h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

With thanks to Recumbentman for the title.

So you're abroad somewhere and you find a restaurant or a bar which is supposed to be typical of the country you come from.

You go in and try the wares. But it's nothing like home.

The subject line was prompted by the fact that these days, even Italians in Italian restaurants outside Italy have given in to the cringe-making pronunciations of words like "Bruschetta".

So what else do Italians find strange in so-called "Italian" restaurants elsewhere in Europe, the States, etc. Or Irish find most un-Irish about "Irish pubs" wherever they may find them?

Something that you are not likely to find in a "pub" outside the UK is a place where you can stand around and have your drink in a large, close group - it's all tables and chairs, and you're expected to sit in an orderly fashion. As a consequence of sitting at the table, you run a tab and pay when you leave. This stifles any chances of mixing with other people or groups of people, or just casually having a quick pint (or half litre) and then moving on. People moving from table to table will cause confusion and chaos with the waiters, trying to keep tabs on the tabs.

Also, of course, the waiter service is not compatible with groups of people standing willy-nilly around the room.

A German colleague once said to me that he thought it was a sign that he was not trusted if he was expected to pay for every drink as he bought it at the bar, and before he'd drunk it!

Another example that springs to mind is the Chop Suey thing - wasn't there something about the Chinese inventing this in New York to suit the locals' palettes? And that it's not really Chinese cuisine?

As for "Indian" restaurants catering for Western habits and tastes - I can't begin to imagine what a culture shock they must be for real Indians.

I've never been to a "German" restaurant outside Germany (for obvious reasons) - but, maybe, in the interest of research, I should....

Any recommendations?

I'm not Italian, but I have often wondered why 'panini' became singular when it joined the English language.

~*~Another example that springs to mind is the Chop Suey thing - wasn't there something about the Chinese inventing this in New York to suit the locals' palettes? And that it's not really Chinese cuisine?~*~

Could be. I believe that's true of Fortune Cookies, in any case. Out of curiosity, apart from fast-food joints, are there such things as "American" resurants outside of America?

>>are there such things as "American" resurants outside of America?<<

Sure. They're called MCD or KFC or BK

I think those come under the heading "fast food joints".

American restaurants in the UK are usually of the "fake diner" types - Frankie & Benny's, Fatboys Diner, TGI Friday's etc.

RF

Yep, even in my tiny one-horse-town we have an "American Diner"

French restaurants in the UK... A synonym for 'overpriced, snobbish and condescending'.

When Taco Bell expanded into Mexico it had to style itself as American food, which makes me laugh.

I find there are two kinds of Indian restaurants in the UK: the ones in Bradford and Birmingham, and the ones everywhere else.

I exaggerate, but only slightly.

We've a mix here where I live certainly on the Chinese takeaway/resturant front.... There are the typical 'British' Chinese takeaways, but also a second type which is largely just full of Chinese people dining and getting food, and where the food is noticably differnt to the 'british' chinese takeaways
I'm not sure unfortuantely that the same can be said for our Indian takeaways; though having eaten Indian food in various citys, including but not limited to London, Norwich, Lowestoft, Cambridge, Bradford, Leeds, Manchester, Bristol, Bermingham, and some other very small middle of nowhere villages... it really doesn't alter a great deal anywhere
Is it too early in the day to consider a madras for breckfast?

Only if you have a Kingfisher with it.

If you have it with a it's fine for breakfast.

The Dude realises he's never been in a German restaurant. Are they any good? Are the waiters uber-efficient and do the courses all arrive on time? Can the Dude mention the war?

The Dude's been in Jewish restaurants - are they the same thing?

What's a Jewish restaurant? In Israel, I remember each country of origin having its own restaurant (within the kosher stipulations), but it's ages since I was there. Perhaps they've homogenised a bit now.

Anyway, from my experience, the food must be lousy, but the pastries are .

I'm not sure if there is such a thing as a "German" restaurant outside Germany - but I'm sure that people have "Beer Gardens" and "Beer Festivals" and "Oktoberfest"-like things.

I haven't tried any (I tend to do in Rome what the Romans do, not look for reproductions of what I can find at home) - but I'll bet they don't do Leberkäs right, or Brezel for that matter.

When I was showing my cousin from Canada around Germany, I was trying to make her eat the local stuff which she couldn't know. I succeeded up to a point, but she was still keen to try "A Schnitzel". That's just a piece of meat, which is no different from a piece of meat anywhere. There were other delicacies on the menu, which no one from outside the country could possibly have heard of.

I've not seen a German restaurant in the UK, but we once had an office Xmas party at the Tiroler Hut in Bayswater:

http://www.tirolerhut.co.uk/home.html

I'm sure it's authentic - cow bells, lederhosen, accordions and Sound of Music singalongs!

I would love to see what an English themed restaurant was like....



B

Most Germans have never heard of the Sound of Music.

Austrians have only heard of it because of the herds of Anglo-Saxon tourists who come to Austria looking for the places in the film.

I found the Indian restaurants in Bradford and Birmingham unremarkable.

Does any other country have real ale? Because that is a necessity for a certain type of "English Pub", and if you don't have proper beer, your English pub just won't work.

Alternatively, you could just take away all the tables and chairs, sell vast quantities of various flavours of lager, alcopops, and shooters, then throw everyone out at the same time to have a fight. That'd give you an authentic "English Pub" experience.

RF

The Dude has heard rumours of a St Trinians style restaurant in London.

The Dude approves

I've had Chinese food in several countries, a few decades ago it was even more fun. Since 'exotic' products are now more easily available worldwide, some of the most outstanding differences seem to have disappeared.

Chinese food in the UK in the 1960s. Most dishes could be ordered 'regular' or 'special' (special had a fried egg on top, I've never seen this anywhere else). London Chinatown, similar to Chinatowns throughout the world in presentation but food hit or miss.

Germany, in the 1970s. There was a huge amount of rice on a plate, in a ring, and the 'dish' was served in the middle. The (overseas) Chinese I was with thought it great, not so much for the dish (unlike anything he'd tasted before) but for the amount of rice.

Italy, in the 1970s. With the same friend if I recall correctly. They started by appologising for the non-Asian quality of the food. Very so-so but they were generous with the booze.

Spain, 1970s (maybe early 1980s?). Greasy, chopped and fried up mess of food but they said we could have as much rice as we wished.

France : Paris Chinatown. For many years the 'Chinese' here were people of Chinese extraction born in Thailand, Cambodia..... and many dishes reflected these 'mixed' origins. Outside Chinatown and outside Paris : small bowls of rice always served apart (bowls seem to get smaller over time), rest on plate although communal-type dishes occasionally found.

Japan (1980s): in Yokohama Chinatown, the best ever. Soooooo tasty.
Japan outside Chinatown, a small town : Japanese influence on presentation, less food on plate, just not the same somehow.

China (early 1980s): difficulties ordering, loads of soup when you least expected it. Some seemingly un-Chinese type things (a thick meaty broth for ex.). In designated for foreigners resturants, lots of fish and meat but hard to 'find' vegetables or order them as a separate dish.

Hong Kong : expensive food extravaganzas or smaller places, always (in my limited experience) Cantonese.

USA/Canada (late 1960s): egg rolls (never seen them like that anywhere else), fortune cookies (US invention I believe), 'service with a smile', 'American' portions

Made myself hungry