h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I would very much like to "Ask H2G2" if there is a way you can tell what a satsuma is going to taste like before you eat it.

By this I mean that satsumas kinda fall into 3 categories:

1. Watery
2. Sweet
3. Sharp

...and hands up the wierdos who likes the watery ones.

The outer appearance ie 'Shade of Orange' is the same whatever the taste, and so I'm wondering if I should be looking for a certain aroma that could determine the nature of the peel's contents. Or is there a level of squeezability I should be able to exert that could indicate I have hit upon the ideal satsuma.

Is there any way a Satsuma can give up its secrets...?

Ok, in my experience, the watery ones have a very tight skin, the sharp ones have a very loose skin, and the sweet ones are kind of inbetween, with a lighter skin colour. In addition, there appears to be a slightly vanilla type tang to the sweet ones skin.

The sweet ones have a squeezable constituency of about this much ............

The watery ones have a squeezable consituency of about this much ....................

The sharp ones have a squeezable constituency of about this much ........

Of course, the rules change completely when your dealing with tangerines, so be careful out there.

And to make use of another sense - what about smelling them? I haven't tested this hypothesis yet with satsumas, but it definitely works with apples.

I think the only sense we haven't covered is hearing - hold the specimens up to your ear, and if your bable fish is sufficiently evolved you may learn a lot.

And finally, a potentially useful suggestion. I've had some quite good experiences of fruit testing in supermarkets - I have innocently asked about new ranges and spent a few happy minutes sharing one of everything with the shelf stacker. The employees are told that customer care is v. important, and anything is more interesting than filling shelves. So my suggestion - ask to try before you buy.

J

And how can you tell which ones are going to be dodgy - particularly that weird papery cotton woolyness that they sometimes develop? I have had no luck with the loose skin / tight skin test.

You are SOOOOO.... right.

There is, in my humble experience, no correlation between outer appearances and inner quality.

You can buy a bag (orange hair-net thing) of Satsumas that all LOOK (Oh yes, 'LOOK') the same, but are as diverse in taste as a box of chocolates (quite a good analogy there I feel).

You just can't tell. Unless some scientist boffin invents some form of probe which you can surrupticiously insert in the Satsuma to gauge its acidity/sweetness.

Hang on, what a great idea for a Patent... a Litmus test for satsumas. But how could they tell a Sweet one from a Woolly/Watery one by just the acidity?

Answers on a postcard please.

What is really the most important thing when it comes to the taste of any citrus-fruit is: Never brush your teeth before eating a satsuma/tangerine/orange! The toothpaste makes the fruit taste really bad...

Thank you.

This is very true.

But it doesn't help with my problem in hand.

How can you tell what a Satsuma will taste like without peeling and eating it?

Here's something I noticed the other day.

I was in Sainsbury's, doing my regular shopping, looking for some satsumas. I spy on the shelf what appears to be a bag of satsumas. However, Sainsbury in his wisdom has labelled them "Citrus".

At this point I will declare, I have no idea what the difference is between the various fruits which to me appear rather similar in nature - satsuma, tangerine, clementine, etc.

So is this fact something which Sainsbury has noticed, and as a result, instead of confusing shoppers such as myself which differing names for different fruits, has decided to name them just: Citrus?

To make matters worse, on the next shelf there was some other citrus fruit that was simply labelled "Easy Peelers". Does nothing have a real name any more?