h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Consider this: is a crisp packet easier to carry when it is full or when it is empty? Logic would suggest that an empty packet is lighter than a full one - even given that the mass of crisps is around 25g, or 1oz in English. If that is true, why is it so much more difficult to carry when empty? Why must it be dropped on the ground? Is not the pocket, rucksack etc. that held it when full not adequate to the task of holding it when empty?

Behavioural psycologists might want to tell us that the person has no incentive for holding on to the package once the contents has been consumed; that, like a one-night stand, once gratification is complete the object can be discarded.


I suspect that there is a reason far more weird than this: I suspect that something unusual happens to the gravitational forces within the packet, causing it to become massively heavy as soon as it is empty.


I am not a physicist: I got an "O" level grade for my Physics "A" level, which was a waste of time since I already had an "O" level in Physics and had no need of another one. If any of you out there have nothing better to do than browse around H2G2, you are probably well into theoretical Physics. Give it your best shot, because, as Heisenburg was heard to mutter, "Er, I'm not sure."

It probably has something to do with the silvery plastic that they tend to us in crisp packet manufacture. ("honest, because it's silvery, these crisps are fresher")

Due to the fact that the silvery container once emptied of crisps contains only air. This in turn is somehow heated due to the wonderful silveryness and then starts to rise (stay with me here), so the user/eater has to discard the packet for fear of being carried away into the clouds.

Either that, or they're uncaring sods, who wouldn't know a clean environment if it gave them an enaema.

Ah, there's definitely something odd about crisp packets: have you ever tried that trick of putting an empty crisp packet onto a open fire carefully enough that it doesn't actually burst into flames
{or burn down your house for that matter}
The results is that the crisp packet mysteriously shrinks to 1/8th it's normal size, while remiaining identical to it's unheated state in every way..
I never tried it with a full packet but I can't imagine the results would be edible...
Now, if people would simply build a fire and heat their discarded crisp packets, then we'd still have a problem but on a much smaller scale..

What is a crisp packet? Where might I find one?

I'm going to have to assume that crisps are potato chips, since that's the only thing I can think of
that fits the discription. I, personally, think that the packages tend to be discarded because unless
you jam them into a very small and confining space, they unravel and blow away. I wonder if they
take that into account when they design the packaging for anything. All plastic packages seem to be
unable to remain folded.....

*blink* ... You're probably right, though all this time I was thinking in terms of those long saltine packages.

Potato chips... sounds good to me. I think if we called them "crisps" here in the US, perhaps things would be a lot better. Maybe people would be in a happier mood. I'll call Frito Lay and try to kick the idea around with one of their executives.

Gack! No, please don't! I'm in Canada, and that will definately make it's way here from the States. Between the 'Air Crisps' (poofy crackers, and the 'crispers' (not a chip, not a cracker), life would get REALLY confusing. Potato chips works just fine for me.....

I went to Canada last year, and discovered --- to my HORROR --- that there is a product there labeled "Ketsup Potato Chips" ... this is the most disgusting thing that a human could imaginably do to a chip (or crisp, depending on wherever the hell you're from). Ketsup? I had to try one, and found, just as I had expected, the thing to be downright nasty. I guess it didn't help that I don't really like ketsup to begin with.

That wasn't it, though... in the part of Canada I was in (Quebec City), the McDonald's sold lobster (McHomard) and pizza.

But Canada is, overall, a beautiful and clean place. Aside from the occasional food issue, I loved it. I hope to live there one day.

Ketchup chips? You mean that they don't have ketchup chips in the US? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not big on them either, but I would figure that anything you could sell in Canada would go well in the States. Of course, I was rahter disgusted while I was in New Mexico this summer, and I couldn't get bacon on a burger in McD's. But I could get green chili. Every place has odd food options. Did you try the sour cream and bacon chips?

You'd be surprised at how many things you folks have that we don't. Here's a brief list:

1. Kinder Surprise. Those adorable little chocolate eggs with the orange capsule inside, containing a small--often neat--toy. They have these in Brazil, marketed under the name "Kinder Ovo."

