h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, if they had a fight...who would win?

My money's on Bob Monkhouse personally.

Sounds like one for Celebrity Death Match!
Now there was a great programme - about time it made it to real telly rather than MTV.
Who would win? Yes, I think Monkhouse would have the edge.

tricky, very very tricky let me think Hmm, kind a strange seen this thread before feel about this 'ere question, hmm, how did that thread end up

It only came about because I watch too much daytime TV

It's Monkhouse all the way, I'm afraid, thanks to a quick knee to Des's umentionables when the ref's not looking.

Ah, the oddly tanned one would whup the smug gits arse!

Sorry Egon, you'll have to be more specific there.

Mind you, I would have to get Bruce Forsythe in to ref, so it might not be that easy...

All together now...

NICE TO SEE YOU...

Good game! Good game!

Winner takes on Jimmy Tarbuck in the next round, I hope.

Jimmy Tarbuck vs. Bernard Manning.

Yuck. Grotesque nasty excuses for men.

The prize is a fortnights supply of baby oil.

Oh urgggghhhh!
I do so wish you hadn't put that image into my head...

Perhaps we could have a special bout from the Celebrity Fat/Fit Club health farm?

Awww but don't put 64 year old Ian in it. He's so cute (in an old man struggling way)...

Rik Waller vs the Army fitness coach.

Rik Waller would SO win.

Imagine him in the Himalayas. One faulty slip and we'd all be doomed.

Hmm. Perhaps Saddam Hussein should employ him?

I have a question.

Is this a bare knuckle fight, or a full-blown boxing match, with gloves and head protectors and stuff?

KNUCKLE FIGHT!!!!!!!!

On the beach too, during a thunderstorm. The sea is all grey and angry, the tide is coming in. One of them must win before it reaches the storm barriers, otherwise Bruce Forsythe gets the baby oil AND the victory.

Then we sell them into slavery on the black market.

My money, after careful and diligent consideration of the question, whatever it was, is that, I think, that my prerequisit set of beliefs and values, determine that, the winner must be.
Franky Vourne.

Make sense man! He's not even in the competition!

Oh, you mean it is limited to these two Dudes? sorry, I was following the logic of the George versus Live thread perhaps I should reconsider

I suppose it was foolish of me not to consider the aspects of logic on this site...

Logic? haven't seen any of that for quite some time tricky, very tricky, bob or des, a question eternal indeed

That was my point

I still say Bob Monkhouse would win. He has Wipeout. Des O'Connor only has Des & Mel. What would Melanie Sykes do? Stand on the sidelines and shriek? Bob has the voiceovers and sound effects...