h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Botox?

thats more of a tightening effect though...i could strap some meat onto the back of my finger, then inject botox to make it tight to my finger, and paint it a fleshy colour of course...otherwise that idea would be daft

Sausages would be good (raw).

yeah, but then you get people thinking you're a leper or something

Make sure you use very strong adhesive and avoid wild gestures, and you'll be fine.

shopping list:

sausages
super glue (not pritt stick)
botox
rubber bands (if the plan backfires)
paint (flesh colour)
perfume to cover smell
dog deterrant

Don't get the skinl;ess ones. If I were you, I'd head for the chipolata counter. Otherwise you'd have to wear a curtain ring.

i've already bought em

new shopping list:
curtain ring

i nearly lost my ring the other day, i found it in my moms bag...wonder what i was doing there ?

The kids that serve you scoops of ice cream from the shop always seem to have powerful hands and forearms.

so i should give up my current job and start an icecream business?

find a way of developing really big callouses on that finger..

Prolonged bouts of table football are excellent for promoting callouses.

When I was in Oxford, we played religiously, and my right hand was invariably a mass of hard skin

B

I've already spent an hour wrapping cotton around the ring but it looked shockin and came unwound....

I think 2legs's initial answer was the best

That's a novelty. 2legs having a sensible answer...

B

where's he been lately?

Probably panicking about having to organise the London Meet.

B