is "Yes" or "No" it's not necessarily obvious that those are LYRICS. Better, imho, to make that explicit for *short* answers by playing the actual song clip, and making the song as universally recognisable as possible. Otherwise it doesn't seem consistent.

But hey, it's your game.