h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did anyone ever give you bad advice with regard to the opposite sex?

For example:

A friend of mine was told that a wee bit of toothpaste on the tip of the tongue excites the ladies during oral sex so, when the opportunity presented itself, he nipped into the bathroom and put a wee daud on his tongue. Then he put another wee bit on. Then, figuring you can't have too much of a good thing, he added some more. By the time he returned to the bedroom he couldn't open his mouth in case any fell out so, skipping any chatting, he dived straight into the matter at hand.

He didn't get any sex that night as the poor girl felt like she'd been stung by a bee the size of a horse.

How about you? Was putting on an accent to French kiss a mistake?

Reminds me of the old trick with half an Alka Seltza and an ice cube!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good grief, did that guy never brush his teeth. Toothpaste BURNS.

Deb

That men who don't like football like cricket.

On my first date with my husband he admitted to having no interest what so ever in football. So I regaled him with stories of cricket matches I'd attended assuming he was a cricket fan and wanting to impress. He assumed I was a cricket fan and much of our early courting was done to a background of R4 long wave cricket commentary before one of accidentally admitted to a lack of passion for cricket.

It was implied through much of my childhood and adolescence (in media, films etc) that gentlemen don't like a lady to have a proper, round bum (this was mostly in the 80s and 90s so slim and athletic was the ideal, fashionwise).

Living in a very multicultural area for the latter part of this time, I discovered this was as deeply untrue as one could get. I learned my disdain of fashionable shapes then...

But, everyone likes a nice round bum...

Well, yes... But that's a fact, not fashion

Yes. I was repeatedly advised that women went for men who were respectful, kind, generous, honest and thoughtful.

What was omitted from this advice was that the women who go for those sort of men are the ones who can't do any better. The *attractive* women, the women men might actually want, are demonstrably interested only in unstable, violent, deceitful b'tards, at least until they're safely impregnated. Only at that point do they suddenly develop an interest in someone who'll be able to pay the mortgage.

"everyone likes a nice round bum"

Culturally biased, much?

While I wouldn't go as far as say you were an 'unstable, violent decietful b'tard' I would still rate your pulling power with 'the *attractive* women, the women that men might actually want' as pretty good then

or are you bemoaning the fact they don't stay after failing to impregnate themselves with your highly sought after sperm?

perhaps hoo it saying he is a nice charming gentleman who is fed up of seeing attractive young women throw themselves at the worst possible choice of man only to regret it later

"I would still rate your pulling power [...] as pretty good"

Don't know me very well, do you? This degree of bitter misogyny doesn't derive from a history of outstanding success.

On reflection that should read "bitter misanthropy", for reasons I hope are obvious.

*looks up misanthropy*

I should have qualified my first response with 'based on your behaviour in this forum'

no I don't know you Hoo and don't pretend too, your posts here are all I have to base my posts on

back to the misanthropy, I get it that you hate people pretty much equally and this just happened to be a another bitter Hoo post about women

if it helps if you said it about men I would equally narked

Did anyone ever give you bad advice with regard to the opposite sex?

It was suggested to me that men did not like women who were more or less like me. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

I think the worst advice I've been given was anything that gave the impression (deliberately or otherwise) that women were (a) some kind of alien species or culture; (b) a homogeneous group that could be generalised about without careful qualification; or (c) both.