h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As a follow up to my other conversation Low fare airlines
I thought I would start this new one ,and ask

Of all the airlines you have ever flown with which do you think was the best, and which the worst, and why?

Worst: Monarch, ended up delayed for 12 hrs on a monarch plane back from spain (a 14 day fieldtrip from hell). There was a problem with the plane so they got another plane flown in, which had a problem too, we ended up on an icelandic plane. My parents had exactly the same experiences with monarch (two planes broke ending up on an icelandic flight) flying from somewhere else (can't remember where). I get the impression they're just stretched to the limit and so when the slightest thing goes wrong there are no mechanisms to solve the problems and the passengers suffer.

*likes Icelandair for the reason they are able to bring her to Iceland*

There was some airline with the name "Spantax" in the 70s, they were quite famous for being extremly horrible, as far as I remember...

worst = Air France, KLM long haul.

Best = Air Emirates, Iberia.

How about best and worst airports while we're at it?

Brussels, Heathrow are my candidates for worst.

Copenhagen and Vienna for best.

*lol* Does anybody remember how "The long dark tea-time of the soul" starts? That there is no such phrase on earth like "beautiful like an airport"?

Anyway, the only really really cosy airport I know is Keflavík - small, crowded, lots of wood and plants.

My true opinions of Heathrow and British Airways would get me so heavily moderated that I'd never get back on site. There used to be a game where airlines' initials were expanded into a phrase, eg. UAA was "use another airline", BOAC (that tells you how long I've been flying) was "better on a camel". I don't need to tell you what BA stands for.
No long haul line is any cop compared to life in the 60s and 70s; even KLM has greatly reduced its standards from the days when a steward would carry a baby up and down the aisle for half an hour or make up a bed on the floor under the seats for a toddler (it's probably against international rules these days, but the general helpfulness standard has gone - I feel sorry for the young parents I see coping almost alone for 13 hours)
I did Hong Kong to Europe three times last year. No, I didn't enjoy any of those. People who ask "Did you have a good flight?" have obviously not done a long haul in the last ten years. The last flight I really liked was a short haul from Manchester to Dublin on New Year's Eve 1999 - Aer Lingus, I think.

Hmm, quite liked Quantas - Bahrain to UK was actually quite bearable (except they keep waking you up to feed you every two hours

Worst - Does the RAF count? Being sat in the back of a Hercules Transport for hours on end is a real pain in the butt! Literally - sitting in cargo netting, no catering, a portaloo and so much noise you can't here yourself think.

Worst airport... Lyon - just coz, everytime I use it to leave France I forget one important thing... once you've gone through passport control there is absolutely nothing on the other side... after wandering round the single duty free shop (which 99.9% of passengers can't use anyway nowadays!) there's no cafe, no bar, no restaurant, nothing! the only amenity available is a coffee machine, selling the worst coffee I've ever tasted in France at an extortionate price!

Best civil aviation airport. Andennes - Norway loved it for one reason - it's that small it's cute One single building stuck in the corner of a military airfield... The aircrew and customs guy all double up as baggage handlers - Getting from the plane to the taxi takes all of 4 minutes and about 40 metres. The only one problem I had was, being a real tourist I tried to take a photo of the Island on final approach.. only to have the stewardess come over to me in a total panic telling me to put the camera away... Didn't realise why until I looked out over the airfield and saw loads of US, British and Norwegian military aircraft scattered all over the field... taking photos of that particular airport tends to get you locked up for spying

Luxair - they're great.

One [insert current PC name for the pretty girls in blazers on planes here] offered me her packed lunch when I said I didn't like the salmon mousse they were serving on the 40 minute flight I was on.

Oh, did you say budget airline?

Liam.

I have had trouble with Monach too, they asked for folk to forgo their meal on a 6? hour flight because they had forgotten to pack half the dinners or something!

Short Haul
Budget: Ryan have been a problem, Easy jet were fine.
Others: British Midland aren't as good as they think they are BA are reasonable, if pricy

I'd like to re-enforce the 'Monarch are crap' thing- flown with 'em twice- took twice as long as it should on both occasions

Oh and the Icelandair plane was lovely when it arrived....it just took 12 hrs for monarch to get a working plane.

btw: I enjoyed all domestic flights in Iceland, but I don't remember the names of the small airlines I was on.

Virgin Atlantic's Premium Economy is well worth the extra cost on long haul flights, it has completely spoiled me for anything else.

Anyone else remember Court Airlines? Their aircraft livery was various alarming shades of psychedelic stripes and were more like cattle trucks than aircraft.

The worst flights were ones through the air corridors to Berlin in the cold war days. The aircraft had to fly at a set height which usually meant flying straight through any turbulence and could be rather hair raising.

Reminds me of a _joke_ I heard about flying over the ex-Soviet Union...

In the rest of the world, airliners are directed by air-traffic controllers and radars and fly along pre-arranged 'corridors'... In the USSR the pilot is just given a course and altitude on a piece of paper... if he deviates at all from either of these the aircraft is joined by a Mig fighter on either wing - it lands at the nearest available airport, the passengers continue their journey by bus and the pilot is never seen again!

Anyone ever had the misfortune to travel by Aeroflot?

Time to spare? Go by air!

Never ever fly Air Chance. BA suck too, though having said that they were better than Quantas when I came back from Oz.

Airports?

Heathrow is the 6th pit of hell.

I like Birmingham, small and sweet. And Bristol is similar, but has more holiday makers who tend to slow the whole process down rather a lot.

Copenhagen is retail heaven, but involves an awful lot of walking. Actually I have some rather fond memories of Copenhagen airport. *sigh*. Though on the other hand, I have spent a lot of time waiting there on the passengers-only-side which is rather grim. LHR does at least have decent shops for travellers.

Munich has made no impression on my mind, despite the fact I worked there for 4 months last year which must be a good sign.

Hamburg really is 'beautiful like an airport' - large, airy, easy to get around, effective and functional.

Paris Charles de Gaulle is - well almost as bad as Heathrow. Worse really, being French.

About 20k outside Stockholm Arlanda there is a sign which says: "Tid: - 13.26" (or whatever time it is when you arrive) then "Temp: -10" (or however cold it is at the time) and finally "Fukt: 73%" - which is always a useful statistic to know about the people you are about to do business with.

Ben
Who has spent far too much time at far too many airports...

I was wondering when you'd turn up in this thread Ben

He he he he he!

I was stuck in a holding pattern over London for a while!

Oh - maybe I do dislike BA - I left a book on the plane, and then asked them to check it out about 40 minutes after we had landed - nada - nix- nowt - nuttin'.

B

Who asked about Aeroflot? I did Leningrad-Heathrow (or was it somewhere else?) in July 1979...boy oh boy that was scary. When the stewardesses came round with the trolley they gave everyone a hard stare,almost daring us to want to buy one of the Matroshka dolls.

In 1982 I went Heathrow-Moscow then Leningrad-Heathrow. Very scary too, but I was used to having pre-packed "mystery meat" stroganoff on the planes by then.

But not as bad as all the trips from Hannover-Luton on a RAF VC-10 going to school. The seats have their backs to the direction of flight, and when you take off it feels as though your feet are dangling (like going up the first steep slope of a roller-coaster). But then again, not as bad as a C130.