h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How long were you with your special someone before you considered living together? general views on the subject?

Two weeks, however we had been pen-pals and talked on the phone for six or eight months before that, so I don't know how much time that equals in human years.

We lived together for 9 more months before getting married, and this Halloween will be our 9th anniversary.

Awww thats sweet

We were as good as living together after about six months, and decided to sell our separate flats (he never really moved in to his!) and buy a house together after three years. Got married (eventually) after five and a half, the last one and half were planning the wedding...

Why do you ask?

Just curious..

Um, three weeks. Well, together in person - we had known each other on hootoo for about a year and a half previously. Anyhow, it is definitely not the norm, and probably not even recommended, though I hasten to add that Noggin and I are very happy living together (coming up to a year and a half now).

I think we might have preferred to have a more normal 'dating' period had things happened differently, but with the situation of Noggin moving to Spain it really didn't make sense for him to move to a whole new country with a new language to be with his new 'girlfriend' (stupid word) and *then* also have to get his own apartment.

Meanwhile, saying that we might have preferred to do things differently is kind of beside the point as things happened exactly the way they did. And anyhow, there can't really be a 'right' way to go about these things . . . at least I hope there isn't or we're f***ed.


az

So what would be a longish time to go without thinking about it? a year? two?

I don't know, I guess it would depend on your domestic situation a bit and how quickly or slowly your relationship was developing. I know people that have lived apart for a looooong time (many years) before moving in together, and one married couple that haven't managed it yet

Grandad & I had been on nodding terms for 14 years before we started going out, 13 months later I moved in with him, we lived together for just over 12 years and then decided that it was time to get married.

Like the eldest grandchild said, 'About time too'

Odo and I were together for about a year and a half. And we've survived another year and a half as cohabitees, too.

B

The first time? About two weeks. She needed someone to look after the cats while she went to Greenham Common for a week, and, well... I just sort of stayed there for the next five years Dang, we had some grand times in them five years too

I've only ever lived with my husband, and we didn't really choose when we moved in together because I was on the council waiting list. I think I added his name to my application when we'd been together probably just over a year, then finally we got a place just before we'd been together.

I've never lived with anyone else really, although I've been close with partners and discussed living with at least two others, they've always had their own places that they can retreat to and didn't take the plunge and move here properly.

It's not that my hubby was more special than the other men I've loved, but of course, he was the first big love I'd had - I'd never stayed with anyone for more than a few months before him. And of course I was looking to move out of my parents home and wanted to have a baby.

I loved him very much. It just sometimes feels as if now I've got my own place and my son, I don't need a man around to help me, which makes me feel very sad sometimes.

Oh, and I forgot to say, if I'd been with a partner three years and you're still just dating, rather than setting up home together I'd probably think that I wasn't with the right man, but after a year, no.

Some people get together much quicker, as we've seen here, and it works. One of my brothers married his girlfriend after 6 months, although he'd been pestering her to dump her boyfriend and go out with him for ages, and another brother met his girlfriend from Cornwall on the internet, romanced her by text, then moved her to Essex and she'd pregnant for the third time now. I think they hate each other though.

Anyway, for some people it's quick, for others it's slow. My remaining brother is just like me - he's 40 this year, and he never stays with anyone for long either.

From my first post:

I've only ever lived with my husband, and we didn't really choose when we moved in together because I was on the council waiting list. I think I added his name to my application when we'd been together probably just over a year, then finally we got a place just before we'd been together about a week under two years, which felt about right.

One couple I know have been together for eight or nine years and do seem perfectly suited to each other, but they still don't live together. He once remarked that their ideal living situation would be in adjoining semi-detatched houses.

The married couple have been together about six years. He lives in Oxford where his work is, she lives in east london where hers is. They have been talking about sorting it out this year though...

I've thought that the only way I can be with someone for the rest of my life is neighbouring houses. Or, find someone rich enough that they've got enough rooms for me to run away to when I need some space.

4 days after I met my hubbly he moved in.........
we meet through a newspaper ad, dated briefly each of the next days, I was working huge hours (14hr days) he offered to clean my flat and cook me dinner on the third day, I gave him the key, and he never went home again..... we married 11 months later

Ummm, probably about 5 weeks! We were in a very similar position to az and Noggin, he was moving to another country to be with me and I was wandering about in a huge old apartment by myself, so it didn't make sense for him to get his own place. It was cheaper for him to move to Portugal cos the weekly flights and 6 hour phone calls each night were costing a fortune! (BT actually cut him off at one point as his phone bill had gone from an average of £25 a month to over a thousand pounds!!)

We've been living together about 9 months now and we just got engaged on Saturday Planning the wedding for later this year/early next year.

I suppose it depends on your circumstances and how old you are as well. Having been friends for a long time before we got together does help, because you do get to know them as someone you genuinely like, before the hormones take over!!

Congratulations on your engagement

9 months as a friend, and then 8 months in separate countries letter writing, then 12 months long distance relationship (still in separate countries) then 5 months living together, then 18 months long distance relationship (different separate countries), then 5 years living together, married with kid!

sprout