h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's it, really. The question is in the subject.

I haven't. But my mum has. That gives me a strange hypersensitivity to being abused.

I'm not really sure what to say. I just thought it might be a useful discussion to have, and a good place to have it.

h2g2 can be so useful because it's anon (ish) but we all still know you.

Can we help? What's happening (*offers *)

I hope no one's in trouble here. I really can't add anything to the conversation, though, I'm afraid.

I had a kinda abusive relationship, many many years ago now, in my mid-late teens, with a female... was mainly psychiological abuse, but, well, guess I was young and coudln't kinda resist her, despite the constant abuse, but it was the right thing, when eventually I let my brain overrule other considerations and ended the relationship with her I guess she was kinda messed up at the time, and, TBH I ws too probably... and we were both kinda abusing drugs/booze at the time rather havily...

No, no one's in trouble this end, TC. I just thought it might be a useful discussion to have. I do understand it's a hard discussion.

"Abusive" also covers a multitude of areas. As I mentioned in a journal several years ago, I was about 50 when I realised how mucked up I was by the way my father treated me when I was younger. He didn't intend to, he didn't physically hurt me either, but he left scars on my psyche that made my life a misery for nearly half a century.

Otherwise, my life has been so sheltered that I have only encountered people being beaten up, raped, or terrorised in the newspaper or in fiction.

Yes.

Now that I think of it, not just one.

I came to think about one ex, who wasn't violent during the relationship, just terribly apathetic and lacking initiative (letting your mum apply for jobs for you, at age 20?). We were about to move in together for starting Uni, but I had this late night revelation, that: No. That would be a really bad idea.
But after the breakup, he wouldn't stop calling me, or my parents.
I accidentally came across him in the Uni town, and he tried to make me tell where I lived now. Which I was careful not to let him know.
And then he stalked me back to my student house. He rang the door to my floor, and I wouldn't let him in. He persisted for about half an hour, or so. Then someone let him into the corridor, while I was hiding in my room. So he stood outside the door to my room, knocking, trying to make me open, for another half hour, until he gave up. Or someone asked him to leave, but I don't think so.
This was before mobile phones, and the only phone I had access to was a payphone out in the corridor. So I had no way of asking for help, or anywhere to go, but stay in my room.
Finally, I got out, snuck away to the railway station and took the train home to my parents. Shaking.

QN.