A Conversation for Ask h2g2

Help with de-jargonising some text

Post 1

I'm not really here

Sellling dog related services.

How can I say 'you chose the wrong breed, stupid' on a 'pre-purchase advice' banner without sounding all accusing and using words a pet owner would understand.

Do they even know different breeds have different breed traits for example?

This is what I've got so far... "The biggest reason puppies are given up is behaviour problems, caused by commercial breeders putting money before your puppy's health and welfare, lack of training at an early age, or the breed that was chosen didn't suit the needs of the family."


Help with de-jargonising some text

Post 2

Peanut

I would change or the breed didn't suit the needs of the family,

to or the breed that was chosen was not compatible with the needs of the family.

Just emphasise what should be considered when chosing a breed, when you are choosing which breed of dog you would like, you will need to consider...


Help with de-jargonising some text

Post 3

You can call me TC

I would use bullet points or split the sentence up a bit more to make it clear that the breeders are only responsible for the first reason given. The buyers/family/future dog owners are at fault in the other two. And I agree with Paul about using "compatible".


Help with de-jargonising some text

Post 4

Z

I would use this service if I was buying a dog.

'I can help you choose the breed of dog that would be happiest living with you and your family?


Help with de-jargonising some text

Post 5

I'm not really here

Thanks, I'll bear that in mind I have already sent the text over, but she will be sending it back to me to proof it. I'll see what she comes up with. smiley - biggrin


Help with de-jargonising some text

Post 6

Hoovooloo


"The biggest reason puppies are given up is behaviour problems.

These are most commonly caused by:

- commercial breeders putting money before a puppy's health and welfare

- lack of training (for dog and owner!) at an early age

- owners choosing a breed whose traits are not compatible with their lifestyle or needs"


Help with de-jargonising some text

Post 7

Alfster

The biggest reason is: the owners...as they are complicit in the other reasons stated...they can work out what dog is best for them, they can see whether a breeder is going for the cash...and they can definitely work out whether they are training the dog...i.e. ask the question: 'Am I taking my dog for obedience training?' YES/NO (Delete as applicable) as the only way you'll know if your dog is behaving correctly is if you get trained in training it.


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