h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, food, one of my favourite subjects! My questions is this.. What have you eaten that your really regretted later, why did you eat it in the first place and why did you regret it? I'll go first :

ASbout ten years ago, when I first moved out of home and was fending for myself, I had NOTHING to eat, and was very hungry, so I looked into the back of the cupboard and found a catering sized jar of Cream of Horseradish Sauce. Grabbing a spoon, I indulged! Needless to say, I lived to regret the experience and still get the occasional nightmarish flashback! Other people don't eat beef because of BSE, for me it is the culinary equivalent of negative reinforcement!

So, anything witty, interesting or entertaining on the food front would be great!

I would have to say garlic bread. It is the most gorgeous thing in the world, but absolutely stinks the next day and people avoid you like the plague. I wish they made non-next-day-smelly-garlic bread

I, like many of my race, really love curry. I often get cravings for a nice scorchy vindaloo. This has obvious side effects the next day, but is made worse by one of my other great loves - Guiness. If you want to know all about serious next day stinkiness, try combining these two. World class wind every time.

Well, this may be more of a drug experience, but since nutmeg can be found in many foods, it should qualify as a food experience.

Many, many years ago my best friend was a rather experimental young man, and he had a habit of trying just about anything that might have been rumored to have a halucinogenic/psychotroic effect on the human mind. (He was, at this time, not of drinking age, otherwise this probably never would have happened.)

So he'd heard that nutmeg was supposed to be some sort of narcotic and prepared a tea with several teaspoons of the stuff. He drank it and, to this day, probably has flashbacks! The poor guy was utterly ill, both physically and mentally for several days. He even missed his sister's graduation, which did not exactly go over well with his family. I believe that he told them all that he had food poisoning, and I guess it wasn't exactly a lie.

Please, if anyone ever suggests this to you, DON'T DO IT! Unless, of course you really want to be ill for a while. Hey, I suppose it could be an effective way of getting out of being drafted or something.

I too remember experimenting with nutmeg, and found that it is a wonderful cure for toothache - just chew on a little piece of it, and your mouth will go all numb!

And continuing the topic of spice-related regrets, someone once told me they had accidentally tipped a full pot of cinnamon into a curry they were making. Everyone who ate it apparently blacked out shortly afterwards, because cinnamon has a strong sedative effect.

On a personal note, I lived to regret an egg and tomato salad I once ate on a long ferry crossing. The sea got stormy and the inevitable happened. Fortunately there were plenty of little paper bags to hand, but I couldn't face tomatoes or boiled eggs for almost two years afterwards...

A delicious salad from one of those self service salad bars they have in supermarkets. This thing had every thing under the sun in it, all topped off with delicious blue cheese dressing.

A couple of hours afterwards my backside was flowing like the Amazon. I've since discovered that those places are a feeding frenzy for bacteria. It's obvious when you think about it - inadequate refrigeration + public pawing all over the food = nasty little critters running rampant.

Anyhow, I stay well clear now!

In my early vegetarian days I made cassarol with TVP (textured vegetable protein) OH BOY! I must have made the hole in the ozone layer considerably bigger that night, I wouldn't have though it possible for a human to make that much gas....I steer well clear of TVP and soya now.

My own hole-in-the-ozone layer came after a late night pizza takeaway.

For some reason my topping of choice after 10 pints or so was...

Baked Bean and Sausage.

Dear God; my room smelled like the interior of a Dutch taxi the next morning.

B