h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I know precisely what Victoria's Secret is. You see i have been exposed to the secret and am dumbfounded
each and every time. HOW DO WOMEN UNCLASP THEIR BRAS WITH ONE HAND!!! For me its like trying
to hack into the NSA's mainframe. Everytime things are getting exciting i reach for my girlfriends clasp and am
rewarded with barely restrained laughter. I would like to say i have improved over time, but it still takes me a good
15 seconds of fumbling. Its like the lock to an exotic treasure chest. I dont know if anyone else has had this problem,
but i for one am in favor of replacing the standard clasps with good old Velcro. Who's with me!

you poor man

I used to carry a small pair of scissors.

The Artist formerly known as Researcher 103670: Oh, wow!!!
Anonymous Researcher: Like to see more?
The Artist formerly known as Researcher 103670: Allow me!
Anonymous Researcher: What was that sound.
The Artist formerly known as Researcher 103670: Ummm...I think your bra just burst out the back...
Anonymous Researcher: That's never happened before...
The Artist formerly known as Researcher 103670: Oh yeah...It happens all the time.
Anonymous Researcher: How many times has this happed to you...
The Artist formerly known as Researcher 103670: Oh, wow!!!

Similarly, when undoing a ladies "body thingy" at the crotch with your teeth, be sure to ascertain whether it uses hooks or press-studs. Rest assured, if it is attached with hooks, no amount of toothy tugging will unfasten it.

Indeed, a degree of depilation will occur followed by a ringing sound in your ears.

It is a little known fact that Houdini died during a stunt where he tried to escape from a buried coffin covered in women's bras. Sadly the challenge proved too much for him.