2. Orangle Slice. The soft drink. We used to have it, but for some reason it mysteriously disappeared off our American shelves some time ago, only to be replaced by Minute Maid Orange and Sunkist. Slice rocks, though.

3. Smarties. Now this is rather complex. The "Smarties" that I saw in Quebec were in an oblong box, manufactered by Nestle. The contents were little chocolate discs, much like M&Ms. Very, very odd, becausewe have candy in the US called "Smarties," but they're compressed discs of pure sugar... very tasty.

4. Kit Kat. We have these, but they're MUCH different from their Canadian cousins. The Canadian packaging looks like something that would have been on American store shelves in the 1940s. The overall size and shape are similar, but the taste is startlingly different.

5. Flashing Traffic Signals. I'm not sure if these exist in all parts of Canada, but where I was, the green light would flash maniacally to indicate that it is acceptable to turn left at an intersection. The first time I saw it, I almost called the police to report a malfunctioning traffic signal.

I might also now take a moment to say that the level of serivce in Canada rocks. The people are friendly, and they always smile. If you go to a restaurant, you're guaranteed excellent service. It's amazing. After spending 6 weeks in Quebec and being treated like a king at McDonald's, it was rather depressing to return to the states to behold our slouching, careless, stupid clerks at fast food chains.

Shouldn't we move this discussion to The Physics of Carbon Based Simian Related Terran Slobs?

British Smarties are the little chocolate disks covered in candy...we have M&M's too but they only come in two flavours; on my last trip to Canada I was forced to buy lots of packets just to find out what they tasted like. I was shocked to discove that the peanut-butter M&M's were actually nice.
Of course in the countries like mine that don't have quite enough nuclear weapons we often have problems when we are forced to change the names of our products to the US name when some advertising executive decides to simplify their campaign. For example, no-one my age feels entirely comfortable buying a Snickers bar as we know they're really Marathon's under an assumed name.
Now you've made me hungry, where's the chocolate machine...

Marathon's? Never heard of the name before, but it's cool. What's sad is that if Snickers were called Marathon's here in the US, nobody would eat it: the name suggests healthy, calorie-burning activity. And, well, just ask any American... if it's healthy, it probably doesn't taste good. I'm surprised nobody's come out with a product called "Glob of Sugary Lard" or some such name; it would surely sell well.

And yes, peanut butter M&Ms are extremely delicious, but I don't think they really live up to the lucious taste offered by Reese's Pieces. Do Reese's products exist in Britain?

Mmmm....Peanutbutter M&M's....But the mint ones we had for a while there were very disgusting. Unfortunately, when I go State-side, I don't go for the chocolate, so I really can't compare the difference between Smarties here and there. What really gets me, though, is the fact that about 10 years ago, we had A&W Cream Soda for exactly one year. Amazing stuff. I admit that I go south just to get it. Cream soda in Canada is either pink or clear, to the horror of my American family....

Real cream soda is either clear or (pardon the revulsive description) urine-coloured.

Personally, I think that even clear is an abomination. But you can make a really pretty punch with pink cream soda, ginger ale and orange juice....

Most pink creme soda I've seen is cherry-flavoured.

The original was a very pale amber.

The coloration to which you've referred is caused, surprisingly enough, by genuine bull urine. My family has owned and operated a small cream soda bottling plant for almost 35 years now. A while back, it was standard practise to put bull urine (small quantities so as not to disturb the taste of the soda too much) in the cream soda to act as something of a pasteurization agent. In 1982, the FDA outlawed the use of bull urine for this purpose, so now you find the clear version of the soda, which contains far scarier chemicals.

Actually, I lied. Did I freak you out? Sorry, the creative juices were flowing, and I couldn't let the opportunity to sound like a genuine expert on a twisted topic pass me by.

Well, your basic peanut butter cups can be found in a few places if you look very hard, but it's a struggle.
Oooh, peanut-butter pieces, now they sound nice.

I'm even more hungry now, time to raid the emergency coin drawer and visit the choc machine.