h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In general, why do men seem to have so much more trouble 'opening up' and generally communicating than women? Any opinions?

Because they are arses.

Why is 'opening up' always considered a good thing?

Why arn't men allowed to be men anymore? What is it with all this politicaly correct men cying at the drop of a hat, metrosexual, femine side 'opening up' nonsense.

oh I know they're arses Mina, bt surely even arses can manage a conversation!??

I don't necessarily mean like that bubba-fretts,just in the sense of being able to talk..about anything!

I think women are more open about feelings (particularly depression) becuase the monthly cycle (and pmt) makes it *okay/permissible* (trots off to find thesaurus) to feel bad.

I can talk about... ...stuff - just keep the emotions out of it.

I think it will vary from man to man - and I think some females also have problems opening up too.

Personally, I have difficulty being aware of my emotions and motivations, despite having read some good behavioural analysis books. I can quite happily sulk and not realise I am. My poor partner has to blow her top before I even realise there is anything wrong.

because they think they know it all already and stand up for themselves with big egos

and we women its in our nature to care more for one another and open up

My experience of many happy (ugh no) years in an office environment has taught me there's a fine line between being compassionate about another human being and merely trying to gather information for gossip fodder.

I've discovered after being married to -hubs for a long-ish time, that quite often I can make a very good educated guess at what he's communicating - especially when he's not speaking, but also when he's saying one thing and meaning another.

So, since he's now convinced that I'm telepathic, he rarely tries to communicate anything at all. Perhaps that's what it is with all men: they're sure we women are telepathic, and thus there is no need to actually say anything at all.

<--- we really need one of those

Mina's right, btw, they are arses

I find from experience that though women say, that they want men to be more in touch with their emotions and such. But when a guy actually does these things, the girl immeadiately loses interest in the guy, and then either 'just wants to be friends' or assumes the guy is gay.

It is therefore in the guys best interest not to reveal their emotions to much lest they become designated with the dreaded term 'Nice Guy.'

It's not so much wanting them to talk about feelings - talking about anything would be good!

Men seem to be uninterested in the sort of small talk in which women indulge. So long as a man is interested in a topic, he'll converse happily.

I just get fed up with having to initiate any talk about quite basic things like what we're going to to this evening, who's going to be the chauffeur etc.

Some observations:

Women like to talk.

Men like to do.

Women can talk AND do several things at the same time.

Women think it's important to talk about emotions.

Men think it's important to talk about football.

For some men, they can be one and the same thing.

B

Personally speaking, my particular 'stream of consciousness internal dialogue' normally ends up verbal. I don't know why, but I just like to talk.

I talk about this, I talk about that. Basically, I talk.

Some men I know also do this, but not so many as the women I know.

But when it comes down to talking about feelings I can balk at this as well as any man can. It all depends on the conversation.

Sometimes I find, being so verbal, that when trying to communicate my feelings I'll get *this* feeling mixed up with *that* feeling so then I end up trying to express feelings that are all mixed up. At these times it does help if my partner says to me - 'is what you are saying only about *this* or is there also some of *that* confusing the issue?'

Mind you, getting said partner to talk about his own personal feelings is a bit like pulling teeth but I think it's more to do with him not being used to that sort of discussion rather than him not wanting to do that.

Haven't yet tried discussing football with him. Hmmmm . . .

az

feels meneralised....

s from lovely ladies here

I didn't mean to suggest that men are inferior to women in any way, Pheloxi. They're just different.

I think it's to do with how our brains are 'wired'.

There was an interesting programme on tv a few years ago, where they looked at some research that had been done on male and female brain activity.
They compared men, doing traditionally 'female' type jobs with men doing traditionally 'male' type jobs.
Then they looked at women doing 'female' and 'male' jobs.

There were marked differences in the brain activity patterns and it was all fascinating.

It's a well known fact to women (and some men) that men are always wrong. If we don't say anything, we can't say the wrong thing.

My but ultimately pointless since I'm male.

What's wrong with being wrong?

I'm frequently wrong - and survive despite it.

at school we had tile with following text:
"some one does not make mistake, does not learn."
mistake can replace by wrong, I think.

I survive too!

All men are bastards and arses and emotionally insecure and emotionally imputent